Sue’s long awaited day came this week. She turned 7 on Friday. I kid you not she has been counting down to her birthday since her last birthday.
We went roller skating. Okay, daddy and the girls went roller skating, I worked on Loom Knitting (finished a hat and started a baby cocoon). I am not exactly safe on roller skates. And it is very scary to me.
She chose Subway for dinner and then home to unwrap presents!!!! It was a good day. It has been a joy to have our spunky, feisty Sue in our lives these last 7 years!
Thank you Lord for our middle girl.
Some days even considering being brave is hard. But brave isn’t in the grandiose. It is in the simple, in the every day in the beauty.
Waking every day to do it all again
Taking the medications you hate to be the person you don’t recognize anymore
Stuffing down the rage to comfort your child over her boo boo
It is getting on the treadmill to run when you want to stew with your dismal thoughts
Listening to family disparage mental health and not coming unglued
Or coming unglued in such a way that you teach them something
Reaching out to those who will help you survive another hour
Watching funny YouTube videos in order to get the strength to go another round with your mind
Brave is in the little, it is in the every day
Know you are brave. Believe it. Embrace it
Thank you Lord for another year. Some days have been easy. Most have been hard, but the fact that I am typing this means I got through every moment I was sure I couldn’t survive.
Thank you for little girls who fall fast asleep and keep holding on to the iPad.
Thank you for creative girls that see a picture of The Mona Lisa and say, “I can do that” and do.
Thank you for a friend passing on this book and inviting me to pray through the Psalms. It has brought me to a place of prayer without feeling guilty for only asking you for things as if you were Santa Claus.
Thank you for this smile I get from running. Many days are hard, but no matter what, if I get my exercise on, I get to smile. Thank you for the weight I have started to lose and the inches that are gone.
Thank you for the beautiful seasons of color you give us.
Thank you for the opportunity to reach others who are struggling through Project Semicolon.
And thank you for the husband and children you have given me. They bring me through so much.
Finally, thank you Lord for your faithfulness through the years. It has been an amazing 30 year ride since I first invited you in to my life. Many, many times I have doubted you, but you never gave up on me. Thank you for carrying me.
*I originally posted this as a status update yesterday. I asked the mentioned people if it would be okay to post it on my blog as well. Both gave their assent. I set about editing what I had originally written to make it more–but I quickly realized I was editing for the sake of editing and that is never a good idea.
I’m going to say something about a divisive issue and then run away. I don’t want any negative comments. Only ones that build others, and the world, up.
Anyway–I don’t understand all of the factors or issues [of America’s race difficulties], but I know I have mama friends who are afraid for their brown baby boys. They are afraid of the world their children will face. They are afraid their boys will be seen as less than human because of their skin color.
And that is wrong. It breaks my heart to look at A’Driane and Leelah’s beautiful sweet boys and think of the fear their mamas carry. Why in the world can’t we be people? Just people. Why can’t we go about life loving and knowing people as– people.
I want a day that the mamas don’t have to tell their boys they are more likely to be arrested or harassed than their white friends, when they don’t have to watch the news in terror.
Please Lord, bring that day. Use me today and everyday to bring that day, to teach my girls about now, and that day. I am stepping into something I know nothing about in order to be a mama, just a mama with my lovely fellow mamas.
You may have read my whining about my stomach issues.
I had tests done.
I went to the hospital.
I got good drugs.
I had more tests.
I took medicine.
I had allergy testing done.
I lived for weeks on a liquid diet.
I got no answers.
I had no relief.
But I had a niggling thought as to what it might be. No, oh no, it couldn’t be that. I would never be able to give that up. That couldn’t be what it would take for me to feel better. The thought continued to bug me. I continued to tell it to shut it.
Back and forth. Over and over.
I finally couldn’t deny the possibility…
Processed sugar appears to be my enemy. You know, yummy sweets. Candy. Cake. Cookies. Many beloved foods.
Now I know there are other contributing factors. My medications, abdominal migraines. Those are a bit out of my control. But this one–as hard as it might be, I have to at least try.
Last night was a bad night with my stomach…I had eaten a pop tart and a kids mini twizzlers pack. I paid the price. It was not pretty.
My motivation today has been pretty solid. I have not strayed. Right now, I am eating baby carrots while one of my girls has a yummy pop tart. The smell might be about to make me crazy, but the stomach issues feel like they are going to kill me, so…here goes!
My girls were introduced to something on YouTube called Kid Snippets. They would watch them for hours if left to their own devices. Which they are not. I have never heard them giggle so much or be so engrossed in something. And that is saying a lot as my kids can get very focused on media.
I have watched a few of these episodes, and they are cute, but they aren’t quite as fascinating to me.
I will leave you with an example so you can decide for yourself.
I am linking up with Love, Jaime for Stream of Consciousness Sunday…so welcome to my brain…
It has been pretty dark in my thoughts lately. There are thoughts I am struggling with for the first time in a couple years. Thankfully I have my girls, my hubby, my cousin and an amazing tribe of friends who remind me I am loved and have value.
And I have running!!! Praise the Lord my legs and muscles are cooperating to let me pound out a mile or two at a time. I watch Disney movies while I am on the treadmill. My hubby finds it funny but I like them…and invariably my girls come down at some point and join me so I might as well have something they can watch too. Otherwise, they want to talk to me and my running isn’t quite easy enough that I want to chitchat much 🙂
Have a great Sunday! It is time to get ready for church here.
A few weeks ago I was over the moon thrilled to find out I had won four tickets to Pinkalicious the Musical from a giveaway at Mrs. Weber’s Neighborhood.
It was a gift I wanted to give my girls, but just didn’t see a way. I have entered quite a few giveaways and always hope to win. This is the first one I prayed about and cried over when Lauren announced I had won.
The girls, especially Patrice, had been extra grumpy all afternoon. Patrice’s attitude made me wish I could leave her home, but I thought leaving a 4 year old alone would be a poor parenting decision, so instead, I let her crawl around on the floor at the show before it started.
What? She just got an amazing dose of “build the kids’ immune system.” Free gift with every ticket.
The older girls were antsy because I made us get there so early, but they were troopers.
Then the show started. The girls were quite entranced. Thankfully, that included Patrice.
What’s not to love? There were cupcakes, a girl who turned pink because she ate too many pink cupcakes, there were fairies, and there was a lesson about not overeating sweets and making sure to eat green foods too!
It was a marvelous rendering of a very cute book character. I am so glad we went!!
And the frosting on our night? I got to hug Lauren, the woman behind Mrs. Webers Neighborhood!
I have mentioned a few times that I blog over at Project Semicolon. I am pleased to lend my words on Tuesday and Friday to this amazing site. Our goal at Project Semicolon is to encourage, love, and inspire.
Today I am over there talking about the latest round of depression. It came out of nowhere and has me trying to catch my breath between each wave of despair.
If you want to hear more about where I am, please visit me over at Project Semicolon and read Slam Bam.