When Nothing is Wrong

Today nothing is wrong.  I don’t mean life is perfect, I just mean there is nothing glaringly wrong.

But something feels wrong.

Like I’ll say the wrong thing.

Do the wrong thing.

Like today when my phone, which I had silenced, rang–not silently, in a meeting.  I’m not whether to apologize to my managers or just pretend it never happened.  Yes, for the record, I had a valid reason to have my phone with me.  I don’t wear a watch and needed to know the time so I could leave in time for my doctor appointment.

But again I’m just afraid of the wrong.

Afraid I’ll say the wrong thing to the speech therapist about her talking to me about changes, not the sitter.

When nothing is wrong, I can express things like this to my doctor “I am really tired of feeling very upset or anxious inside and acting fine on the outside.”  The doctor didn’t solve it for me, but he did validate it.  He said, “yes, there is a disconnect with you.  Sometimes I can sense you are upset, but often it is hard to tell.”  Again he didn’t fix it.  He just validated it.  For some reason I feel better.

It was good to have an appointment that was not primarily talking about medicaiton, but actually talking about what might be causing my anxiety.  These are the good things we can do when nothing it wrong.

Survive til you Thrive!

3 Responses to When Nothing is Wrong

  1. Being validated helps us not to feel so crazy, huh?

  2. It is kinda like the reason my OB/GYN is my favorite doctor. (Which is good considering the part of me he spends the most time looking at!) He is the only person in my life I can remember telling me, “You are perfectly normal.” I don’t know that I’ve ever heard that from anyone else, and, yes, he was only referring to my reproductive organs, but I like to take that statement and blanket it over me when I feel exceptionally misunderstood and being pushed toward the edge of crazy.

    Days when you feel off like that are sometimes almost worse than the days when you KNOW it is a “wrong” day. I am glad you were able to come out the end of it feeling a bit more peace.

    P.S. Don’t apologize about the phone thing. Unless it happens again in a meeting, just let it go and don’t let it eat at you.

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