Nobody Talks About

The last two weeks I have been battling something. I didn’t talk about it for days unless it was completely unavoidable. I even kept my mouth shut on social media expect in private messages. I was terrified of judgement. I was afraid people would think I was a bad mom.

We were battling head lice. That is an epic battle in a house of 5 people.

But nobody talks about it. Nobody warns you of all the laundry. All the tears shed by the girls as their heads are combed through again. Nobody tells you how isolated you will feel as you are afraid to go to church or public places for fear of spreading the little buggers.

And nobody told me the anger it would incite inside of me. How I would feel so helpless and mocked as I did everything to get rid of them only to have us find more bugs.

Unfortunately, lice are not the only things mamas don’t talk about.

People don’t talk much about depression and mental illnesses. It is taboo. We want to pretend it is not there, because then it can’t happen to us, right?

This attitude hurts mamas. They bring home a baby through adoption or birth. The happiest time of their lives, right? And yet they are filled with anxiety, anger, rage, sadness. But they don’t talk about it. They don’t find out postpartum depression is very common and treatable. They slug it out alone.

But you don’t have to. There are lots of mamas that know the reality of postpartum depression. I found an amazing community on twitter, #ppdchat. We have moderated chats twice on Mondays (yesterday we were even trending during one of the chats) and the rest of the week there are always mamas if you just tweet with the hashtag.

I also found great support through my midwife. She worked with me for over a year until I found a psychiatrist who could help.

It takes work, which is likely no what a mama wants to hear when already doing so much with a new baby, but just like that baby is worth all that work, so is the mama.

Reach out, get help, talk about it.

Survive til you Thrive!

5 Responses to Nobody Talks About

  1. Charity, I had no idea how common lice were in elementary school until we had an outbreak at our daycare that came from the kids who were in the afterschool care at our daycare. Hugs for all that laundry and combing.

    I am becoming more and more open about talking about my own struggles with postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety. I do not want other mamas to suffer and struggle in silence for so long like I did. The mama is worth it as much and even more so than the baby because the mama is the glue of the family. Hugs.

  2. Oh Charity. I think lice is soooo common when kids are little. But I do understand the embarrassment and that’s ok. I do hope you get rid of those little bugs fast!

    And yes, not enough people talk about the hard and conflicted feelings moms have when we bring a baby home. And how it doesn’t help when people say things like “Oh aren’t you in love?? Isn’t this the best time of your life?” Things like that make me want to gag. The best thing to offer is support and a listening ear and not make anyone feel less than adequate b/c we’re not loving every single second of it. Thanks for airing it out here.

  3. So, when I was in elementary school my brothers called me Lice Lady. Got it in kindergarten and sixth grade. Sixth grade was the worst. We all went to the nurse for a check. If you came back to your class to gather your things, everyone knew you had them.

    God, my head itches now.

    My poor mother. My hair is very thick. I had 100s of stuffed animals in my bed.

    I hate the little buggers. If the boys ever bring them home, I’m shaving heads.

    And the other thing? Yeah, you know where I stand on that. Missed the first 7 months of the twins’ lives being anxious and angry. Stupid stigma.

  4. You are so brave for many reasons. Thank you.

  5. Hi Charity –

    Glad you found a psyche who works for you. Good work persistence pays off.

    take care, Kathy

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