My Caitlyn is growing up. She’s ending her first grade year. Personally, I remember the moment that stick showed two lines and she entered our lives. I am tearing up thinking about it now.
And here she is begging for nail polish and pretty dresses, E-mailing friends and helping me at every turn.
She is a very observant, self-possessed little girl. But every once and a while she surprises me. Yesterday was one of those.
I got a call from school right after drop off that her eye was bloodshot, puffy and painful. I went and got her. Dropped her off at home with daddy and ran with Patrice to speech therapy, which we were doing at the school just in case Caitlyn had pink eye. Turns out my Caitlyn cried when I left with Patrice.
She told me herself later in the day when she ran out to the car when I was going to the grocery store, “daddy said I could go.” She had told him it was because she didn’t want to listen to Patrice cry, but she told me, “I miss you when you are gone.”
As we drove to the store, I said, “I love being with you. Before I know it, you are going to be grown up, you’ll go to college, get married and have a family of your own.” To which she said, “You will always be my family.” It was mama’s turn to cry.
Today was the Mother’s Day brunch at school. My Caitlyn ran right over to me. She also visited with her friends. She was a joy to watch.
So I was a little shocked when she started SOBBING when it was time for me to leave. She cried so hard and so much that she soaked the shoulder of my shirt. I wanted to gather her up and bring her home so badly. I even asked her several times if her eye hurt, knowing I would take it as an out to whisk my baby away if she said yes. But her honest little self said, no it didn’t hurt. So I left her there.
Now I ponder, can a heart break and be thrilled? My heart was breaking leaving her there. I always love having her with me, and especially when she obviously wants me so much. And at the same time, I was thrilled that she wants her mama so much. I know she can take on the world. But she is very grounded with us. I love that. I love she is connected and desirous of her family. I honestly wish I was a strong enough, smart enough mama to be able to home school.
For now, I take each day at a time and count the moments, especially today, until I can go get my girl.
And do you see that acrostic poem she made for me (below)? See the letter R? I better get my butt in gear so I can qualify again…5k training anyone?