To Give or Not to Give

Ten years ago right now hubby and I were planning our wedding. Bridesmaid dresses were ordered.  We were finalizing invitations and closing in on menus, anticipating a day neither of us ever thought would come.

One thing I didn’t have to do?  Buy my wedding dress.

I was engaged once before.  I found my dream dress.  No one but my mother ever saw it.  Even after the engagement ended, it was still my dream dress.  It almost got donated to Goodwill by the dress shop, but I “happened” to call on the day it was slated to be donated.

My grandma stored my dress after I rescued it.  Now, I had a dress, but no one to stand beside me.

But I couldn’t let it go.

Along came this guy, this great guy.  One thing lead to another and I had an engagement ring on my finger, and his agreement that I should wear my dress, regardless of how it had come into my possession.

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I love my dress.  So very much.  Wearing it next to my wonderful hubby was more precious than I could have ever imagined.

After our wonderful day, I began researching how to get it cleaned and cared for in the best way possible.  I found a place to take it.  They cleaned it and boxed it for me.

Now it sits, in the back of a closet.  Not discarded, but rarely thought of.  Hubby has asked what I want to do with it.  I always brush it off.  “I don’t know.  Do you think one of the girls will want to wear it?”

Once again, the conversation is abandoned.

So it sits.

Recently a tweet caught my eye.  It was about donating wedding gowns so they can be made into gowns for babies who die before or at birth, or who never leave the hospital to go home with those who love them.

My heart feels a tug.

What about my dress?

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Can I bear to give it away?

Sue, in the wonderful voice of a 6 year old, declares she wants to wear my dress…but she has so many years.  Won’t she want to pick her own? She did fall in love with the same part I did at the very beginning…that bead work on the bodice.  It still makes my breath catch in my throat.

I’ve polled Facebook.  I’ve polled Twitter.  Everyone’s experience with their wedding is so personal, there is no magic answer for the dress.  I look at my Sue, whom I hold in my arms every day, and my heart sees the mamas laying their babies to rest.  My gown may or may not adorn Sue on her day.  Could it, should it, rather bring just a bit of comfort to mamas and their hurting hearts?  Do I hold on, or let go?

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Survive til you Thrive!

2 Responses to To Give or Not to Give

  1. Oh your dress is exquisite. I struggle with this as well. Do I keep it or do I donate it? I don’t know the answer.

  2. I made my dress. It turned out ok, but I’ve never been too attached to it, but I can understand how some women get sentimentally attached to theirs. I don’t think there is a “right” answer to this one. Both choices can be good and ok!

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