Normal–Mine or Yours?

Patrice will be 20 months old next Saturday.  Crazy to think of that.  It is so fun watching her learn and grow.

But I’ve been missing something–feeling Normal.  I’ve been waiting for me to get to normal with the depression medication and then had plans to stop taking the medications and still be normal.

It doesn’t seem to be happening.  Most days normal seems further and further away.  I haven’t been okay with that fact.

Until yesterday.

The lovely and brilliant A’Driane, or AddyeB on Twitter, of Butterfly Confessions, was talking me through the most recent turn of events in my walk with depression and I lamented not knowing when or if I would be normal…

“Feels like I’ll never find normal again.”

“I’m learning the thing with mental illness is that we have to redefine what normal means for us.  It’s frustrating but kinda freeing to think that my normal doesn’t have to be like other peoples’,”  A’Driane replied.

“I like that perspective.  I think I’m going to claim as normal anything that isn’t anxiety, suicide or uncontrollable.  Screw whether or not it takes meds to be normal.”

“Exactly!  That’s a healthy and attainable perspective.  Takes the pressure off of  you, yanno?  Allows you to work with your illness, not fight against it in that sense,” A’Driane said.

“You’ve given me a gift that no one’s been able to help me with, real hope of being okay,” I told her.

Reread that last sentence.  Let it sink in.

I let the whole conversation wash over me.  And felt healing come.  I am not there consistently, but I can get to that there.  I can be happy in that there.  I can be healthy in that there.

It all came with a change in perspective.  Where could you change your perspective to be healthier and stronger?  Could healing come with a new perspective?

Survive til you Thrive!

3 Responses to Normal–Mine or Yours?

  1. That is an awesome perspective! I find it very freeing to think that I can choose my own normal. The rest of you can just deal with it!

    I’m smiling very big right now thinking of you being hopeful and normal. 😀

  2. Me too Amy, me too.

  3. So very true. We have a new normal, but also, what is normal anyway? My normal, even though we fight a similar battle, is not your normal because we are still different people. Maybe part of winning the battle is knowing when to fight what we *think* is normal and let that go and embrace what it means for us.

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