Category Archives: Uncategorized

I’ve noticed, I have less to blog when life is good.  My brain goes blank.  I guess that is a good  super problem to have.

Thing is, life doesn’t feel like it has been good.  I mean, come on, I was just in the hospital.

But I wasn’t in the psych ward.  That’s good.

And my roommate was quiet.  That’s good.

I advocated for myself.  That’s good.

I got results and the medication to fix the problem.  That’s good.

I stayed up all night reading a book.  And while I was dragging all day yesterday because of it, it was liberating.  That’s good.

The asthma attack from Hades ended.  That’s good.

I got one-on-one time with Caitlyn this weekend.  That’s good.

My contacts quit irritating me, so I can wear them again.  That’s good.

You can now buy Gelato in the grocery store.  That’s good.

The hospital called me back today and I made my dissatisfaction over the care I received this weekend known.  That’s good (for me at least).

Sue is now reading.  I am going to have to dye my hair pink and purple.  That’s good.

The depression has stayed away.  That’s GOOD!

So, I guess, looking amongst the rough, LIFE IS GOOD.

I’m not looking for fame and fortune in any area of my life, but especially not in my  writing.  I am just looking to be heard.  My heart is to walk alongside others, have them hear about my journey and me to hear about theirs.  And maybe share some ice cream.

That’s one of the things I talked about in a neat storyteller interview over at LeahPeah.  I’d love it if you took a hop over there, read my piece and peruse her home on the web.

Then, come back over here and help out Postpartum Progress via my Climb Out of the Darkness.

Today, the family and I went to Independence Oaks where the climb is going to be held.  It is gorgeous.  The route we chose is completely paved, so great for strollers.  We will be walking 2.2 miles through beautiful terrain.

Independence Oaks is very special to me.  I first visited there when the postpartum depression and anxiety were raging out of control.  I fell in love, and begged to go back as often as possible.  It was, and is, my healing place.  I know true healing comes from the Lord, but here, I can just breathe.  The tension drains from me.  I fall in love with Independence Oaks every time I am there.

Today was no different.  The ups and downs of this depressive episode are continuing and they are wearing on me.  In the depths, it literally hurts to breathe.  But today, as with every other time we have been there, I felt tension release and I could draw a deep breathe for the first time since seeing my friend on Sunday.  It’s just my place.

I would love to show you my place on June 21.  I would love to have you walk with us, I would love to show you my place.  Won’t you please head over to Crowdrise and commit to join us?

I spent New Year’s Eve Day begging a headache to go away.  It failed to listen.  It became a migraine instead.  That refused to respond to any medications.  Then it was nice enough to become stomach issues, that also refused to respond to medication.

Today is my first day back on my feet.

Thanks to all who listened to me whine via Facebook and text message.

I did send hubby a Facebook popcorn idea that he tried.  It turned out great.

You cover the bottom of a glass bowl with popcorn kernels and cover the bowl, we used a Pampered Chef batter bowl with a dinner plate.  The recipe says to put it in the microwave for 2 minutes and 45 seconds.  Hubby found it worked at about 4 minutes.  He then added butter and salt.  It was yummy without the awful smell of microwave popcorn.  I hate the over-the-top smell of microwave popcorn.  This didn’t smell and tasted good on my mad tummy.  We will do it again and again.

I’ve also pretty much given up diet coke.  I have replaced my habit with decaf iced tea.  Maybe that will support my quest for less mad tummy days.  I am also keeping a food journal to share with my family doctor to see if she can identify anything that should be axed.

Monday will bring the start of our school year in 2014.  We are forecasted to get about 10 inches of snow by Monday morning, but that won’t spell a snow day for us.  Don’t tell the girls.

I am making an addition to our schooling Monday.  We will start Explode the Code (phonics) with Caitlyn and Sue.  I’m concerned it will be too easy for Caitlyn, so we may end up skipping through much of the book, but we really need some phonics instruction for Sue.  I know the rules of English, but I am struggling to get them across to a 6 year old.  The English language has soooo many rules, and yet, it rarely follows any of them.  Darn language.  Have to give Sue all the tools to get through Fancy Nancy and the Dazzling Book Report so mama can get some dazzling hair!!!

We went up north to visit my family for the Christmas holidays.  Hubby did a great job fitting everything in the car to get up there and even better getting it all in to come back.  My girls might have gotten spoiled for Christmas!!!

I tried to be a little more present and a little less behind the camera, but here are a few pictures.

This is our Jesus Box.  It is the first thing we open during our family Christmas.  It has the Christmas story in it, which daddy reads, and lights (flashlights) for each of the girls to remind them we as Christians are called to be the light of the world.

Patrice busting a move at Grandma with 2 Doggies house.

I hope your New Year came in a little nicer than mine.  But overall, I can’t complain too much.  I had my family and a  wonderful Christmas holiday.

Please forgive the run on sentences that snuck into this post.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

Today has been a humdinger.  In many ways it feels like yesterday never ended.

I was up most of the night with stomach yuck.  And then my dog got really, really, really sick.  Again.  It started months ago.  It has gotten progressively worse.  He’s 12.

The conversation has been going on, what to do about Stuie?  When to say goodbye?  When is it wise for his sake and ours?  My fear has been that I was saying goodbye too soon, but today, the truth hit.  Life was ending for Stuie.

My wonderful, wonderful hubby took him in for his last vet appointment.

When hubby and I met, we had his and her dogs.  We had to say goodbye to Misty 3 1/2 years ago.  Today, I hugged my friend and said goodbye.

Stuie and I have been together 12 years and two weeks.  He was with me as I recovered from a rotten relationship, as the Multiple Sclerosis reduced me to a wheelchair and month long hospital stays, they let Stuie come to the hospital and he helped my body and mind heal.  The doctor insisted on meeting him one day, saying, “I want to meet this miracle dog.”

Then he was there when I met this great guy that would become my hubby.  He fit perfectly in what that guys black lab.  He transitioned to being a dog with three kids.  He was a good dog.

And today we said goodbye.

That’s the dog. That’s the potty chair.

There was the night he ate Patrice’s potty…and then there was today…

The last few weeks have been very full. Much of that is not my story to tell, so there are only the bits and pieces I said on twitter out in cyberspace. My fingers are itching to lay it all out, but for once, I think it is important for my marriage to keep them still.

Rest assured, I still have much to ramble on about.

Caitlyn and Sue finished school on Thursday.

I now have a second grader and first grader. Second grade y’all. That seems so old to me.

And we added glasses, okay technically the week before, but still, a big change.

She loves them and is taking great care of them.

Sue is a first grader now. Wow. I was at a birthday party of her classmates’ today. She seems so little compared to them, but first grade, here she comes!!

Tonight Caitlyn is having another first, a slumber party. I went for the first hour. She joined right in. So I dragged myself away. Will I get boo’d if I admit I’m hoping we’ll get that call to come get her???

Along with summer vacation, Patrice and I got lovely coughs and yuck. We actually went to the doctor for it. I won myself an antibiotic, and an important lesson–next time a doctor offers me a script for cough syrup with codeine, I will take it. No more acting all tough.

Bye for now. Don’t mind me, I’ll just be over here in the corner coughing up a lung.

A sniffle.
A cough.
A fever.
More coughing.
A hacking, wheezing cough.
A scratchy voice.
Wheezing while breathing.
Another fever.
Coughing.
Throwing up.

A sick little girl. Patrice is all of the above and more.

She is my third child. You would think this would be old hat, but it stays scary. The doubts surface. You wonder what to do.

It Never Gets Easy.

Two years I have been battling for my mental health.  Two years we have looked at this adorable face.

She’s saying cheese 🙂

The battle rages on.  And it is worth it.  But it is not always pretty.

This last week it included thoughts I thought were gone for good and new horrific thoughts I never thought I would have.  There have been two medication changes and lessons in reaching out when I need help.

There have also been amazing moments of understanding and clarity.

The best thing my doctor said this week?  “that’s the healty part of you fighting those thoughts.”  The healthy part of me.  It’s there.  Others see it.  That is gold I can hang on to.

Also, the doctor helped me see I am a useful part of my family, that I do contribute.  I have an amazing husband who does so much; I had lost sight of what I do.  I saw all he does and thought that was it.  I discounted my role.  But this week my doctor made me see it.  He literally made me list off what I do in the house while hubby is doing so much.  It was good.  It was valuable.

So I soldier on.  The battle might get ugly, but it is worth it!  My girls and hubby are worth it.