Category Archives: church

Sue’s Big Moment

We are Christians.  And in our religious beliefs and traditions, one comes to their point of salvation in their own time and place.  But it is absolutely necessary for each person to confess their sins to Jesus and ask Him to cleanse them from sins and come live in their heart.

Last night, all the kids and daddy were playing in the living room.  As only kids can do, they managed to each be doing something totally different–inches away from each other.  And I hear Sue saying “I’m pretending to be baptised so Jesus can wash away my sin.

This was a moment I couldn’t miss.  Facebook could wait.

I headed into the living room.  “Sue, come here.  Do you know what it means to have Jesus wash away your sins?  Do you want to talk about it?”

“Yes.”

So in simple, clear terms, I explained sin and forgiveness and asked her if she wanted to pray to ask Jesus into her heart.

She did.

She prayed.

You could hear the truth ring through.

This mama is so proud and happy.

Sue has Jesus in her heart.

Deeply Personal

I am about to write a post that may be the most personal I have yet to publish.

I picture a huge auditorium of women. They are of every age, culture and church denomination. There are thousands of them.  They are all there for one purpose and reason–to learn about and worship God. 

I’ve been there, I have gone to the conferences and concerts many times. And enjoyed them. But today, this day? I can’t imagine going, or wanting to go, ever again.

Something has happened over the last few months. I have gone from ambivalent about my faith, to just not caring.

I know what I believe to be true. I know Jesus is the Son of God, born to the Virgin Mary, lived a sinless life, died on the cross for our sins and rose again on the third day. I know it to be true, I just don’t care. And I don’t care if I ever care again.

I have believed this since I first went to church at age 4. I went to a Christian liberal arts college and was a missionary in my 20s. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have questioned God about things, but I have always cared about my faith; my response has always been to pray. This, this is different. I don’t even know what it is.

I am not mad at God. I am just done. Going to church is so hard. Last time I went I had to take anxiety medication to get through it. Some of it is because of a crowd, but some of it is this serious disconnect between what I believe and what I care about.

There is no feeling left. There is no sense of direction. There is no hunger for the things of God.

Verses I have known and found comfort in seem hollow and empty. I know all the right things to say, they just fall flat. Now, more times than not, I find my comfort in music like P!nk, Cold Play and Adelle, not in Christian artists like Wayne Watson, Steven Curtis Chapman and Mikes Chair.

Will I ever find myself drawn back to the Bible? To prayer? To church? To large conferences? To concerts?

More importantly, will I feel a tug toward the Lord, toward His truth? Will my walk with the Lord come out of this intact? What will it look like if it does? What will I look like?

I have no answers. I am quite rudderless right now. I put one foot in front of the other to walk, but don’t know where I am headed or if I want to go there.

 

 

 

Linked up for Pour Your Heart Out.

Working out the Struggle

I know you’ve heard the truth that God has set you free

But you think you’re the one that grace could never reach

So you just keep asking, Oh, what everybody’s asking

[Chorus] Am I more than flesh and bone?

Am I really something beautiful?

Yeah, I want to believe,

I want to believe that I’m not just some wandering soul

That you don’t see and you don’t know Yeah,

I want to believe,

Jesus help me believe

That I am someone worth dying for

From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/m/mikeschair-lyrics/someone-worth-dying-for-lyrics.html

This song was “dedicated” to me by a college friend after I wrote this post  about  being worth fighting the depression for, but admitting I wasn’t sure  Christ came to die for me.

It is aptly named “Someone Worth Dying For”  I love the truth of this song, but must admit I am still grappling with it; I am also working through a lot of other aspects of my faith and personality.

I’ve put a lot of my struggle out here on my blog, but at the same time, there is much I cannot verbalize or express.  It’s hard to have all the words, btu this I know to be true…

God is okay with my struggle.  He knew, before my mother found out she was expecting a baby, what my path would lead to.  He knew about the Multiple Sclerosis, depression and other issues that have arisen.  And, glory to God, He knows the outcome, though I do not.

In what areas are you struggling?  Where is your faith in the struggle?  How can I pray for you today, and in the future?

Word for the Year

I have been seeing various posts about a word for the year.  And I am working on jumping on board…I am going to link over here.  My word is…

Discipline

I might hate myself for choosing that…but honestly, having a plan and checking things off brings me a great deal of peace.

As of late, I have been doing fitness challenges that spell out what to do by when.  I love the motivation it gives me and the sense of accomplishment.  I have even recently added a 1/2 marathon that I will do May 20.

I am finding accomplishment in following an eating plan through weight watchers.  I feel good making quality decisions.  It helps me make sense of my choices.

But the third area is the most important.  Our pastor challenged us Sunday to read through the Bible from beginning to end this  year.  I can see this one being the hardest to do…though I did get caught up tonight.  But that is the thing, I already had to get caught up.  That makes me a little sad. 

Yet should it?  I am not setting out to be perfect, I am setting out to discipline myself so that I might improve…never reaching perfect, but getting closer.

1 Corinthians 9:27

but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified.     (New American Standard Bible)

Won’t you join me this year as I grow in discipline?

Church Fun for Try Something New Thursday

Every June our church has a huge Vacation Bible School outreach to the community and then has a big all church picnic on the Sunday afterward.  We have never gone but this year we decided to check it out.  I am so glad we did!

I am so glad our friends asked us to stay.  The girls had a blast!!!

What have you tried new lately?

Link up and share!