The last two weeks I have been battling something. I didn’t talk about it for days unless it was completely unavoidable. I even kept my mouth shut on social media expect in private messages. I was terrified of judgement. I was afraid people would think I was a bad mom.
We were battling head lice. That is an epic battle in a house of 5 people.
But nobody talks about it. Nobody warns you of all the laundry. All the tears shed by the girls as their heads are combed through again. Nobody tells you how isolated you will feel as you are afraid to go to church or public places for fear of spreading the little buggers.
And nobody told me the anger it would incite inside of me. How I would feel so helpless and mocked as I did everything to get rid of them only to have us find more bugs.
Unfortunately, lice are not the only things mamas don’t talk about.
People don’t talk much about depression and mental illnesses. It is taboo. We want to pretend it is not there, because then it can’t happen to us, right?
This attitude hurts mamas. They bring home a baby through adoption or birth. The happiest time of their lives, right? And yet they are filled with anxiety, anger, rage, sadness. But they don’t talk about it. They don’t find out postpartum depression is very common and treatable. They slug it out alone.
But you don’t have to. There are lots of mamas that know the reality of postpartum depression. I found an amazing community on twitter, #ppdchat. We have moderated chats twice on Mondays (yesterday we were even trending during one of the chats) and the rest of the week there are always mamas if you just tweet with the hashtag.
I also found great support through my midwife. She worked with me for over a year until I found a psychiatrist who could help.
It takes work, which is likely no what a mama wants to hear when already doing so much with a new baby, but just like that baby is worth all that work, so is the mama.
Reach out, get help, talk about it.