I’m Scared of Feeling So Good–Secret Mommyhood Confessions

In case I haven’t mentioned it, the last 18 months has been a long journey with depression.  Long.  Yanno, in case I forgot to mention it.

Lately, has been better.  With some good breakthroughs that are going to benefit me and my family now and in the future.

I realized, in addition to the fact that I am worth the fight, but also, that I am not damaging my girls with this struggle, they are actually going to benefit as I get better.  They will have a stronger, happier mommy.  I won’t be perfect, darn, but I will give them less of my issues, less of my hang-ups.

I’ve also realized the postpartum depression is not an isolated incidence.  It is not my first experience with depression.  And very likely will not be my last.  Both the doctor and a friend think that is a good thing to realize.  I’m not sure how it fits into my continued healing and long-term health, but for now, it is what it is.

I am thrilled to have had some good revelations that are bringing me more freedom and health.

But I am scared.  What if this is a high and the bottom drops out again?  Will these revelations, along with my family and faith, sustain me?  Or will I see only the darkness and anxiety again?  Is this just a temporary lull?  Will life again hurt like it did last month?  Will the progress stay?  Or disappear like the mist?

Linking up for Secret Mommyhood Confessions.

Survive til you Thrive!

3 Responses to I’m Scared of Feeling So Good–Secret Mommyhood Confessions

  1. don’t be scared, it’s not a high, your mood is probably just balancing out finally, that’s what i’m hoping anyway.

  2. For me that fear is always around the corner. Always. But you have to trust in that “break” and trust in yourself because remember how much you’ve learned how to cope and that you have support around you to fall back on.
    You’re children are very forgiving. Chunky loves me just the same…your kids love you too.
    xoxo

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