All to the Glory of God–that is why I blog and share my story so openly. I want others to know it is possible to live and parent well with mental illness. This, by necessity, causes my posts to be brutally honest, and that is not always pretty.
I have always endeavored to live by the verse 2 Corinthians 12:9
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
This song is in my running playlist. It gets me every.single.time. Because it IS in my RUNNING playlist.
I was not a strong, healthy child. I was not coordinated. I was not tough or competitive. I was not encouraged to become any of those things. Then, at the age of 15, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS). Walking became a day-to-day question. I landed in a wheelchair. All those words spoken about how I couldn’t do things seemed to be spot on. I couldn’t do anything.
Then a true miracle happened just over 11 years ago. I went into remission from the MS. I have now been in remission from the MS almost as long as I dealt with active disease. Remission. That is a beautiful word.
Medical Definition of remission. : a state or period during which the symptoms of a disease are abated <cancer in remission after treatment>—compare arrest, cure 1, intermission. (Mirriam-Webster Dictionary)
A state or period during which the symptoms of a disease are abated. In the midst of having babies, working, keeping up with life, I almost didn’t notice the remission. It was just there and I almost took it for granted.
Then, after Sue was born, I started exercising and running. All the sudden the value of remission and what it really meant, and was, hit me. Here I was, the girl who wasn’t even supposed to be able to keep up with a household without bringing in help, according to the doctors, past her 20s, was in actuality, working, raising two kids, kind of keeping up with a house (as much as I ever had), and now, learning how to run.
Running. Me running. The girl who had always been told she couldn’t do things. That she wasn’t strong enough for what other kids did, running.
Every step I take, whether it is fast or just barely moving, I do to the glory of God. He is the one who saw fit to give me back my balance, to give me back my strength, to give me back my legs, to give me back so much more than I could ever ask or imagine.
Ephesians 3:20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us
He has given me so much. And I am thankful for all of it. And now I am dreaming big. I am dreaming of picking up my pace so I can run with some other ladies in a relay (me??) and even bigger yet, I am dreaming of running a 1/2 marathon in September. I have even gone so far as to register for the race. I have put my money where my mouth is and in 245 days I will put my feet where my heart never dreamed they would be.
It’s a long journey, getting from those first running steps with the Wii fit until today, but today found me braving the elements like a good Michigander and getting in a few miles. I had to do some tiptoeing through ice, but it felt great to be outside.