I love the change of seasons here. It is probably my favorite thing about Michigan. It is nice to always have a different feel to look forward to…and with it a change in scenery. And fall does scenery the best!!
And then, 7 years ago, fall got complicated.
Patrice was born. Good. Postpartum depression, anxiety, and psychosis showed up. Bad, very, very bad.`
Suddenly, fall became a hard time, a very hard time. Seven years ago this week I ended up in the hospital for the first time when the mania (cue bipolar disorder showing up) tried to destroy me.
And ever since, fall has been hard. I find myself battling a major depressive episode each fall. It is a time of just working to survive. So my time I have always loved, becomes instead a season of hunkering down and praying for my life.
But this year. This year. It has been hard. I have been working my self care and medication tools hard and using the insane level of busyness of family life to my advantage–distractions galore!!
And it has worked!! I was able to enjoy my wedding anniversary this week. I am laughing real laughs. I am still nervous as October 28th comes around, but I am hopeful for the first time in 7 years that I just might be okay.
Hope is a beautiful thing!
Survive til you Thrive!
