Roza bil halib. Rice in milk. Simple, yet lovely. It is an Arabic dish a dear friend of mine shared with me. The closest dish to compare it to in the American diet is rice pudding. Roza bil halib is not quite as sweet and has a more milky consistency; it is marvelous.
Roza bil halib, which I am probably doing a terrible injustice to in my spelling attempt, is sweet and simple. It is tasty. It is comfort.
There are a lot of days I find myself looking for comfort. I find it in my routine, in my running, in the rhythm of loom knitting, in my prayers. And now in Roza bil halib.
I seek comfort out very intentionally. Sometimes I become frantic in my search.
It didn’t use to be that way. I used to be much more able to go with the flow. Take the ups and downs of life.
Then Patrice was born. And with her, the anxiety, the depression, the mania, the postpartum psychosis, the bipolar disorder.
All of the sudden, life became very much about finding comfort, finding safe. I also found others that understood me, who had a similar journey, and above all I found help. It wasn’t a quick journey, nor was it easy, but I made it one step at a time. There are days I am still fighting to make it, but I use my knowledge, skill, and comfort to get to another day.
And you can too.
If you find yourself fighting suicidal, or even “just” scary thoughts, reach out. The Suicide Prevention Hotline is one place you can find help. 1-800-273-8255.
If you recently had, or adopted, a baby you can find help at Postpartum Support International . Reach out, no matter how hard or pointless it seems. There is help, there is hope.
Survive til you Thrive!