I am an introvert, who talks a lot around people.
I spill my guts
All the while sure they are totally bored
Couldn’t care less
And just want to run away.
I think that is part of the reason I love social media. Twitter–keeps you to 140 characters, hard to alienate people THAT quickly. Facebook doesn’t limit your number of words, but your fingers get tired of typing and you can see ALL those words on the screen, stop yourself, and delete. Social media is also cool because at least ONE of my friends will find me funny, right? One… Social media is also “safe.” If someone is a jerk, you just hide their stupid from your timeline.
Writing comes naturally to me. I started reading early and writing creatively came soon after. I went on to work on the yearbook in high school and college magazine after that. I was very proud to get my English and Journalism Degree Magna Cum Laude and with Department honors<—yes, I am bragging.
But back to writing coming natural. I can sort my words and thoughts out as I see them on the screen. During depressive and hypomania cycles, that is nearly impossible to do just in my head. My brain is so busy with the thoughts of what is going on, why is it going on, how do I escape, and how do I survive, there is very little room for anything else.
Thankfully depressive and hypomania cycles end. After a month of slogging my way through depression, it lifted this last weekend as if it never existed. It’s causing lots of thoughts to come out all at once. I think I said more to my therapist yesterday, in the first 15 minutes of the appointment, than I have said to any of my doctors since October of 2012.
My thoughts made sense, they came out in the neat and tidy packages I like. I could see the shock on her face as I explained many of my behaviors as I understand and deal with them. I looked and felt like a different person. I was even talking to myself through the whole grocery store–“what is that?” “what did I need?” “do I need to take this route?” “what is that?” “oh, that’s what it is.” All the way through the store, out loud.
I’m hoping and praying it is just recovery from the weeks of not being able to think clearly, and not the other end of the bipolar. Only the coming days will tell. For now? I have a lot to say.
Do you have something you would like to see me talk about on my blog? If so, now is the time, to speak up!Survive til you Thrive!