A few weeks ago, I read an article about actress and singer Demi Lovato and her struggles with Bipolar Disorder. In the article she said something to the affect of wishing people understood that Bipolar is much more than being too happy or depressed.
It is so much more.
It is the mind playing tricks on you, telling you you are worthless, useless and your family would be better off without you–that if you would just end it all now, they could move on and have the life they deserve. It is not just these thoughts making you sad, but these thoughts coming fast and hard, wearing you down, yelling in your head until they seem to be the only truth there is.
It is the mind playing tricks on you, telling you that you are beautiful telling you that everyone is in awe of your confidence, that you should take on just one more project, and another, and another. Again, fast and loud. It makes you want to spin in circles…until it makes you angry, very, very angry. The sounds get too loud, the colors are too bright. And finally, or sometimes as a combo, comes the anxiety that exacerbates the anger, grows the fear, causing the suffocating frantic feeling.
Both poles, moving faster and faster. Both driving you to a point of desperation. Both telling you you need to escape but there is no place to go. Both putting the fight or flight feeling on red alert. Both ripping at you. Both causing constant noise in your head. Both destroying you bit by bit, every day.
Both.Survive til you Thrive!