Blabber Mouth

I am an introvert, who talks a lot around people.

I spill my guts

All the while sure they are totally bored

Couldn’t care less

And just want to run away.

I think that is part of the reason I love social media.  Twitter–keeps you to 140 characters, hard to alienate people THAT quickly. Facebook doesn’t limit your number of words, but your fingers get tired of typing and you can see ALL those words on the screen, stop yourself, and delete.  Social media is also cool because at least ONE of my friends will find me funny, right?  One…  Social media is also “safe.”  If someone is a jerk, you just hide their stupid from your timeline.

Writing comes naturally to me.  I started reading early and writing creatively came soon after.  I went on to work on the yearbook in high school and college magazine after that.  I was very proud to get my English and Journalism Degree  Magna Cum Laude and with Department honors<—yes, I am bragging.

But back to writing coming natural.  I can sort my words and thoughts out as I see them on the screen.  During depressive and hypomania cycles, that is nearly impossible to do just in my head.  My brain is so busy with the thoughts of what is going on, why is it going on, how do I escape, and how do I survive, there is very little room for anything else.

Thankfully depressive and hypomania cycles end.  After a month of slogging my way through depression, it lifted this last weekend as if it never existed.  It’s causing lots of thoughts to come out all at once.  I think I said more to my therapist yesterday, in the first 15 minutes of the appointment, than I have said to any of my doctors since October of 2012.

My thoughts made sense, they came out in the neat and tidy packages I like.  I could see the shock on her face as I explained many of my behaviors as I understand and deal with them.  I looked and felt like a different  person.  I was even talking to myself through the whole grocery store–“what is that?”  “what did I need?”  “do I need to take this route?”  “what is that?”  “oh, that’s what it is.”  All the way through the store, out loud.

I’m hoping and praying it is just recovery from the weeks of not being able to think clearly, and not the other end of the bipolar.  Only the coming days will tell. For now?  I have a lot to say.

Do you have something you would like to see me talk about on my blog?  If so, now is the time, to speak up!

Survive til you Thrive!

7 Responses to Blabber Mouth

  1. I’m the same way. I prefer writing because I can pause, because I can take as long as I need to get the words right.

    I bet the quiet weekend contributed in large part to you knowing just what to say yesterday. We really do need time to hear ourselves think.

  2. Writing definitely comes easier for me too. I can usually express myself well through words, stop and re-read, edit, etc. But right now it’s just been hard for me to find the time or motivation to write. But writing is good b/c it allows us to stop and pause and really think about what’s going on. Maybe that’s why I’m avoiding it right now.

    • It does get easier when they are a little older to find time to write. Do not beat yourself up about writing/not writing. It also helps me find the time because our computer is in the kitchen and we homeschool in the kitchen, so when the girls do their quiet work, I’m right there at the computer.

      A couple times when hubby and I have been trying to communicate something big or deep, I write out my thoughts and hand it to him. Kind of weird, but he isn’t surprised anymore.

  3. I love writing because I can get out what doesn’t make sense to me in my head. AND I often have lots to say but don’t know how to say it to people.

  4. Writing helps me figure out what is going on in my mind. Otherwise, it comes out like verbal diarrhea, just rambling words.

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