Monthly Archives: December 2011

What Can I Do for my Health?

As you know, I have been exercising a lot.  I started with running, my first exercise I ever enjoyed; and that has opened to other things I enjoy…Insanity Workout, biking, crunches, I am in love with exercise.  It is helping me tremendously with my moods, with my satisfaction in myself.  I also want my girls to learn that exercise is fun and something valuable.

I’ve probably gotten obnoxious with how much I talk and blog about it…but hey, I just can’t stop myself.  Sunday, at Christmas, I was talking to my nephew about it.  He is in medical school and finds amazing resources on-line.  And he passed this one on…

I hope you enjoy it…

A Blissful Day 250–261

Today, I had to take my oldest to the dentist for fillings.  I thought she would be pretty freaked out, so I told her afterward we were going shopping.

The dentist is very impatient and declared he could only do one, she was too fidgety…blah, blah, blah…but we got one.  She was so good.  And it just kept going.  We headed to the mall.  We had some Christmas shopping to do (as I will head over to my family later this week to celebrate). 

We started with some clothes shopping for a niece and nephew.  It was so fun picking stuff out with her.  Talking, Giggling.  Having her listen.

Then we got a pretzel, once her hour had passed and she could eat.  And on to two more stores where she helped me pick out gifts, her tastes run a little expensive in the toy store!

When she got tired, she said, “let’s find some place to hang out.”  And started hinting at the play area.  I said, “you just want to go play.”  “That’s what you think mommy.”  Then a little later, she said, “you’re right mommy, I do want to play!”

So we did for a bit.

Then off to do more errands.  And finally, lunch. I decided to treat us to a real, grown up lunch.  Too bad I chose something neither of us ended up liking to split…ah well.  We got it sorted out.  And then to head home.
It was a joy and a pleasure to spend the day with my Caitlyn.  Oh, the heartbreak I felt when I got home and the bickering, whining and crying started up with all three girls.  I LOVE having my three.  I wouldn’t change it for the world.  But I do wonder, sometimes, if we are raising them correctly.  Is it supposed to be so hard to have peace with all three of them together?  Are they supposed to bring out the worst in each other?  What are we doing wrong???
I am so thankful for today:
250.  Fun and bonding with my oldest daughter.
251.  A nice Christmas.
252.  Singing Happy Birthday to Jesus using a cake I decorated!!!
253.  Running 10 miles without stopping.
254.  Finishing a fitness challenge.
255.  Signing up to run a half marathon in the spring.
256.  Hugging a good friend at church on Sunday.
257.  The generosity of family to my girls.
258.  A green Christmas.
259.  The support of my hubby and friends during a rough bit yesterday.
260.  Still being here a year after writing this post.
261.  Singing, “My Hat it Has 3 Corners” and thinking of my dad.
Won’t you join in counting for what we are thankful?

Christmas Adventure

As I mentioned, we had planned to go cut down a tree and have real adventure getting a real tree rather than using one of our artificial trees. 

We had an adventure alright but it consisted of cleaning up a baby in the parking lot of a store after she got sick all over herself.  Sigh…

But we did find a beautiful tree at a flower market. 

Patrice took a nap while we decorated but she enjoyed cleaning beforehand

Running Like Crazy


I know it has been quiet here on the blog…

As you may know from twitter and facebook, I have been running, and crunching and pushing up and biking and insanitying like crazy.  All in the name of a fitness challenge…I know I keep talking about it.  I love it,  but man, it is taking up a lot of time lately.  Thankfully my dear hubby is very supportive of my fitness work.  He has done most of the parenting and family stuff so I can run, ride, crunch, all of it.  Only 2 1/2 more days. 

300 crunches, 5 miles running and 72 minutes other activity (Insanity workout) to go…It is a crazy balmy day for the first day of winter here in the mitten so I am even hoping to get outside to run tonight.  I don’t prefer running in the dark, but I don’t want to miss the chance to be able to say I ran outside in the mitten the week of Christmas.

So please bear with me for a few more days as all I talk about is working out…

I promise I will share pictures of our Christmas tree, as soon as we get a computer up and running at home…

Merry Christmas!

Random Thoughts Today

Life has been all over the map lately.  Just over a week ago I could not see a way out of a very dark hole.  I asked my hubby if he would find someone else to love if I didn’t make it.  He said no.  That makes me sad.  I would want him to find someone new.  My husband is incredible.  He deserves to have a wonderful, strong wife.

Here we are a week later, I am in a much better place.  I found a new doctor.  I think it’s a good fit.

I have been kicking butt and taking names at work.  And there is only one week left until some time off for the holidays.

I have been exercising like crazy.  It helps on the dark days.  I think I am getting addicted.  As I have mentioned before, a co-worker challenged me to a fitness challenge between Thanksgiving and Christmas.  I never dreamed I would do it, but, if all goes as planned, I will be done with it on Friday morning, 2 days early!  I have completed the 500 pushups, and 50 miles on bike.  I will have the crunches done by Wednesday and the other activity by 6:30 Friday morning.  And somewhere in there I have got to be able to pull off 20 miles running/walking.  I did 5 tonight.  I just have to get those 20 miles in.  This is the biggest fitness anything I have ever undertaken.  And I have it within reach.  Me, mom of 3, never ran a step until my 30s, used to be in a wheelchair, me.  I just have to do it.

We headed out on an adventure as a family today to cut down a Christmas tree.  We got all bundled up and started the rather long drive.  About 1/2 way there we stopped for lunch.  While we waited at drive thru, Patrice started throwing up.  That makes two of them now randomly throwing up, Sue started on Thursday.  But it is the weirdest virus ever, they act perfectly fine at all times, except when throwing up.  No fever, still laughing and playing, just not eating much and then whammo.  I hope it stays mild and passes quickly.

So anyway, back to the adventure.  It just didn’t seem right to drive another 40 minutes to cut down a tree, so we opted to find one at a flower market in the area.  The older girls picked it out.  It is a balsam fir.  They did a great job choosing it.  I have not had a real tree since High School, hubby hasn’t since Middle School.  I didn’t realize how much harder it is to get the ornaments to stay on the tree.  With artificial you just bend the branch up…doesn’t quite work like that with a real tree.  But we had a great time trimming it and are loving the smell.  I took lots of pictures and even remembered to have hubby take some of me with the girls.  (Patrice slept through the whole deal).  Yes, I will post pictures, just not tonight.  Suddenly, I am very tired…I can’t imagine why…

60, A Number Not Reached

My dad would have been 60 today.  But I lost him a little over 7 years ago in a single car crash. 

My dad was a hardworking, friendly, outgoing, chocolate cake loving, twizzlers licorice addict.

He was an exacting disciplinarian with high expectations, but you knew what they were.  There was no guessing on what would make him happy, what would disappoint him.

I remember as a kid if I wanted to go play at someone’s house, or go do something, that his first question would be, “are your chores done?”  It was incredibly rare for him to say I couldn’t do something fun if I could say “yes, all my chores are done.”

And if I paid attention, I could learn to expect other things from him.  When I was 13 I bought a horse.  My dad expected the horse to be ridden every day, and the stall cleaned each day…It was hard to find time to do both every day, but I quickly learned, if I got up on Sunday’s before church to go ride, my dad would clean the stall out while I rode. 

When I got older and started driving, I paid for my own gas.  I hated it when my dad would ask to borrow my car, until I figured out that if I said yes, he always returned it full of gas no matter how empty it was when he borrowed it.  I started hoping he would borrow my car!  And that was when gas was just over a $1 a gallon. If you were still with us daddy, I would let you borrow my car all the time! 

I wish he were here for lots of reasons.  He would love my girls.  I think, while he would think my running was silly, he would also be proud of how far I have come in my journey with Multiple Sclerosis.

I think he always believed in me, even when I thought it meant he didn’t understand what I was going through.  I think maybe he could just envision more than I could, past the current challenges, to a stronger future.

And though right now I often feel weak and beaten, it is a stronger future than I often imagined as a child.  I have an amazing husband and three incredible girls.  The future I always wanted.

Thank you daddy for loving me, for believing in me.

Happy Birthday!

Baby Talk with Story3girl

I have met many lovely ladies on twitter, via the twitter #ppdchat.  Story3girl is one of those.  And I have loved hearing how she signs with her baby.  I used to be an interpreter for the hearing impaired, and I rarely remember to use sign with my girls..I have done better with Patrice, but not near as well as Story3girl.

Check out her post here and then her blog, Sometimes Its Hard.


I wish I could talk to my baby.

Okay, perhaps that’s not entirely accurate. I talk to her a lot. I mean, she’s the only other person around all day, so I pretty much talk to her constantly. I just wish she’d talk back.

So instead we sign.

When Baby Girl was a newborn, I read about baby signing and was immediately sold on the idea. I get to communicate with her? It prevents tantrums? It improves her vocabulary and maybe even accelerates her speech. Boom. So almost immediately, I started signing to her. Just a few words at first, and whenever I remembered. By the time she was 6 months I was pretty consistently signing “milk,” “diaper,” and “all done.” This is a piece of cake, I thought. I’m so on the ball, she’ll be signing in no time. I’m a genius at this baby thing.


By ten months, I had decided we were complete baby sign failures. No matter how much I signed, no matter how much I tried, she showed no interest in signing back to me. For months, people had said to me, “Oh no. You don’t need to worry. Mine didn’t start signing until 8 months. They say 9 months is average.” But, people, she was 10 months old. And nothing. Was I doing it wrong? Was my baby broken?

Then, one day, when she was about ten and a half months old, Baby Girl signed “more.” At first it just looked like she was clapping, instead of bringing her fingertips together, but she was clearly doing it in response to the question of whether she wanted more. She was actually trying to tell me something.

It wasn’t smooth sailing from there. For the next couple months, “more” was the only sign she made, and she didn’t make it consistently. She still found it easier to get what she wanted by screaming or by throwing her high chair tray. And when she did sign more, it was still indistinguishable from clapping. Once again, I was frustrated. “Use your words. . . err, word, Baby Girl.” I was sure we’d never get this right, and I’d be doomed to signing purgatory FOREVER.

Except not.

A little after her first birthday, she had a signing explosion, just like the books said she would. She signs “more,” “food,” “milk,” “dog,” “ball,” “duck,” “all done,” “mommy,” and “daddy.” The past couple of weeks she’s been signing “baby.” A few times I’ve seen a confused sign that resembles “diaper” right after she’s, ahem, used her diaper. She doesn’t sign “bed,” but I’m pretty sure that’s just because she doesn’t want to….

And it’s amazing. It doesn’t prevent the screaming 100% because, let’s face it, my girl is a bit of a drama baby, but it does help both of us to figure out what is necessary faster. If we’re playing and she signs, “eat,” I can get her into her high chair before the tantrum sets in. And while there are definitely days when I ask whose idea it was to teach her the sign for milk, I do prefer it to her ripping my shirt off or biting my shoulder.

It’s amazing to see what’s going on in her head too. She recognizes that her pink stuffed dog and grandma’s living,breathing pet are the same thing. She could tell that a rubber ducky was the same thing as her blanket ducky. But she thought every animal she saw at the zoo was a “doggie,” even the panda bear. (Even the emu, which she could not be convinced was a “bird.”)

Sometimes, I’m convinced, she messes with me. She will sit in her high chair and sign “more” “all done” “more” “all done” She will sign “eat” “duck” “milk.” Sometimes when we’re out,she’ll just start signing “baby” in her stroller, when there’s no one else around – no doubt, to remind me that she is, of course, my baby. When she doesn’t know what she wants, I think she just runs through her entire lexicon of signs, hoping that one of us will figure it out.

Now go check out her blog, Hard to Mommy

And I don’t always. I try, sometimes probably too hard, but I don’t always get it right. And that’s okay. I’m just glad that she’s starting to hold up her end of the conversation.

Working, Working, Working–WLWed

Depression is a pain in the butt.  A big one.  You can’t wish it away.  Believe me, I’ve tried.  You can’t pretend it’s not there.  Tried that too.  You can’t outrun it, but…well, you might be able to get a bit of relief with exercise.  At least I can.

I took up running after Sue, and before Patrice, was born.  I loved it then.  I now know it was the Lord preparing and providing help for me as I slug through the postpartum depression.

Lately, I have been upping my activity.  Saturday I ran my first 10K race.  I finished in 1:21:33.  A 13:08 minute mile.  I know, nothing to write home about, but I ran every single step and I was  not the last person to finish.

I have also been taking part in a fitness challenge at work.  A co-worker has a friend who is a personal trainer.  Her friend gives her clients a fitness challenge every year during the holiday season.  It consists of 500 push ups, 5000 crunches, 50 miles running/walking, 50 miles biking, 500 minutes other activity. 

Currently, I am over 50% done with pushups, running, and biking.  The most challenging one for me is the other activity.  But I have hopefully turned that around.  I found a set of the Insanity workout by Beachbody on Craigslist for a good price.  I started it yesterday.  And got up early to do it this morning…The goal is every morning…

What are your exercise goals?  How are you reaching them?  Do you need a workout buddy to keep you on track?  What type of exercise catches your attention?

Check out Confessions of a Snowflake for more encouragement.

Dark and Quiet–243-249, Multitude Mondays

I know the blog has been a little quiet lately, and the posts I do share, a little dark, but that has been life lately.  I have been quiet, except to beg for help as the depression and I go another round. 
Last Thursday I reached a level of despondancy I have not known in many months.  I cried like I haven’t cried in a long time.  And that brought an eery calm.
Have you ever been afraid of the calm and the quiet?  It is a scary place to be. 
But the Lord is not leaving me there.  He has brought so many to walk with me.  He will give me strength I do not have in order to continue to fight this demon of depression.  Thursday I will head to a new doctor, actually a team of doctors.  I am scared.  I am scared of the questionaire, I am scared of sharing my story again.  I am scared of trying another therapy and having it not work.  And yet, I will walk.  I will walk when I would rather hide.  I will speak out when I would rather be quiet.  I will fight for my girls.  I will show them mama loves them enough to go another round with the doctors and depression.
And I will be thankful:
243.  the love and support of my hubby.  He posted this comment, under my name, on my blog last Saturday–
“Right now my Honey is running a 10k. As I will not really understand her bad days and is hard for me to FIX IT because I am MR. FIX IT ya know. All I can say is I Thank the Lord for you and am in WONDER as I watch you DOWN one moment, then crawling out of the hole to run a 10k or do laundry or get yourself out of bed to start another day. Sweetheart I might not understand but thank you for telling me when you are stuggling so I can pray FOR the Lords help because HE is more powerful than any dark hole. I will listen to HIM as HE gives me what I need to support you through….. LIKE A HUG!!!! (sorry) As I said I do not understand BUT I love you and am so proud of you!!! NOW run girl like you have never run before. Good job Luvy!!!!”

244.  The ability to run.  6.2 miles.  I was not the fastest by any means, but I ran every step.

245.  The swans I saw flying overhead as I ran.

246.  The Christmas music the residents of Holly played for the runners as we made our way through the race.

247.  The continued support of so many who love me, even when I am not lovable.

248.  The wonderful Christmas pictures we did as a family on Saturday.
249.  Running with a friend.

A Million Times Over

As many of you know, I have really been struggling with the depression issues that started after Patrice was born.  The battle has been intense and is not over.  I am pursuing a new doctor and follow up on some other health issues that may contribute.

In the meantime, I am fighting for my girls.  I am fighting for all of them.  They are worth every moment of the fight.  And while, the beginning of my issues coincided with Patrice’s birth, believe me when I say I would go through this a million times over for just one moment with her.