As I recently talked about, I am worth fighting the depression for, and I am worth Jesus dying for, but that last part is hard.
Faith is not easy. We have to choose to believe things we can’t explain completely. Faith in God is not the only time we do that, we actually do every single day. I can’t explain gravity, but I know it is true.
But faith is different in that it is a relationship with God. It is opening ourselves and trusting Him. Again, faith is not the only time we do this, we do it with friendships, spouses, children, but those we can see and understand. We understand people being sad, failing, being angry. We get that. But God? We can’t see Him. We can’t read His facial expressions. We can’t feel His arms around us. It is hard to trust someone you never see or hear.
It’s even harder when your soul hurts.
I’ve dealt with various illnesses. All of them drain you, but none has sapped the soul like depression. None have every taken my ability to pray. None have made me scared of church.
Depression does that.
How do you go to church when you are just going to cry? How do you pray when you have no words? How do you believe God can love you when you hate yourself?
Depression is hard and it steals the faith that could make it easier.
Survive til you Thrive!