Girls That Matter

I love the following song.  It resonates.  It brings comfort.

“One Heartbeat At A Time”

By Steven Curtis Chapman

(AZlyrics.com)

You’re up all night with a screaming baby
You run all day at the speed of life
And every day you feel a little bit less
Like the beautiful woman you are

So you fall into bed when you run out of hours
And you wonder if anything worth doing got done
Oh, maybe you just don’t know
Or maybe you’ve forgotten

You, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch and every smile
Oh, you, you may not see it now
But I believe that time will tell
How you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time

With every “I know you can do it”
Every tear that you kiss away
So many little things that seem to go unnoticed
They’re just like the drops of rain over time
They become a river

And you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch and every smile
Oh, you, you may not see it now
But I believe that time will tell
How you, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time

You’re beautiful
You’re beautiful
How you’re changing the world
You’re changing the world

You, you are changing the world
One little heartbeat at a time
Making history with every touch and every smile
Oh, you, you may not see it now
But I believe that time will tell
How you, you are changing the world
Oh, I believe that you
You are changing the world
One little heartbeat
At a time

And you’re changing the world

 

And then the insidious doubt creeps in.  Is this “all” I’m supposed to be doing?  Raising kids to be the next generation?  Am I raising them to their potential if that is what I focus on in my life?  What about Caitlyn’s loosely formed dreams of being a doctor, or Sue’s plans to be a rock star?  Am I encouraging them to reach for those stars if I tell them my job is to stay home with them?

I was a working mom until last October.  Being home is the best thing for me right now for a number of reasons they will not understand right now.  And my job wasn’t on that mattered.  I didn’t help people, or entertain.  I just pushed paper, or more correctly, e-mailed.  I often wondered what I was really doing and then one day I wasn’t doing it.  So, see, it didn’t matter.

Now I am home.  I am terrified of the coming summer as I have all three home.  The constant demands.  The bickering, the whining.  Ugh.

I am thrilled to be home.  Helping them be stronger readers, going to the park, zoo, water park, doing crafts and having play dates.  What’s not to like?

Such a balance.  Such a reach for laying them a foundation and helping them reach for the stars.  I breathe in and out having no idea what is best for my girls, me being home, me being in the workforce to show them you can have value there too.  I simply don’t know.  Sigh.

 

 

Survive til you Thrive!

3 Responses to Girls That Matter

  1. Kadren Grawburg

    Charity, the most important thing is that whatever you do, you are doing it for Christ. There is value in all “jobs.” Whether it be a stay at home mom or wife, or having a job outside the home. My mom stayed home with us until we were in school. We always knew that they sacrificed a lot so she could be there to take care of us. By doing it to the best of your ability, whatever you do, your children will know that it has value.

  2. This was a really beautiful & honest post. I think we can all relate to this and wonder constantly if we’re being the right role models for our girls. Wondering if we’re being enough no matter what our choices are. Just know that no one size fits all and you are the only mama they have–and they only one they need.

  3. I think it doesn’t matter whether you work or not, you are loving them fiercely and teaching them all they need to know to build that foundation. They will go whichever way they choose to go but they will always know to be good, kind, loving and respectful…and forget strong and determined…just like their momma.

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