Days don’t always go as easily as we would like. I’ve had more than a few of those lately and I am profoundly tempted to come here and whine my little heart out, but I think today needs something a little different–thanks instead of whine.
We are truly having an amazingly beautiful fall.
Monday night we had some dear friends over to enjoy dinner with us before they head to their missionary post in Bangladesh. We are going to miss them. But we are so proud and excited to see them head to fulfill what the Lord has called them to. We are supremely honored to love them near and far. And so thankful for new technology that will help us stay in touch.
I got a mental health day yesterday. Don’t all teachers need that? 😉 I had a doctor appointment that I could not take the girls too. Hubby took a day to be the substitute teacher. I wanted to feel cool so I wrote out 2 pages of instructions. I went to my appointment while they tackled the first subject, then I took my proofreading project to Starbucks and used a gift card to get one of the fun drinks, without coffee (yes, you can do that) and sat and read. I felt so cool. Next I came home and took the opportunity to run on the treadmill (yup, I am up to a mile at a time!!!). We ended our day with a couple laps around the block as a family.
Seriously, I felt really cool writing up the lesson plans and notes for hubby. And he noticed some things that we could do to better support one of the girls’ learning.
And, I am beyond excited that something clicked in my brain this weekend and I am back to craving exercise. Truly craving it.
(I don’t know what that weird dot is on my nose)
As I said in the beginning, there have been some challenges lately. And some of them have rocked me to the core, but for today, I needed to pass on a little thanks.
I hope your fall is treating you well and showing you lots of beauty.
As I have mentioned, once or twice, or a thousand times, I fell in love with running between Sue and Patrice’s births. And while expecting Patrice, I was worried I wouldn’t get one-on-one time with the new baby. I began yearning for a jogging stroller. But have your priced those puppies? Wowzers. Definitely something to register for when you are having your first baby so either a group can go in on it or over excited grandparents can invest in it for you.
I did not have such option. So I began searching for used. And found a great one. Then I wondered if I would get my use out of it. Sure, I could now take Patrice with me, but I still had those two other little girls… Well, if I haven’t mentioned it, my hubby rocks. He often sends me out for a run. The first time I headed out with Patrice in the stroller, I was pretty sure this was NOT going to work. I made it maybe a mile. And I was toast.
But I have kept at it. And can now do three miles with her in there. And as bumpy as it is, she almost always falls asleep. Lately, life has been really busy. Patrice and I have not gotten out there. But tonight, I was determined. So while the aforementioned wonderful hubby did bedtime routine with the other two, she and I literally snuck out.
It has been 10 days since we last ran, so we weren’t after distance, we probably did 2 miles, and some of those inches hurt! But we did it. And we feel great.
I am so thankful for my running, my husband who supports it so much, and the time to be with my little Patrice.
I am not full of answers right now, I am more of a gloomy guss, truth be told, so today I just have questions.
Why must we hurt? I am in the best time of my life with three perfect little girls and the postpartum depression and anxiety threaten to overtake me.
Why must we cry? I cry but it brings no relief so then I just feel spent and stupid.
I wish there was more, but that is what I have right now. What are you thinking about for Thought Provoking Thursday?
I started to push publish, but that is not quite all there is on my heart. In the midst of struggles, I am thankful for
Glimpses of spring
Text, e-mail and Twitter friends
A lovely daughter who loves to do chores with mama
Little girl smiles and giggles
Ruffle butt baby jeans
What are you thankful for?
The first step feels good. The second step feels a little crazy. I wonder what I was thinking. How far will I make it. I reduce my goal for today. I just don’t think I am going to make it. Then I start to think about making it to the end of this street. Next up to the traffic light. On to a light 1/2 a mile away.
As I go, my thoughts and feelings change. I start noticing the scenery around me. Praying for friends and situations. Slowly I realize my legs are no longer burning and my lungs are not gasping for the energy to go on. And I begin moving my goal further out. No longer, will I make it another step, rather, can I go to the next goal. My feet no longer fight moving, instead they echo a refrain, “Thank you Lord for each step I take. Thank you for the doctors who believed in a better day for me. Thank you.”
Ten years ago I was in a wheelchair and on high doses of steroids just to keep functioning. The Multiple Sclerosis was interrupting more days than not. I began to resign myself to always being sick, always being dependent on medications that made me sicker even as they helped my body function. I didn’t dream of running. I dreamt of a day where I didn’t struggle to get from beginning to end.
The Lord used a brilliant doctor, some decent medications and the hormones of childbearing to bring me a healing I had decided was unlikely to be mine until I saw Him in Glory. Today and every day I endeavor to thank the Lord for the renewed strength my body has with my words, thoughts and deeds. Those thoughts and deeds are never as present as when I am running.
May I never stop thinking and thanking the Lord for His gift to myself and my family. I pray I am always like the one leper who came back and thanked Christ for healing him. I pray I use every opportunity to tell the reason for the hope I have been given.
Check out what others are thinking about…and thankful for