Category Archives: exercise

Ups and Downs

Posted on November 11, 2018 | Leave a comment

So less than a month ago I had probably my best run ever when I completed the Detroit International Half Marathon. It was emotionally, mentally, and physically the most rewarding running experience I have had.

And yet, Today, on November 11, I have run exactly 3 times since. The first week was to rest and let my body recover, but since then, I can find a billion other things to do and even when I have a nice chunk of time to run–I don’t wanna.

I don’t wanna deal with those first minutes of running in the cold. I don’t wanna pull out the layers to get dressed to run. I don’t wanna have to take a shower afterward because I am all sweaty. I don’t wanna.

This is not a new phenomenon. It has happened before, but I thought this time I had learned my lesson, I would not slack off…but here I am blogging instead of getting my butt out there. So soon, my daylight will be gone and I will have to run inside, so then I will whine about how much I hate running on the treadmill.

Yes, I have a headache, I might very well have one all week thanks to this grey, sinus aggravating weather, but the thing is, I know after a few minutes out there, the extra blood flow will give me a break from my headache.

I even have an audiobook I would love to listen to and lots of Arabic words to practice.

I really need to just get out there.

Waa.

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Posted in exercise, running

The Shirt I Don’t Deserve

Posted on December 22, 2017 | Leave a comment

An amazing friend helped me out when she accidentally gave me a gift I needed. The scale has been a jerk for a year plus. Despite my sometimes good efforts and sometimes blah efforts. Even with my best efforts, the dang scale has been going up lately. We are tweaking meds, etc, but we’ll see…sigh.

And I have been frustrated and freaking jealous of people seeing results as they change their diet and exercise. So jealous. To the point of tears.

And today.

(my daughter swears this picture is clear, but it looks blurry to me…Guess I don’t pay my photographer enough)

Let me digress just a bit. A year ago, my husband noticed a trend in my resting heart rate. It was tanking. It had always been around 70 and all the sudden it was consistently in the upper 40s, low 50s. There was some panic. I went to a cardiologist. He did a full battery of tests and declared my heart VERY healthy and said I was not only cleared to run, but that I would likely see my heart rate continue to lower as my fitness improved.

In the past year, I have continued to run quite faithfully, even doing my first half marathon back in September.

And a new trend has shown up…my resting heart rate is a new solid 40. Just as he said it would, it has gone down even further.

Today I was even turned away from giving blood because my heart rate is too low. In essence, my heart is too healthy.

For the first time in my life, part of me is really, really healthy. And I am doing the work to get it there. That beats a number on the scale any day.

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Posted in exercise, running

Not a Runner’s Blog

Posted on November 24, 2017 | Leave a comment

I have a race tomorrow. My first race since the half marathon in September. Tomorrow’s race is a 5k–3.1 miles. The distance is not a worry at all, and yet, I still have nerves.

Will I get up in time? Will I find where they want me to park? Will I remember my shoes? Weird angst.

I’ve had some frustration all day. I don’t know which came first, the all day nerves, or the running a race tomorrow nerves.

Sigh.

Here I am again, going on about running. While asserting this is not a runner’s blog. It’s not…I just so happens that running is the way I deal with most of life.

I have this thing I do in life where I see something, perceive that it is a good idea, take the leap, and then freak out about it.

Over and over and over and over again.

And here I am in freak out zone again.

Not really about the zoo race. I don’t think. Though my nerves are pretty wound up about that. It is more about various projects I have going on.

I am actually done Christmas shopping for my girls. Earliest ever!! But I have taken on helping another family put together a Christmas for their family. I sort of have things organized but I don’t trust the organization I have done, so I fret. A lot. Like feel like I can’t breathe fret. Sit in my car trembling fret. I don’t want to let my friend down and disappoint her kids. It just has to work out.

Yeah, more than a little stressed.

In all of this I am trying to ignore the fact that my second born is turning 10 Tuesday. She is such a little peanut. She’s my little girl that yearns to be so big, so independent, and yet just wants time to be hugged and loved by mommy.

I had decided yesterday there was nothing worth getting up for on Black Friday. And then a little voice asked from the back of the car, “Mommy, where are you going for Black Friday? I think it would be so fun.” She was so eager, I found myself checking ads again and setting my alarm for 5:15 this morning. I half expected her to ignore me when I came down to wake her up, but no, she pretty much bounced up, wide awake.

So out we headed. We purchased a few items at our first stop, a few more at our second stop, then a yummy treat, a few more items at our third store, and one more yummy treat. During that second treat stop I was making an on-line purchase and was pretty intent on what I was doing, next thing I know, she is on my side of the table cuddled up next to me. And I was reminded how important this one-on-one time is to my middle child…as I listened to her plan our Black Friday trip for next year!

No stores kept in the black from our little purchases, but we made a memory and that’s, as they say, priceless. Oh my gosh you guys, that line I just wrote sounds so cheesy, but there are tears in my eyes when I think about how much this morning meant to my little peanut and I. And how I almost missed it.

You guys, I don’t know how to sort it all out. So I guess I am here writing it out trying to understand my emotions and why I get so dang wrapped up in certain thoughts, why I can’t just shrug them off.

Sigh.

So there you go, a glimpse into how my brain is working, or not working, as of late. I’d talk about the really cool fact that I signed up for my 2nd half marathon, but I better not, since this isn’t a runner’s blog. I’ll just sit here amazed that I will run my SECOND half marathon a week after I turn 43. Nope, I won’t mention that.

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Posted in #nablopomo, Bipolar Disorder, depression, exercise, Half Marathon, memories, Sue

Can’t You Just Be

Posted on May 11, 2016 | Leave a comment

I am currently very excited to be overhauling my diet, super upping my exercise, and trying to reclaim my body pre-stupid-psych-meds.

After 15 years of medications, surgery, and the like, I have finally found a diet that controls my stomach pain and is taking off the weight. I didn’t want to change my diet, but the pain was making it inevitable–relief came when someone introduced me to the Low FodMap diet. It is a fair amount limiting concerning on what I can eat, but the fact that it no longer hurts my stomach to have the girls hug me is huge–stupendous.

Bonus–the weight I put on while taking some of the psych meds is falling off–currently at the rate of a pound a day.

2016-05-09 11.10.52

I have the success of the FodMap diet and some big dreams that continued me on my path of exercising consistently. I am partnering with a friend to do the Beachbody workout PiYo six days a week, with an overall goal of being certified to teach PiYo live a year from now. I continue to love my FitBit and work toward my minimum daily target of 10,000 steps. I got a new model, the Alta, for Mother’s Day and it is taking me a bit to get used to what it credits as a step. The zip counted just about any movement. The Alta is a little more particular.

I love PiYo, but soon I am going to start another workout. T25. It was my birthday present to me. I am very focused on my physical health right now.

And it feels great!

Someone dear to me said the other day, “You’re either totally down and out, no moving, no nothing, or you’re all the exercise, all the activity. Can’t you just be somewhere in the middle?”

That question, to me, was very telling on what it is like to live life with me. There are constant fluctuations–often big fluctuations. I try to tame them, really I do, and I thought I had done a better job than I apparently have. The ups and downs can be intense–rapid, and hard to follow, but I hope for those who are around me, that it is worth the ride!!!

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Posted in Bipolar Disorder, exercise, weight loss

All The Hard Work

Posted on September 1, 2015 | 2 comments

I have been working very hard at my fitness and trying desperately to get my diet under control. And what do I get for it? More weight. That’s right, I gain.

My hubby never works out, but does work many hours at a physically demanding job. He eats like crap. He’s down 13 pounds.

Grrr. It makes me crazy. So crazy, I had to hide my scale in the basement. I do my measurements about once a month.

I am losing inches, though not where I would like to the most, so I know I am doing something right, but my waist is still huge and the number when I do peek at the scale, makes me sick.

Recently, I had someone say something very degrading to me about my weight. They didn’t mean it, it just happened. And I hate it.

I work so hard, but little of it shows. My arm muscles are growing, but there is still a ton of fat there. My cheek bones are nice, but the chin is still padded extra. I saw my collar bones peeking out today. As I looked at them, something dawned on me. I may still hate a great deal about my body, but at the same time, the measurements I take miss a lot. They don’t consider my collar bone. They don’t take into account my cheek bones or the calf muscles that I am very proud of.

So people, the tape measure, and the scale may try to diminish me, but they don’t tell the whole story…And I think I need to hang on to that.

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Posted in exercise, weight loss

Two Lawns Done

Posted on July 3, 2015 | 4 comments

I think too much. It’s just that. Plain and simple. I honestly think it is part of the reason mental illness found a home between my ears. I stew in my thoughts. I often can’t let them go. And things have meaning to me, a lot of meaning.

Take, for instance, mowing the lawn. Yup. It is a hot and sweaty job that makes me feel liberated and empowered.

I tried to mow the lawn for my dad when I was a little girl. He had this old riding lawn mower. And at probably 12 or so he let me try to do the lawn.

He wasn’t impressed.

After two attempts, he declared it looked like a racetrack and said I couldn’t mow it anymore.

I learned I was no good at it and that was that.

Another thing I wasn’t good at.

I tried to brush it off, but damn. I took that thought deep. I was no good at it.

Then I met the hubby. We each had our own houses when we met (obviously) and I had this little teeny tiny lawn to mow. I was paying someone but hubby had an extra mower and taught me how to start it, run it, and mow my postage stamp.

It was liberating. I loved heading out there to mow my little spot. I could do it. I didn’t need someone else for this task.

Once we got married, me mowing the lawn took a backseat as three kids came in four years. I was nursing one baby or another for 5 years, so I was kind of needed in the house.

Now, they are older and I am back outside part of the time.

I have joyfully taken on the job of mowing the lawn again.

Today, I mowed TWO lawns, while hubby cleaned the kitchen 😉 and then came out and did the trimming of the lawns.

I did it. I did a task I had been told, and told myself, that I couldn’t do. And that folks, is empowering. I feel like a million sweaty bucks.

I love my dad deeply and the anniversary of his death is coming up Tuesday. You’ll read a nice post about how much I love him, and I do, but right now, if he were here, I would choose the ever mature action of sticking my tongue out at him and saying, “I did it! So THERE!”

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Posted in Bipolar Disorder, daddy, exercise, memories, random thoughts

Another Mother Runner

Posted on May 28, 2015 | 2 comments

Running has not been easy for a while now. I’ve been dealing with desperate leg pain.

So I added compression socks.

Different shoes.

And felt some, not a lot, relief.

So I went back to my “soul” workout, PiYo. I feel so strong even though I have a long way to go!

I began toying with and kind of decided to quit running. Just accept it and walk…

Then this came from a sweet friend.

She even got the book SIGNED for me. I was blown away. I immediately put the shirt on and had my daughter take some pictures.

Motivation in a little brown envelope.

Excuse while I go exercise to strengthen my legs!!!

And run.

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Posted in exercise, friends, running

Peanut Butter Wars

Posted on May 16, 2015 | 1 comment

I am not much of a peanut butter eater, unless said peanut butter is Jif reduced fat. I love the taste and texture of the reduced fat version. I know it is not really any good for someone trying to lose some weight, but I often feel powerless against the siren song.

A couple weeks ago, I got completely ensnared. I could not stop pulling out a spoon to get a yummy dollop. One after another, after another…even though I could feel my clothing getting tight again. It was just so yummy. Then a friend told me about all the sodium in it…I knew I had to resist when I gained 6 lbs in a week.

But oh the agony of my lost love.

I held strong and I did it. I cut myself down from spoon after spoon in a day to less than one a day. And thankfully my body was nice enough to forgive me for the sodium onslaught and go back to normal. But I know my weakness.

So this week found me buying crunchy peanut butter. I hate the taste, the texture, everything about it. Yay!!!

I am trying to make other good choices. I am logging my food, eating lots of protein at breakfast, added in low fat cheese as a snack. I need more ideas.

What are your real food go-to items? Do you have recipes you can share? Help me get my eating on the bandwagon. I have some goals that running alone won’t win…

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Posted in exercise

Step In Time

Posted on April 15, 2015 | 2 comments

I walk inside. I walk outside. I run inside. I run outside.

Outside I have a million distractions to keep me moving along–inside is not always so easy. But I have developed a system. I put in a movie I enjoy, cover up the display on the treadmill so I can’t obsess over how far I’ve gone or how far I need to go.

Friday, my system worked quite well and I made it 5 miles on the treadmill, all while watching Mary Poppins. I keep going to reach my goal of running a half marathon. Mary Poppins and her adventures and fun music (Step In Time) help move me forward.

As of late, things have been a little complicated in my brain as it applies to the Bipolar Disorder, which has meant more steps and more exercise to distract me from the turmoil inside my soul. I have had some very impressive step counts as I run and/or walk to get away from the emptiness, and the noise, of the depression Bipolar Disorder has brought.

What do you do to keep yourself motivated to exercise? How have you overcome injury and boredom? Does the act of walking or running help you with other challenges in your life?

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Posted in Bipolar Disorder, depression, exercise

Every Single Step

Posted on March 14, 2015 | 6 comments

Today was a long awaited day…my first 5k to run in two years!

I have been doing 3.1 miles and more on the treadmill, but earlier this week I tried running outside and with the snow and ice still around, it did not go well. I lasted a very short time, only ran little sprints, and my legs hurt so badly. I just wasn’t sure it was going to happen.

My exercise this week has been minimal. I tried to run/walk outside on Sunday and Monday, then did a PiYo workout Tuesday, and yoga on Thursday and Friday. I just didn’t know what was going to happen today.

Would I run? Or would I disappoint myself and end up walking?

Well, drum roll please, I ran every single step. Every last one. My lungs sounded awful for the first 1/2 mile and my legs started to hurt around a mile, but I ran through both and felt fantastic.

My good friend who ran it with me tried to get a picture of me crossing the finish line, but it didn’t turn out. But, I had her take others because I was just sure you would want to see my wild and crazy hair and t-shirt (my bun fell out around 1 and 1/2 miles into it, so my crazy mane got to be free and easy.