Here it is. Day two of letting my girls go back to school.
Yesterday was horrible. I begged God to let them wake up just sick enough to stay home. They both had very mild colds. I asked them a thousand times if they wanted to stay home with mommy. No. No matter how many times I asked.
I cried as I watched them get in the truck to leave. I sobbed as they drove away. I cried throughout the day as I counted the hours and minutes until they got home. I ran to the door several times in the afternoon thinking it was them.
I passed my day cuddling Patrice. It did not go fast enough.
I was told on twitter and facebook that I needed to trust God and have more faith. I don’t know what to do with that advice. What good does that do except to insult me. And insinuate the writer knows the state of my faith and beliefs. I know it just left me cold and angry. Maybe people are right, maybe I don’t have enough faith.
My heart just keeps replaying an agony I can not really imagine. That is too horrible to imagine. To lose a child. My heart goes out to those mamas and daddies that buried their babies yesterday, and will in the days to come. And I beg God to bring my babies home.
I again let them go to school today with bated breath. I waved until they were out of sight. And I am counting the hours.
Bring them back to me safe and sound Lord Jesus.