Holes In the Floor

There is a country song that will forever be in my heart.  I remember hearing it several times in 2003 and 2004.  I liked it.  It was nice.  But it was going to become very important to me after an unpleasant surprise.

The dad who raised me wasn’t at my wedding.  He was taken from us 4 months before in a car accident.  My heart grieved deeply knowing he would never see my wedding ring, he would never see my dress, he would never be at my wedding.  I grieved over and over.

Well, I don’t know if you grieve in one long ribbon of ups and downs, or in a series for hiccups, bringing you right back to the pain.  Whichever way it is, it hurt.  Beyond words.  True agony because he wouldn’t be at my wedding.

Our wedding day was a slightly overcast day in late October.  There were still some color clinging to the trees and there was an amazing man waiting to take my hand.

My daddy wasn’t there.  But this song was:

“Holes In The Floor Of Heaven”

One day shy of eight years old, my grandma passed away
I was a broken hearted little boy, blowing out that birthday cake
how I cried when the sky let go, with a cold and lonesome rain,
mamma smiled, said don’t be sad child, grandma’s watching you todayCause there’s holes in the floor of heaven
and her tears are pouring down,
that’s how you know she’s watching,
wishing she could be here now,
and sometimes if your lonely,
just remember she can see,
there’s holes in the floor of heaven,
and she’s watching over you and me,Seasons come, and seasons go, nothing stays the same
I grew up, fell in love, met a girl who took my name
year by year, we made a life, in this sleepy little town
I thought we’d grow old together, Lord, I sure do miss her nowBut there’s holes in the floor of heaven,
and her tears are pouring down,
that’s how i know she’s watching,
wishing she could be here now,
and sometimes when i’m lonely,
I remember she can see,
there’s holes in the floor of heaven,
and she’s, watching over you and me,Well my little girl is twenty three, I walk her down the aisle
it’s a shame her mom can’t be here now, to see her lovely smile
they throw the rice, i catch her eye, as the rain starts coming down
she takes my hand, says daddy don’t be sad,
cause i know mamma’s watching nowAnd there’s holes in the floor of heaven,
and her tears are pouring down,
that’s how you know she’s watching,
wishing she could be here now,
and sometimes when i’m lonely,
I remember she can see,
yes, there’s holes in the floor of heaven,
and she’s, watching over you and mewatching over you and me
watching over you and me

By Steve Wariner  Found on AZLyrics

I thought about the song, hoped, as I had many times, that my daddy could see me from heaven on my wedding.

We came out of the church, awash in bubbles and claps.  But my daddy wasn’t there…until, yes, it started to rain.  Not hard, not long, just enough to tell me there are “Holes In the Floor of Heaven.” Those few minutes of rain completed my wedding day. I was blessed to have the moment I needed to know my daddy was there, watching.

Today I sit at 9 Father’s Days without my daddy. He wasn’t much for holidays, but that doesn’t make my heart ignore them. It is heavy today with missing him, but so full with my hubby and our girls. So blessed to see love and fun continuing. So blessed to have married a man with many similarities to my dad. It is good. Life is good. As we all know, life is not always easy, and today is one of those days, but I’ll wrap my arms around my hubby and my girls and rejoice in who is here with me.

Much love to all who are experiencing their first Father’s Day without their dad and to those who have celebrated decades of Father’s Days without their loved one. May today bring you comfort and moments of joy.

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