Today nothing is wrong. I don’t mean life is perfect, I just mean there is nothing glaringly wrong.
But something feels wrong.
Like I’ll say the wrong thing.
Do the wrong thing.
Like today when my phone, which I had silenced, rang–not silently, in a meeting. I’m not whether to apologize to my managers or just pretend it never happened. Yes, for the record, I had a valid reason to have my phone with me. I don’t wear a watch and needed to know the time so I could leave in time for my doctor appointment.
But again I’m just afraid of the wrong.
Afraid I’ll say the wrong thing to the speech therapist about her talking to me about changes, not the sitter.
When nothing is wrong, I can express things like this to my doctor “I am really tired of feeling very upset or anxious inside and acting fine on the outside.” The doctor didn’t solve it for me, but he did validate it. He said, “yes, there is a disconnect with you. Sometimes I can sense you are upset, but often it is hard to tell.” Again he didn’t fix it. He just validated it. For some reason I feel better.
It was good to have an appointment that was not primarily talking about medicaiton, but actually talking about what might be causing my anxiety. These are the good things we can do when nothing it wrong.Survive til you Thrive!