Peanut Butter Wars

I am not much of a peanut butter eater, unless said peanut butter is Jif reduced fat.  I love the taste and texture of the reduced fat version.  I know it is not really any good for someone trying to lose some weight, but I often feel powerless against the siren song.

A couple weeks ago, I got completely ensnared.  I could not stop pulling out a spoon to get a yummy dollop.  One after another, after another…even though I could feel my clothing getting tight again.  It was just so yummy.  Then a friend told me about all the sodium in it…I knew I had to resist when I gained 6 lbs in a week.

But oh the agony of my lost love.

I held strong and I did it.  I cut myself down from spoon after spoon in a day to less than one a day.  And thankfully my body was nice enough to forgive me for the sodium onslaught and go back to normal.  But I know my weakness.

So this week found me buying crunchy peanut butter.  I hate the taste, the texture, everything about it.  Yay!!!

I am trying to make other good choices.  I am logging my food, eating lots of protein at breakfast, added in low fat cheese as a snack.  I need more ideas.

What are your real food go-to items?  Do you have recipes you can share?  Help me get my eating on the bandwagon.  I have some goals that running alone won’t win…


Happy Birthday To Me

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This post could go so many directions…so I think I’ll just stick with

Thank you for all the love, support, encouragement and help you have given me to get me to my 40th Birthday!!!  It was such a joy to read each and every Birthday wish yesterday!  Thank you more than words can truly express.


Bipolar Is…

Having a perfect day…and feeling completely broken inside.

Yesterday was Mother’s Day.  My hubby and kids did a great job spoiling me.  There were chocolate chip pancakes.  A skirt that was exactly what I asked for.  Homemade presents.

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And an 8 pack of diet coke.

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All neatly tied up with love.

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Still I struggled.  The depression stayed with me throughout the day.  I kept reminding myself what an amazingly perfect day I was having, truly it was fantastic, but my mind didn’t understand how to act; so there was depression, anxiety, sadness, frustration, and tears.

My very patient husband and I had a good talk about it.  He walked me through one of my biggest fears, and I am trying to accept, believe, and know the truth he spoke into me.

But for now, I am giving myself permission to enjoy one of my favorite meals–egg, sausage, and diet coke…and praying my mind follows suit.

I Want to be Eloquent

But I don’t think that is going to happen tonight.  Things are hard.  Really, really hard.  I had hoped I was just looking at a blip, but instead I am finding this to be a deep descent into darkness, requiring extra medications, extra help from friends, extra boundaries, extra love.

I need all these things when I deserve them least.  I am not very lovable right now.  I am very self absorbed and needy.  I don’t have a lot to give–just my fear and darkness.

I am taking extra as needed medication to get through each day which is making me very lifeless, quite expressionlist.  It is all very frustrating, but it is where I am.

Bible Blowout

Ah.  It is that bittersweet time where activities are wrapping up for the summer.

The kids are so sweet as they finish their year end projects and work really hard to achieve their goals.

Bitter because this year ends our journey with a child in preschool age range.  Patrice will be a big kintergardner in the fall.  Sue will be in third grade and Caitlyn in 4th!!!!

But last night was time to celebrate all they have all learned in Bible club (AWANA).

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Caitlyn finished  her first book for T&T

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Patrice finished Cubbies

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Sue finished Sparks.

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And we couldn’t be more proud!


Our Children: Prayer Warriors

Have you ever struggled to learn to pray?

Is your prayer time just a list of asking God for things?

Do you know how to communicate with God through prayer?

Do you know how to learn to love Him more through prayer?

I have been a Christian for 30 years, and still struggle with every one of those items.  I am just now learning how to pray scriptures to the Lord.  I am just now learning how to try and listen for God’s voice and words.  It has been a struggle my entire life to learn these skills.

I want better for my girls.

I am excited to have found a 4 week curriculum to teach my girls Prayer Warriors  Teaching Kids to Talk to God.

Are you, or your church ministry looking for just such a curriculum?  Check this one out. You can get this four week study for just $75.00.  It will give kids a foundation in prayer and communicating with God.

Teach your kids how to pray.*

Prayer is a conversation with God. It is not about saying the right words; it’s about speaking from your heart then listening to what God has to say.

What could be worth more than that?


*Quote from Children’s Ministry Deals

Disclaimer:  All opinions on here are my own except where credit is given.  I was given a copy of the curriculum in exchange for this review, but the thoughts expressed are my own.

Giving Credit

“I didn’t do anything all day.”

“What happened to my day.”

“How is it already bedtime?”

These thoughts ran through my head yesterday.  I felt like I had spun my wheels all day. I knew I had been doing stuff, I just didn’t see any progress.  Where had my effort and time gone?

So I decided to list it out.  And I found I had done quite a bit.


went to church

cleaned the kitchen to get ready for school on Monday.  That is always a big job on Sunday as breakfast is a bigger deal and there is no time to clean up before church.

helped three little girls get their verses for Bible club ready.  That included 5 verses for just one of them!!

wrote lesson plans for Monday.

clocked a route for a 6 1/2 mile run and walked a little over 4 miles of it.

got dinner around.

called the doctor to get a script for pink eye (poor Patrice).

picked up said prescription and then administered it.

fell into bed when it was all done…

Thinking about everything I did was a good exercise for me.  I would suggest you do the same thing.  Go through and write everything you have done when you can’t figure out what you’ve done.  I bet your list will impress even you!!!!



Note To Self

Note to self:

it takes two days to overcome a missed dose of medication

there is such a thing as a Watusi.  I have always called rear ends watusis, but turns out it is a breed of cattle with huge horns.

Alpacas will not defecate where they sleep

albino peacocks look amazing

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you can take a bus full of kids to a petting farm with an amazing array of animals and the kids will be most interested in the run-of-the-mill barn cat

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reading a book about running is not nearly as cathartic as a good run, but this book is full of info and encouragement that I am soaking in.

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(Thanks Jenny for the recommendation)

my daughter rocks.  She said/did 16 sections in her AWANA book today that included activities and memorization

an HD antennae brings in a lot of channels in our area.  Including one that airs Murder She Wrote.  Caitlyn and I watched a couple episodes last night and she said, “I’ve been so glad to see a commercial!”  I guess going cable free has been more traumatic than I thought. :)

I love praying for people.  I really, really do.


You’re An Old Lady

Please come visit me over at ProjectSemicolon today.

“Was that game fun Patrice?”
“Not by myself.”
“Do you want me to play it with you?”
“You’re a grown up.”
“But I can still play.”
“No, You’re too old.”

And just like that, I was summarily dismissed from playing Let’s Go Fishing…

Reading Reading Reading


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This weekend has been a fantastic time on the reading front here at our abode.  Caitlyn read Where the Sidewalk Ends by Shel Silverstein in less than a day.  Sue had her first turn at reading to the dogs.  She read Pinkalicious School Rules to her furry friend.  She did it flawlessly.  Caitlyn once again read to a canine friend.  She chose another Shel Silverstien masterpiece, The Giving Tree.