Monthly Archives: May 2011

God Sized Dreams

Have you ever had a God sized dream?  Meaning, something so big, it is humanly impossible, only God can accomplish it?

I tend to keep my dreams manageable, wouldn’t want to be disappointed when things don’t come about as I desire.  But is that the right thing to do?  Where does that leave God?  If everything we ask for is humanly possible, doesn’t that leave God out?

Recently, I have begun praying for something that is a God sized dream.  My thoughts are consumed by it.  I have been praying for this “thing” to happen for 5 years, but honestly, I couldn’t see how it would so I made life okay even if the answer was no.  And so far, the answer has been no.  Pretty much what I expected.

What if the Lord doesn’t want to do what is expected, but by asking, without really believing, aren’t I telling Him He can’t do it?

I don’t want to limit God, I want to live in the fullness of what He has for our family.  And right now I believe that is in praying very specifically for this God sized dream.

With God’s power working in us, God can do much more than anything we can ask or imagine.  To Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus for all time forever and ever, Amen.  Ephesians 3:20-21

What has the Lord asked you to pray for that was beyond you?  What does He have you praying for right now?  How can I join you in praying?

Check out what others are thinking about

A Few Days Late Again for Saturday Snapshots

I am a few days late for Saturday Snapshots, but I just had to share these cuties!  I will share more of our 2nd camping adventure on Thursday.

On Forgetting–5 Minute Friday

On Fridays, the Gypsy Mama invites us to write for 5 minutes without worrying if it is just right…to just write and share.  Come along and join the fun.

On Forgetting…
This one has me a little stumped.  I of course want to remember so much right now.  The sweetness of my baby girl next to me in bed, the joy she has when nursing, the wonder of each of my girls learning so much every day.  I want to remember the amazingness of this time.
There are other things I am not sure how I want to remember them.  If all goes as planned, I am in my final days with postpartum depression.  I will finish the transcranial magnetic stimulation treatments on Wednesday.  At that point I will end my journey to find the right medication, I will end the daily battle against myself.  Who doesn’t want that?
But another part of me wonders.  What will it be like to live without this challenge?  Will I just walk away from the wonderful ladies I have met through #ppdchat on twitter?  Will I stop blogging about postpartum depression?  What will I do with the last 9 months?  Will I be able to remember these first months of Patrice’s life?  Or will they be a fog of depression, anxiety and medication. 
What will I remember when this journey is over?  How will this journey really end?
*TMS was not my cure all.  The Postpartum Depression and Anxiety became Bipolar Disorder II
Make sure to head over and see what others are thinking about forgetting…


Bead fun for Try Something New Thursday

Recently the girls got a bead kit that looked like fun.  Without instructions. 

Hubby said to put all the little beads on the form

It took a long time.

Caitlyn was totally into it

Patrice, not so much.

Caitlyn made up for it with her enthusiasm

Sue was not so interested either, but mama kept at it.

Hubby also said we  had to put it in the microwave to meld the pieces together

This did NOT work out, we had to call someone for directions.

Turns out, you had to IRON it.  Glad we found it out before mine uh, Sue’s got damaged…

 What have you tried lately?  Did it turn out?  Link and show it off whether it was a flop or a fantastic success.

Weight Loss Wednesday Week 11

 I must say I have not been doing much in the dieting or even exercise realm lately.  Honestly, I am not sure what I have been doing lately.  Running back and forth to the doctor for daily TMS treatments seems to be how I spend my life. But it is helping, so I am more than willing to invest my time in it right now.
But something seems to be working.  I have continued to lose about 1/2 a pound a week which is perfect for losing while nursing a baby.  I think part of it might be getting off some of the medications for postpartum depression.  As we all know, most depression medications cause weight gain.  The one I am currently on actually shows some weight loss and I have noticed my appetite decreasing greatly.  For which I am glad!
I did do walking and running intervals on the treadmill tonight.  Bless my hubby, he saw me struggling with some stuff and reminded me of running, which helps me so much. I got down there for 1/2 and hour and feel like a new woman.
What have you been doing for your health lately?  Alicia has a great post up today.  Please hop over and check it out!

Prayer Requests

Good Morning,

I am hoping you will forgive me being a little vague.  I have endeavored to be an “open book” in many ways through the postpartum depression.  It has been a journey many of you have encouraged me on.  And I appreciate that very much.  More than you will ever know.  So it may seem strange that I am asking you to pray for our family while giving very little detail.  There is just a lot coming at us from several fronts.  I ask you to pray for our peace as a family, wisdom for our family and provision for us.

Thank you!  I look forward to sharing reports of God’s work on our behalf.

I fearlessly, confidently adn boldly draw near to the throne of grace, that I may obtain mercy for my failures and find grace to help in time of every need.  I obtain appropriate help and well timed help, coming just when I need it.  Hebrews 4:16

May we experience the peace Patrice has when she is sleeping in our arms

Sunny Dispositions for Saturday Snapshots

See what others found to take pictures of…

Changing Seasons–5 Minute Friday

Got five minutes? Let’s write. Let’s write in shades of real and brave and unscripted.

Let’s just write and not worry if it’s just right or not.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat for pure unedited love of the written word.

2. Link back here and invite others to join in.

3. Go buck wild with encouragement for the five minuter who linked up before you.

This weeks prompt at The Gypsy Mama is When Seasons Change…

I have been writing a little heavier lately as the battle with the postpartum depression has been very intense.  I tried to return to work yesterday,  but that did not work at all.  I was in tears three times in the first 40 minutes, so now I am off from work a while longer.  I am disappointed as I have so much to do at work and really thought it would go well…

But I thought for today I would write a little more lightly.  The seasons are changing here.  I am loving the sweet beauty of the lilacs as they bloom and it is nice to hear my hubby saying he needs to mow the grass instead of how he needs to shovel snow,  but not everything is changing.

My oldest, Caitlyn, is much like her daddy in many ways.  One way she is like daddy and NOT mommy, is she likes to have her back scratched.  And it never seems to manage which season it is.  She will stand in front of you for as long as it takes to get her back scratched.  And she gives very good directions, go this way, now that, now down, now up, more, don’t stop.  Always wants her back scratched no matter which season!

What does your child like that is either like you or very different?

Camping with Three Little Girls for Try Something New Thursday

As you likely know, last week Blogger was having some trouble and it was impossible to post on Thursday, so this is a week late…

For Mother’s Day we tried something very new.  We went camping with our three little girls.  It was great.  The weather was perfect.  The drive to and from went well.  I got to visit several college friends.  I did a 5k race and accomplished my best time ever.  It was a success!

What have you tried new? Won’t you link up and share?

Multitude Mondays 107-113

I took a break from Multitude Mondays for a couple weeks, but I have not forgotten it.  There has just been much on my heart and in my life.  Please browse some of my other posts and see what the Lord has been working on.

In the midst of all that has been going on, I celebrated a birthday.  On Friday the 13th.  It was low key, but we had a good time as a family.  I had a treatment for the depression and then we headed out to dinner.  We were all exhausted when we got home, so we did cake Saturday morning.

I am thankful for:
107.  my family.
108.  another year of life.
109.  the Lord’s faithfulness.
110.  little girls playing in the bath tub.
111.  three little girls that give me the honor of celebrating Mother’s Day.
112.  boxes of clothes and gifts from family for our girls.
113.  a hubby that serves us with his life.

Make sure to check out what others are thankful for at A Holy Experience.