Category Archives: church

Where Is My Footing

Posted on June 12, 2024 | Leave a comment

I am not the most sure-footed person. My vision and some health history make me feel pretty unsteady at times. I am not a fan of stairs. I don’t walk on rocks if I can help it. Striding on sand is not my thing. I am slow and careful.

Except in my faith. I have always had a home in the church since I first started attending at age 4. I jumped right into the Christian subculture. I went to Christian schools for part of my growing up and for college. I went to purity conferences and Christian concerts as a teen. Church camp from age 9-16. Went back as a counselor in college for a couple of years. I even traveled with a Christian music group as their interpreter for the Deaf after college.

What I am trying to communicate is, I wasn’t just a Christian, it was my culture, how I voted, and how I viewed the world.

It is still how I view the world. I am first and foremost a Christian.

But somehow I left the culture. I left that world.

I still attend church and I still love to tell people about Jesus. I am still a Christian who homeschools my girls.

And yet, I am not at home in the culture.

By and large, if people in the community knew how I voted I am afraid I would be looked down upon. Don’t get me wrong, I am not necessarily quiet about my views so many know, and most who do still love me, but I keep quiet a lot in order to keep the peace. My poor husband and kids get an earful but I really do bite my tongue.

It is hurting me.

I want to scream, if you disagree so much with someone for their life and choices that you villify them, how will they believe you if you say Jesus loves them?

https://www.bible.com/bible/59/1JN.4.ESV

If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. I John 4:20.

One version of the Bible implied this only meant other Christians but I disagree that is what was meant here. If you want to really speak into someone’s life, you must sometimes say hard things, you sometimes challenge someone. Who do we accept this kind of talk from? Someone we don’t know? No. Someone who we know dislikes or disapproves of us? Surely not. Like never. Does that mean I have to agree with everything someone says in order to talk about Jesus, no, but it is highly likely that if I decide to talk about Jesus, I better have chosen to be authentic, loving, and involved beforehand.

Does this mean I am only loving and nice if I want to talk about Jesus? No. That’s not authentic or invested either. I should be loving and nice regardless.

Honestly, I can only take care of my own behaviors regardless of what I think someone else should be or do. My job is me.

Unfortunately, some of those claiming to follow the same Jesus I do make it hard to walk in peace. I spend more time explaining the hatred away that those I want to talk about Jesus with see than I do talking about the truth of Jesus. And I am tired of it.

And I am out of step with so much of what I used to think it meant to be a Christian. And that leaves me feeling like I am walking down a set of stairs to the rocks below and right into the sand…uncomfortable and unsteady.

I don’t like it.

I find myself less and less interested in hanging out with other Christians. I told my hubby that and he said, “But what about all the swear words and the foul language?” Right now I would rather deal with that.

I would rather sit with the sinners than the saints.

Snow–We Had Snow Saturday

Posted on October 31, 2016 | Leave a comment

Okay, so it was 50+ degrees and lovely outside, but we still had snow.

Our church hosted their second trunk or treat this year. Last year we were overwhelmed at the response and everyone was out of candy 20 minutes into the deal. This year, I decided to be prepared. I started buying large bags of candy 6 weeks ahead of time. We went through 12 of those bags over the two hours of the event. We were left with just 2 bags.

Last year we did a Noah’s Ark, jungle, animal theme. This year, we did a winter wonderland, candy, Olaf, pizza theme.

Olaf was made of 1 beanbag wrapped in a piece of white curtain, one layer was stuffed with quilting fluff, and the top was freehand drawn by my husband on posterboard. Our falling snow was made up of hand cut snowflakes stapled to thick yarn. The lollipops were built and painted by my husband and wrapped in colored cellophane. The pizzas (don’t ask, I don’t know) were made out of construction paper. The girls were live snowflakes–draped in white curtain panels with posterboard snowflakes on their front and back.

My hubby and girls were the creative forces behind this project. I am so proud of their work and their great attitudes. I am not creative, but I have lots of craft supplies, so I provided those.

We had a great time passing out candy to 1000+ people!!

Palm Sunday Our Style

Posted on March 31, 2015 | Leave a comment

Too many of us were sick Palm Sunday to go to church–so we had our own service with our own craft.

Challenge: Beating a Dead Horse

Posted on March 27, 2015 | 4 comments

Challenge. I write about it pretty regularly.

The challenges of Bipolar Disorder.

The challenges of Anxiety Disorder.

The challenges of homeschooling.

The challenges of parenting.

The challenges of Christian living.

The challenges of helping others.

See, I write about it a lot. I kind of feel like I am beating a dead horse by writing about it again.

Blame it on Mama Kats. It’s her writing prompt.

Today I want to write about the challenges of having a burden for others.

Life is complicated enough. Wouldn’t it be nice to just curl up in our own lives and not bother with the world out there? Yes, it would be, but most of us are not wired that way. We are made to care. We are made to love and get involved.

Over the last few months I have gotten a little involved with human trafficking in our area. My husband and I help out, when we can, with BRANCH: A New Beginning Ministries.–you can learn more about our involvement here. Last night I went to a local meeting as part of the Michigan Abolitionist Project and learned about another ministry: All Worthy of Love.

I listened to them speak about their ministry with primarily girls and ladies on the street and their efforts to reach out and help them by giving lunches and hygiene kits. I cried as I heard the statistics of how many people, 30 million worldwide, are trafficked each year, I drew back in revulsion as I listened to them list suburban areas around me where girls are being brought into bondage by coercion, lies, tricks, any manner of method to bring these girls onto the streets where they are required to make money night after night for someone else, money they never see. These are cities very near me–cities I have always perceived as safe for my three girls.

And my heart broke. My heart begged me, challenged me to find a way to help, a way to get involved.

First step: I helped back hygiene kits at the close of the meeting last night.

Second step: I signed up to pray for them as they go out each week to reach the girls, boys, men and women caught in slavery.

Third step: I want to start collecting items for hygiene kits. I want to collect through sales and through those I know who end up with lots of these items due to traveling.

I can’t change the world. I can’t save all those caught in slavery, but I can reach out in small ways to help be part of the solution.

Can I challenge you to be part of the solution too?

Please check out their websites and blogs to see how you can get involved as well, with either ministry. Or look for similar organizations where you live, because unfortunately, there is a great need all around the world. Your community, your area, is not immune. None are.

4 Comments

Posted in church, Mama Kats, praying, special projects

Sue’s Big Moment

Posted on October 2, 2012 | 5 comments

We are Christians. And in our religious beliefs and traditions, one comes to their point of salvation in their own time and place. But it is absolutely necessary for each person to confess their sins to Jesus and ask Him to cleanse them from sins and come live in their heart.

Last night, all the kids and daddy were playing in the living room. As only kids can do, they managed to each be doing something totally different–inches away from each other. And I hear Sue saying “I’m pretending to be baptised so Jesus can wash away my sin.

This was a moment I couldn’t miss. Facebook could wait.

I headed into the living room. “Sue, come here. Do you know what it means to have Jesus wash away your sins? Do you want to talk about it?”

“Yes.”

So in simple, clear terms, I explained sin and forgiveness and asked her if she wanted to pray to ask Jesus into her heart.

She did.

She prayed.

You could hear the truth ring through.

This mama is so proud and happy.

Sue has Jesus in her heart.

5 Comments

Posted in church, Faith, Sue

Deeply Personal

Posted on July 5, 2012 | 39 comments

I am about to write a post that may be the most personal I have yet to publish.

I picture a huge auditorium of women. They are of every age, culture and church denomination. There are thousands of them. They are all there for one purpose and reason–to learn about and worship God.

I’ve been there, I have gone to the conferences and concerts many times. And enjoyed them. But today, this day? I can’t imagine going, or wanting to go, ever again.

Something has happened over the last few months. I have gone from ambivalent about my faith, to just not caring.

I know what I believe to be true. I know Jesus is the Son of God, born to the Virgin Mary, lived a sinless life, died on the cross for our sins and rose again on the third day. I know it to be true, I just don’t care. And I don’t care if I ever care again.

I have believed this since I first went to church at age 4. I went to a Christian liberal arts college and was a missionary in my 20s. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have questioned God about things, but I have always cared about my faith; my response has always been to pray. This, this is different. I don’t even know what it is.

I am not mad at God. I am just done. Going to church is so hard. Last time I went I had to take anxiety medication to get through it. Some of it is because of a crowd, but some of it is this serious disconnect between what I believe and what I care about.

There is no feeling left. There is no sense of direction. There is no hunger for the things of God.

Verses I have known and found comfort in seem hollow and empty. I know all the right things to say, they just fall flat. Now, more times than not, I find my comfort in music like P!nk, Cold Play and Adelle, not in Christian artists like Wayne Watson, Steven Curtis Chapman and Mikes Chair.

Will I ever find myself drawn back to the Bible? To prayer? To church? To large conferences? To concerts?

More importantly, will I feel a tug toward the Lord, toward His truth? Will my walk with the Lord come out of this intact? What will it look like if it does? What will I look like?

I have no answers. I am quite rudderless right now. I put one foot in front of the other to walk, but don’t know where I am headed or if I want to go there.

Linked up for Pour Your Heart Out.

39 Comments

Posted in church, Faith

Working out the Struggle

Posted on April 15, 2012 | 5 comments

I know you’ve heard the truth that God has set you free

But you think you’re the one that grace could never reach

So you just keep asking, Oh, what everybody’s asking

[Chorus] Am I more than flesh and bone?

Am I really something beautiful?

Yeah, I want to believe,

I want to believe that I’m not just some wandering soul

That you don’t see and you don’t know Yeah,

I want to believe,

Jesus help me believe

That I am someone worth dying for

From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/m/mikeschair-lyrics/someone-worth-dying-for-lyrics.html

This song was “dedicated” to me by a college friend after I wrote this post about being worth fighting the depression for, but admitting I wasn’t sure Christ came to die for me.

It is aptly named “Someone Worth Dying For” I love the truth of this song, but must admit I am still grappling with it; I am also working through a lot of other aspects of my faith and personality.

I’ve put a lot of my struggle out here on my blog, but at the same time, there is much I cannot verbalize or express. It’s hard to have all the words, btu this I know to be true…

God is okay with my struggle. He knew, before my mother found out she was expecting a baby, what my path would lead to. He knew about the Multiple Sclerosis, depression and other issues that have arisen. And, glory to God, He knows the outcome, though I do not.

In what areas are you struggling? Where is your faith in the struggle? How can I pray for you today, and in the future?

5 Comments

Posted in church, depression, Faith, hope, Postpartum Depression, praying

Word for the Year

Posted on January 4, 2012 | 7 comments

I have been seeing various posts about a word for the year. And I am working on jumping on board…I am going to link over here. My word is…

Discipline

I might hate myself for choosing that…but honestly, having a plan and checking things off brings me a great deal of peace.

As of late, I have been doing fitness challenges that spell out what to do by when. I love the motivation it gives me and the sense of accomplishment. I have even recently added a 1/2 marathon that I will do May 20.

I am finding accomplishment in following an eating plan through weight watchers. I feel good making quality decisions. It helps me make sense of my choices.

But the third area is the most important. Our pastor challenged us Sunday to read through the Bible from beginning to end this year. I can see this one being the hardest to do…though I did get caught up tonight. But that is the thing, I already had to get caught up. That makes me a little sad.

Yet should it? I am not setting out to be perfect, I am setting out to discipline myself so that I might improve…never reaching perfect, but getting closer.

1 Corinthians 9:27

but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified. (New American Standard Bible)

Won’t you join me this year as I grow in discipline?

…

7 Comments

Posted in beginning, church, Faith

Church Fun for Try Something New Thursday

Posted on June 30, 2011 | 1 comment

Every June our church has a huge Vacation Bible School outreach to the community and then has a big all church picnic on the Sunday afterward. We have never gone but this year we decided to check it out. I am so glad we did!