It’s Getting Real Here Folks

I have packed on a lot of pounds.

I could list off so many excuses.  And I will concede to one.  Some of the psychiatric medications I was on caused hunger.  I didn’t believe it was the meds, but I recently went off depakote and was shocked at how much my appetite immediately decreased.  I dropped 3 lbs.

I have a lot more of than that to lose.  Like 15 times that.

Ugh.

I hate how I look.  I hate how I feel in this body.  It preys on my mind.  I feel horrible about myself.

And as I mentioned to a friend and my hubby, the worst part of feeling fat and ugly as a parent is the guilt over how you are teaching your children to eat, so now you feel fat, ugly and guilty.

So far my girls are all very healthy and strong,  but if my eating is making me fat, what will it eventually do to them?  I can’t face doing that to them.

The time to change is now.

I have successfully lost weight on weight watchers twice.  The second time I added a lot of exercise and it was phenomenal.

So I got back on the treadmill yesterday and today.  Now on to the food.  The best part of weight watchers is the fact that fruits and veggies are not restricted and there is a huge proliferation of recipes to be had.

Here we go.

I have started a pinterest board with recipes that look good, I am exercising and using the fooducate application on my phone to try and make good choices.

This is my before…

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Please pray, wish good luck to us as we undertake this overhaul.  It will truly be a big change, especially for my picky eaters–Sue and Patrice.  I know they won’t like it, but I have battled my weight since fifth grade and I just can’t set them up to do the same.  I have to be strong and smart for my girls.

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(They weren’t that in to getting their picture taken.  Sigh)

Now off to more menu planning and cleaning this house…anybody want to come over and help with that cleaning part so I can continue to obsess over eating choices???  Anyone…at all???

Survive til you Thrive!

4 Responses to It’s Getting Real Here Folks

  1. Good for you for opening up and finding a voice with respect to this part of your life. I wish you loads of strength and hope you find yourself where you want to be soon! You’re not alone, I’m in that lacking motivation mode and need to get back on track!

  2. What an amazing thing you are doing, not only for yourself, but for your family! I wish you the best on this journey!

  3. I’ve been thinking long and hard about this post and here’s what I want you – and all my beloved friends who post about losing weight – to know:

    You are gorgeous right now. You are perfect right now. There is nothing you need to do, to add or to lose, to be good enough.

    AND. You deserve to take care of yourself. You should eat good food and move your body, and make sure that what you are doing for yourself (and your family) is the best guarantee for healthy, happiness and comfort.

    But I think when you come to his from a place of trying to fix something, trying to do better because something’s wrong, from a place of blame or shame or scarcity, you are not only telling yourself LIES, but you are sabotaging your own goals.

    You are enough. You have been doing fine. And you will do better.

  4. Story is right. You don’t need to “fix” yourself. You DO need to stay healthy so someday you can be the grandma that runs with her grandbabies! Don’t focus as much on weight and inches but on overall health. You are too beautiful to sabotage yourself at the get-go with a negative body image mindset.

    Congrats on getting back on the treadmill and off of one medication!!!! That is something to celebrate!

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