Bipolar Disorder is Stupid

Catchy title, huh?  It’s about all I have right now.

The last few days have been a blur of too many thoughts, extra medication, and too much sleep.  I am so frustrated to be back here again.  Fighting the same demons, the same evil thoughts.  I am tired and the battle has just begun.

I am already tired of platitudes.  I understand it is because people don’t know what to do or say, but telling me to be happy and it will change my thoughts, yeah no.  Bipolar doesn’t work that way.

Bipolar chips away at your thought processes until there is either only one thought in your mind, or hundreds of thoughts going much too quickly to be anything constructive.

I can’t stand all the thoughts so I take an extra Xanax (it’s okay to do that, it is prescribed for as needed) and I become so tired and move so slow.  My thoughts don’t really slow down, but I become too tired to try and sort them out.

And sometimes, that is what I need–that is enough.

Survive til you Thrive!

3 Responses to Bipolar Disorder is Stupid

  1. Sending you love and strength my friend. Thinking of you.

  2. I just discovered your blog from the Semicolon Project site. THANK YOU for writing about your journey with Bipolar. I can relate to so much of what you write. “think happy thoughts, get out and be around people…” blah, blah, blah….. we’ve heard it all before, but people who have not experienced it or had someone close to them experience it do not truly understand we cannot just be happy and make it go away. We can work on it with prayer, medication, exercise, and clean eating, but it’s a struggle. You’re in my prayers!!

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