But I don’t think that is going to happen tonight. Things are hard. Really, really hard. I had hoped I was just looking at a blip, but instead I am finding this to be a deep descent into darkness, requiring extra medications, extra help from friends, extra boundaries, extra love.
I need all these things when I deserve them least. I am not very lovable right now. I am very self absorbed and needy. I don’t have a lot to give–just my fear and darkness.
I am taking extra as needed medication to get through each day which is making me very lifeless, quite expressionlist. It is all very frustrating, but it is where I am.Survive til you Thrive!