Category Archives: Sue

Prepare Yourself…

Posted on May 5, 2013 | 1 Comment

I was going to write another heavy post and then I saw this happening outside of my house.

And yesterday there was this when we were participating in a fundraising walk.

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Posted in Caitlyn, kidlets, Patrice, Sue

Tagged Caitlyn, Kidlets, Patrice, sue

Too Much, Just Too Much

Posted on April 17, 2013 | 1 Comment

The last week and a half has been full of too much death.

On a national level, Annette Funicello, Margaret Thatcher, those attacked by cowards at the Boston Marathon, George Beverly Shea, and on a personal level, a long-time bus driver from my growing up years and a long-time coworker from my previous job.

And this stirs up feelings of loss from my dad’s death almost 9 years ago. My sister posted a picture on facebook of our dad with her kids. It came up in my timeline today. I saw his amazing eyes amidst all his bushy hair and my heart stopped. And honestly, it doesn’t feel like it has restarted.

I see you in my dreams daddy

My dad died just after I got engaged to my husband. He didn’t see my wedding, he hasn’t met any of my girls. I have talked about him some. He’s known as my dead dad. Every time we make a chocolate cake, my dad’s favorite, Sue asks if it’s for my dead dad. I tell her no, except on a few special days, but I think from now on, the answer will be yes.

Here’s our latest creation daddy.

My aunt, my dad’s sister, once reminded me, the best tribute to my dad, and what he would want me to do, would be to live my life, and I have, but today, I pause, for him and for the many who have died recently and for those who loved them. May your memories bring you peace and healing.

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Posted in daddy, Sue

All The Things

Posted on January 30, 2013 | 4 Comments

First, let me just say non-stop sickness since Christmas is not rocking my world. It has been crazy. But I think illness does explain the issues we were having last week getting Sue to go to school. They had Friday off. Guess who woke up with a fever? Yup.

Caitlyn was doing quite fine on Friday. So she got to paint her nails while the other two slept.

Patrice got to use some of her skills she learned in speech, physical therapy to make a colored sand necklace in Sunday School. This mama is very sad to report it already got broken, before I could put it in her keepsake box.

Then Monday came and we had our first snow day. I’m glad. Both older girls were feeling a little punky and I wasn’t sure whether or not to send them to school.

Enlist them as maids though? Absolutely yes.

Sue got crumbs on the chair. So Sue got to learn to vacuum.

Tuesday we started potty training Patrice. She had success.

And now today won’t cooperate to get into undies. Do I force her or let today slide because she is sick…hmmm. I’ll let you know what I decide!

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Posted in Caitlyn, kidlets, Patrice, Sue

Doing This All Wrong

Posted on January 22, 2013 | Leave a comment

I am probably doing this all wrong by blogging about it. Because I don’t think I really want any advice. But maybe I do. I am a little conflicted.

It’s about this little girl

Me and my kitty

I adore this little girl. I mean totally adore. I love having her with me. I love the things she comes up with. I mean who wouldn’t? Her New Year’s resolution was to make her hugs warmer. What’s not to love?

I can’t believe she is almost at her hundredth day of school. She is the youngest in her class, but is doing great. She is an amazing social butterfly. She can make friends anywhere and everywhere. She is saying good bye to every kid we see at the end of school.

I know she likes it there and they like her.

But we’ve had two perplexing calls from the school that her tummy hurt and she was running a slight temperature. So we brought her home. And she was fine. Especially this last time. I swear she dipped the thermometer in someone’s coffee to make that temperature happen, because she was perfectly fine at home.

And then today. She said her tummy hurt. Her sisters have both been battling a tummy bug. So who’s to say she isn’t the latest victim. Except she has been fine all day. None of the symptoms of her sisters. And she admitted that while her tummy hurt, her biggest reason for staying home is missing mommy.

Loving on each other

I keep the days low key when anyone is home sick. I try not to make it fun. But it is hard to know when to try and have them tough it out and when to let them have the comfort of home. Hmmmm. And I freely admit I love having them home with me. Caitlyn was a little hesitant about going today and it was hard not to give in to that as the mom and just have her stay with me. It was hard to be a responsible adult and have her go to school. But I did. And so far no calls.

It appears that was the right call. Was keeping Sue home the right call? Is there are hard and fast right or wrong answer? Is it so bad to keep them home?

Hmmm.

lifetouch_20121113081524

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Posted in Sue

No Special Word or Topic–Just Rambling

Posted on January 4, 2013 | 5 Comments

The last couple weeks have not been what I dreamed of. Ever since the Sandy Hook tragedy, I had dreamt of having all my girls home with me and how wonderful our time would be.

It has not turned out that way.

We visited my grandma the first Saturday of break. She was non responsive and died hours after we were there. This was my dad’s mom. It broke my heart that he wasn’t there. That pain never goes away, even after 8 years.

Then we discovered one of the girls had brought lice home from school. The hallmark of our holiday has been combing and shampooing heads and washing everything not tied down. We even ended up having to get a prescription medication. I *think* the little suckers are gone. I hate them. They are a scourge from the pits of hell. I bathed the girls again yesterday with special medicine. We got done and Caitlyn said “so they like clean heads, right?” Yes. “So we just washed our head again so they are clean…” Yes, Caitlyn. I have been wondering the same thing. All the research says they prefer clean heads…so what do you have to do to get rid of them? Make your head cleaner than ever. Anybody else see the problem with this? (update, when I checked this morning there were no little buggers, that is two checks in a row!!!) This is the first time I have admitted our lice problem publicly. I have been so embarrassed and ashamed and angry over it. Please don’t judge.

After Christmas we headed back up north to my family for my grandma’s funeral. I didn’t think I would cry, but lost it when Patrice looked at her in the coffin and said, “hi Grandma!” Just like she had done when we visited her. Patrice has never known grandma any different so she did what made sense, she said hi. When I told the girls Grandma had died and gone to heaven, Sue said, “then we can’t be sad, right?” My dad died before I got married, and my grandpa died 36 hours before Patrice was born, so my girls will never know them. That makes me sad. My heart hurts.

I also saw a new psych this week. My old one does not take our new insurance. I have mourned this extensively. I am still heartbroken over it. But I saw the new one in the nick of time. I have had a lot of anger and frustration since Christmas day. A lot. And it has been getting worse. The new doctor upped my lithium. And in infinite wisdom said the anger could be mania or depression. Way to clear that up, huh? And he wants me to start seeing a therapist (my old doctor did both). He gave me a place to call. I don’t want to. I can’t bear to start over. And our insurance only covers half of it. I’m not sure what to do. Sigh…

How was your Christmas? Were you able to make all the memories you had hoped for?

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Posted in Caitlyn, depression, Patrice, Sue

Christmas Fun

Posted on December 21, 2012 | 4 Comments

As part of Patrice’s speech therapy, she is actually enrolled in school at age 2, even though the therapist comes to our home. This odd arrangement has it’s benefits. We find out about all the activities at our neighboring school.

Our speech therapist has been raving about one for weeks, Cookies with Reindeer. They have real reindeer, fresh baked cookies, and story time with Mrs. Claus.

I had been saying I wanted to go, but thanks to a dinner fiasco it did not look like we would make it in time…but I think daddy saw how much I needed to get out of the house and out of my head. So we bundled up and piled in the car.

I’m so glad we did.

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Posted in Caitlyn, Christmas, Patrice, Sue

Day 2

Posted on December 18, 2012 | 1 Comment

Here it is. Day two of letting my girls go back to school.

Yesterday was horrible. I begged God to let them wake up just sick enough to stay home. They both had very mild colds. I asked them a thousand times if they wanted to stay home with mommy. No. No matter how many times I asked.

I cried as I watched them get in the truck to leave. I sobbed as they drove away. I cried throughout the day as I counted the hours and minutes until they got home. I ran to the door several times in the afternoon thinking it was them.

I passed my day cuddling Patrice. It did not go fast enough.

I was told on twitter and facebook that I needed to trust God and have more faith. I don’t know what to do with that advice. What good does that do except to insult me. And insinuate the writer knows the state of my faith and beliefs. I know it just left me cold and angry. Maybe people are right, maybe I don’t have enough faith.

My heart just keeps replaying an agony I can not really imagine. That is too horrible to imagine. To lose a child. My heart goes out to those mamas and daddies that buried their babies yesterday, and will in the days to come. And I beg God to bring my babies home.

I again let them go to school today with bated breath. I waved until they were out of sight. And I am counting the hours.

Bring them back to me safe and sound Lord Jesus.

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Posted in Caitlyn, Faith, Patrice, Sue

A Heavy Heart

Posted on December 15, 2012 | Leave a comment

I know I am not alone in this world of hurt and confusion. Yesterday’s events at an elementary school have touched, scarred many of us.

I have two little girls in school. They are in first grade and kindergarten. I was at their school yesterday during the horrific events a few states away. Without even knowing what was happening, I wanted to grab them up and bring them home.

But I left them at school.

I came home to the news.

So many lives destroyed.

I can’t stop thinking about the Christmas shopping those moms and dads had likely done. Gifts that will never be opened.

We told the girls very vaguely what had happened yesterday. And then we prayed for the families.

I wondered how I would ever send my girls to school again. How to ever let them be away from me again.

Today I still wonder.

I hold them close.

And maybe let them get away with a little more then usual.

I love you girls!

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Posted in Caitlyn, Patrice, Sue

Sue’s Big Week

Posted on December 5, 2012 | Leave a comment

My middle baby had a milestone birthday last week. She turned 5!

She has been looking forward to this day since her last birthday! And she lived it up when it finally came.

We started on thanksgiving with family. She spent all day reminding us there was a birthday celebration for her. She got the Unicorn Dreamlite she has been, well, dreaming of.

Then we celebrated again on her actualy birthday with her grandparents and two of her aunts.