Category Archives: kidlets

Funerals And Such

I think we are creeping closer and closer to being a pet owning family again..  Hubby and I each had dogs when we got married, but old age and illness took them from us a few years back.  And while Hubby and I loved our dogs, we have also loved the freedom of no pets to consider when planning camping trips, have loved not cleaning up dog poop in the yard, and the lack of hair in the house.

But I think those days are coming to an end.

Caitlyn, and often Sue, have been begging for a dog for months.  We have put them off during that time by telling them they have to learn to keep their room clean before we consider adding a dog.

Well, guess what…there room is not always clean, but they are doing much better..and they have stopped fighting me over cleaning their room when I mention in needs to be done.

Today they cleaned it all on their to hold a funeral…for Caitlyn’s firefly that passed away at the hand, er foot, of someone in our household.  They have cleaned their room and are making invitations to the service.

Yeah, the whole thing is weird, but I am thinking it is time for a pet with a little more staying power than a firefly.  And we are not cat people.  Or hamster people.  And fish just don’t last.  That leaves us with…a dog.

And now for more parameters.

I am not a big dog person.  I consider black labs big.  I grew up with, and had, a dachshund.  They are cute and small, but can be picky about children.  But that is the kind of dog hubby is thinking he would like for our next pet go-around.

I would like something that doesn’t really shed.  My cousin has this amazing golden labradoodle that is small, affectionate, patient with kids, and doesn’t shed.

So much to consider—like that whole cleaning up poop in the yard…yuck…but I think the day of reckoning is coming quickly…and honestly it is more fun to consider than our current presidential race, so I guess I will continue to think upon these things…

Upon Holding Your Son

Oh my friend, I have so much to say to you, so much in my heart, but I am so afraid it will come out all wrong.

Today, I held a miracle.  Your new baby.  Yes, I know all babies are miracles, I send three to bed in my own home every night, but yours, oh yours.  He is a miracle.

I believe all babies are prayed for–as you know I pray for all babies I know about—but 10 years, not all are special enough to get 10 years of prayers.  I almost cried while holding him this morning, I am crying now, at having held the answer to 10 years of prayers today.

God is so faithful.  In the darkest moments, the hardest struggle, God is so faithful.

As someone said on your Facebook today, motherhood looks good on you.  God created you for this role–the good days, the hard days, He created you for all of it.

There is very little, if any, advice you need.  And you are wise enough to ask when you have questions.  You may not have worn the formal cloak of motherhood for long, but you taught me something today and for that I thank you.  You taught me to give my moment to moment concerns to God–as we talked about checking to see if they breathing, something mothers for generations have done and anguished over, you reminded me we can give even that to God.  I needed that reminder.  Thank you.

I know there is no advice I NEED to give you, but there is something on my heart.  You will, and probably have, heard a lot to enjoy this time because it goes so fast.  I took that so much to heart that I cried when they lifted Caitlyn up on my chest for the very first time; up until this point, she had been all mine.  But now, now people would expect me to share her and expect me to groom her to grow up and leave me.  I had my first panic attack about her growing  up and leaving me when she was 8 weeks old.  I was standing in the store, my first time away from her, hyperventilating because she was already so old.

It really didn’t get better from there.  I spent the next four years growing and having babies.  And having people tell me to enjoy this time because they grow so fast.  I was comfortable in my role as a mama of young, young babies.  I felt like I could handle it.  But what about what came next.  That brought only terror.

I loved being a nursing, cloth diapering mama.

What if I didn’t love what came next?

Thing is, what came next, was coming, was here…and I still loved it.  I slowly loosened my grip on what I saw myself as good at and put my eyes on my children and who they were…and I let myself breathe.

Yes, those early days went quickly–how else do you explain that I am days from my first baby turning 10 and my youngest baby turning 6?  But the thing is–these ages are amazing too.

My girls like to take walks with me.  They seek me out to tell me about their day.  Each one has embraced homeschooling with me.

Each of my amazing girls have interests of their own–Caitlyn loves to craft and do.  Sue is my social butterfly.  She loves people and cuddles.  Patrice is a talker who knows her own mind like nobodys business.  Caitlyn learns like I do, Sue takes in info like  her daddy, and Patrice is still learning how to best absorb her studies.  Each of them blesses my heart in how they learn about and follow after God.  My heart bursts to hear them sing about the Lord, tell me their AWANA lessons, and pray for others.  The hardest part of their spiritual walk for me is following the Lords’ leading to pray for Him to send one of them to Asia for His kingdom.  I still want to keep them close but He is teaching me to let them grow.

My heart cry for you and I as mothers, is to take joy and comfort in watching them grow.   Yes, the early days go quickly–but they are amazing and the days that come after them are just as, if not more, amazing–and the Lord has given us a front row seat.  We are standing right in front of the canvas of their lives watching the Lord choose the colors as He paints His masterpiece in our beloved children.

That is truly amazing.

On the Look Out

There is a golf driving range and miniature golf course on my walking route.  I love walking by it.  It is a nice change of scenery.  Well, during the summer that is.  During the winter it is a pretty drab area of nothing.

Tonight is a very mild night, about 70 degrees and breezy.  There were lots of people out golfing.  And as I always do, I looked through the golfers noting the families, especially the ones with older kids.

Those make me happy, they give me hope.

You see, since Caitlyn was just 8 weeks old, I have been dreading the day they will get older, grow up, and leave me.  I like them close, I like them with me.  I like life the way it is now.  But I know it will change.

I picture this change starting in the tween and teen stage with the girls not wanting to be around us…and only growing until we haven’t seen them in months.

But those people miniature golfing, they, give me hope.  They give me hope we can weather the years together, as a family.  Growing and learning together.

 

I Ignored the Household Chores

I have to admit my girls watch too much tv.  The dumb bipolar and associated meds make me so tired it is often hard to get up the gumption to do anything after schoolwork is done.

But something has to change, so Tuesday Caitlyn, Patrice, and I played a couple hands of Uno.

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Tonight our game of choice was Tripoley.

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Patrice kicked our butts.

Sue was the entertainment of the evening when her “Jam”  Tootie Frootie came on

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Thank you girls for a couple of nights mama will definitely remember.

And now I am cleaning the kitchen…sigh.

Random Ramblings

I am enjoying my Valentine’s Day Diet Coke tonight

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Caitlyn was uber creative with her Valentine message to all of us.  Each post-it note says one thing she loves about us.

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Daddy had fun with tying Sues’ dress sash

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Sue found a great icicle

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And Patrice looks crazy cute practicing her first French lesson–what is it about kids in headsets??

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Cookies

What one does, the others must do.  Even when it comes to cookie baking.

Catilyn can now bake almost completely on her own.  She does a great job with very little input from me.  Sue and Patrice want to do it too.  But their skills are at a different level, there is a great deal of fighting, and they are younger, so mama has to be a lot more involved.

And I don’t wanna.  I’ve gotten spoiled.  I’ve gotten lazy.

But here I am.  I’ll expect my mommy of the year award any moment.

Right now Sue is telling Patrice they can’t use the mixer because they are making old fashion cookies and doing it the old fashion way.

Well, okay then.

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And Sue just realized she put in one too many eggs, so I am doing some quick math in my head to try and fix it (okay, not such hard math, but hey, it’s my blog, I can sound as amazing as I want, right?).  My goal is to have her do all the reading and hopefully she’ll start to understand why she needs to read well.

It’s a darn good thing the baking process will kill germs introduced in the mixing process.

And the flour is everywhere.  Yippee, we get to mop when we are done!

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And cookies.

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Allowances

The girls have started asking me for an allowance.  I tend to agree at age almost 8 (as in this month) and 9, they are old enough to get an allowance.

But I have a few questions.

When did you start giving your kids allowances?  Was it a set amount?  Did they get it no matter what or did they get it based on doing their chores?  (I kind of like the idea of putting the chores on a bulletin board with a dollar each and if they do the chore, they get the dollar–ownership in the process).  Can I be so nosey to ask how much your kids get?  Did/does it go up as they age?

I would love to hear your thoughts on allowances.

Thank you,

All the Pretties

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Two of My Three Daughters

I know you are not supposed to compare your kids to other peoples’ or each other.  But it is hard not to.

Can I get an amen?!

I have three girls, ages 9, almost 8, and 5. My nine year old is uber responsible.  My third one is still the clueless, cute 5 year old.  My 7 year old.  My dear 7 year old.  She’s just on another planet.  She is clueless on how to do many things her sister was doing at her age, she is struggling in areas Caitlyn sailed through without a pause.  She is still working on learning to read and Dear Lord, you can just assume she is going to lose anything you put money into and keep anything that is righteous garbage.

I am not sure what to do.  Now to be fair, she did decide last week to start doing the laundry (not including folding) without prompting and did a great job.  I am hoping this continues into next week.  I can forgive a lot for a kid who does the laundry.

In the meantime, I feel like I am always yelling at her.  Always scolding her, always correcting her.  I worry she will see the difference between her and her sisters when it comes to my fussing.  I hate how frustrated it makes me feel.  And how frustrated it must make her.

I have to bite my tongue often to stop myself from saying, “why can’t you be more like your sisters?”  I know, no matter how tempting it is, I must refrain from ever saying that to her.  Not only because it would not feed her spirit, but also because I don’t want to change her spirit.  I don’t want to change her.  I just want to know how to get through all the glorious fun chatter, dancing, singing, and merry making that is Sue in order to teach her skills and behaviors she needs to know.

So I will keep trudging along saying,

“I will not compare.”

“I will not compare.”

“I will not compare.”

What Does Grace Look Like?

This is what grace looks like:

Leah at park 2010Grace is 5 years ago this little bundle screaming her head off as we put her up to the slide (not down the slide), while her very sick mama battled postpartum depression, anxiety and psychosis in the background.

2015-10-01 18.01.08Grace is a mama still be here, homeschooling, her three beautiful daughters that 5 years ago today she tried to surrender them to her midwife during a psychotic break.

2015-10-28 09.22.43Grace, grace, Gods’ grace is this little girl, who was screaming on that slide 5 years ago while her mama battled for her mind, now wrapping her arms around her mama and telling her she’s the best mama ever.