I finished reading 1000 Gifts this last week. It took me about a year. It has never taken me that long to read a book in my life. This was a very hard season in my life to be reading this book.
To be thankful in the pain of postpartum depression. It was hard. Some weeks I could not bring myself to do it. Other weeks my heart was full of thankfulness, but I could not put it into words. Often, my heart was working so hard to hang on, it couldn’t be thankful for little things, it had only room to focus on those things that had guided my heart through another week.
I often stood in front of my computer struggling to remember enough of the week to list those things that caused my heart to give thanks.
There were weeks it was honestly impossible for me to read. I assumed it was a failing of me. That I wasn’t praying hard enough or trying hard enough. It wasn’t until I was at an appointment and the person I was talking to said, “you can focus to read?” No, no I could not. It wasn’t me, it was the illness, the depression and anxiety.
Thankfully the days of not being able to think clearly are getting much further apart, and most of the time, it is just minutes that I struggle through. I was able to begin reading again. And pressed through Ann’s book.
And now I shall work more dilligently to see the Lord’s hand in the big and the little.
234. Girly giggles as they do a Thanksgiving project.
235. Baby girl shreaks as she learns more about the sounds she can make.
236. Colorful vegetables ready to go in the crock pot.
237. A dog willing to the eat the pot roast my girls think tastes like chicken.
238. Babies toddling around with Daddy’s Bible.
239. Illness moving quickly through the household, not tarrying.
240. Upcoming family festivities.
241. Bright colorful foam stickers made into hair adornments.