Have I mentioned that I live with Bipolar Disorder? And that the last few months were bad? Super bad? Insanely bad?
Well I do and they were.
I survived, the last few days have been nice, really nice. I can breathe in and out, I can function. I want to live.
I got through it with a lot of different coping mechanisms. The main one being the treadmill. I was on it several times a day almost every day.
Now? I don’t want to go anywhere near it. I haven’t set foot on it in over a week. It’s not like the treadmill caused the depression, so why don’t I want to walk down there on it?
I also did a ton of loom knitting, making 5 hats in the last month to get through. The rhythm and accomplishment of making hat after hat made the hours I spent hiding from the world seem acceptable–okay.
How many hats have I worked on this week? None. Not one stitch. My hands are itching to, but when it comes to actually picking it up–nope.
There’s a literal barrier there. It is as real as any moment of the depression. My mind and body say no, don’t you dare go there.
So I hold off, waiting, hoping the feeling lifts, without the depression returning.
I really like making hats!
Do you have anything you avoid when in depression or out of depression? Do you know why? Or am I just totally nuts? 😉
Survive til you Thrive!