Monthly Archives: May 2010

Pregnancy random thoughts

Not a whole lot to say, but hey…I can not believe I am under 10 weeks from my due date with baby 3!  Yay!  And apparently baby decided to celebrate yesterday with tons and tons of activity.  Honestly, I think the baby only stopped moving about an hour all day long.  This of course irritated my fussy uterus.  And the braxton hicks contractions started.  Wowzers.  I mean, wowzers. 

I started the day not feeling great, ended the day remembering how amazingly strong braxton hicks contractions can be.  I would like to talk to those pregnancy book writers whugh o say braxton hicks contractions are not painful.  They are either men or it has been a long time since they were pregnant.  Actually, it doesn’t even have to be a long time.  I swear there is a hormone released at various stages of labor and pregnancy to help you forget the challenges. 

You have to forget.  First, you have to forget the angst of trying to get pregnant or you will never subject yourself to that stressful waiting game.  Then you have to forget how bad morning sickness and first trimester exhaustion can be.  Next you have to forget how the blissful period of second trimester is not exaclty perfect.  Then you have to forget the trauma of seeing your body change from the form you know to this blimp sized thing.  Oh and the contractions, the braxton hicks contractions and then the actual contractons.

And blssfully, you do forget!!!  The Lord is gracious, and you forget so you are more than willing to go through every step of it. 

You are willing to go through every ache and pain. Every emotional up and down.  Every mood swing that makes you feel nuts.  Through every braxton hicks contraction.  Every moment of low baby movement that makes you worry something has happened in utero. 

Does the forgetting happen in stages or does it happen all in one moment when you hold the baby?  When you give him or her their name?

I don’t know.  I really don’t.  But I know the Lord is gracious.  He knows pregnancy can hold lots of challenges and he provides a way for us to forget. 

Then again, maybe I do know.  I think it is the overwhelming love for your child.  I have friends who have adopted.  That process, I think, would have challenges that make some of pregnancy stuff, seem like a walk in the park.  But many of those same friends, decide to walk the walk again.  So, yes, it is the love for the child God has given you, no matter how He gives Him.

The Lord is gracious and good.  Thank you Lord for love.,  For making a way when we don’t see a way.

Caitlyn is top picture, Sue is bottom.

Wedding Day Bliss

Yesterday my hubby and I attended the wedding of a very sweet couple.  All that getting ready and getting to the wedding was an undertaking…and we weren’t even getting married, just trying to get two kids ready to go to their Aunt’s and drive to the wedding.  Whew!

We really enjoyed the wedding.  Not only are the two who got married really sweet and well matched, but their service was beautiful.  It was very scripture based and included so much of what we believe.  They talked about how God is the focus of our lives.  And the scripture truths of why and how He designed marriage.

The pastor talked about how we need to keep a priority on our marriage and protect it.  How we need to make time for each other (even after kids…), how we are there for each other and how important communication is.  It all spoke right to my heart.  I don’t even know how many times I squeezed my hubby’s hand in agreement with what the pastor was saying.

It was really nice.  And we as a couple are not big on time away from our kids, so the time together while they were at their aunt’s was nice.  We got to talk and eat a dinner without once telling someone to ‘SIT DOWN’ or ‘PUT THAT DOWN.’ Or the myriad of things that you normally get to say during a meal, especially away from home.  We did not get every conversation we have been saving up all talked out, but we started a lot of them.  And we’ll look for times to finish them, or for the next installment.

Many blessings to the new couple.  Thank you for inviting us to share your wonderful day, the reminders of our wonderful day 5+ years ago and for the kid-free time!

We did not take pictures of their lovely day, though I look forward to seeing them all, but here is one from our own wedding day in 2004.

Not Me Not this weekend…

Mckmama- Not Me Monday

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I did not sit inside on a glorious spring day to write blog posts.  Oh no, I am out living life, not writing about it.

I did not meet my husband at the door Friday afternoon and say, I have to go to the gym.  I have to get out of here now.  My kids were not driving me so nuts I had to count the minutes til I could get out of here.  No, I am aware they are 2 and 3 and sometimes will have days that are, well, challenging. 

I did not threaten not to come home after a baby shower I went to yesterday, sans kids, if they were still being, well, challenging.  I did not completely enjoy my time without them yesterday at the shower. 
I did not, while talking to a friend at the shower yesterday, get a kick from baby 3 so hard that I yelped.  Oh no, I know what a baby kicking feels like and I am not such a wimp it would cause me to interrupt someone.
I did not stretch my kid-free time yesterday by going to the store on my way home.  I also did not buy more strawberries at the store, since I have eaten all of the ones hubby bought me on Wednesday.  No, I am not tempted to live on strawberries.  Nope, I eat much more balanced than that.
I did not celebrate my birthday by having 3 diet cokes on Thursday.  I did not also stretch the three diet coke day into Friday…and Saturday.  Oh no, I would never do that.  I know the heartburn at any minute could get really bad…
I did not go running into the bathroom with the camera to take pictures of my dirt covered kids before they got in the tub, only to be disappointed they were already mostly in the bathtub.
I did not do any of that this last week(end).  Nope, not me…what did you not do this week?

Our Crafty Corner

I am either getting gutsy or more confident in my sewing projects.  I had a baby shower to go to yesterday and didn’t start any of the sewing for it until Friday.  And then ended up getting the nursing cover made without a hitch (!!!) and making a coordinating bib and burp cloth.  I was very impressed with me.  It all turned out very cute. 
Sue wanted to help “show it off” so that is her arm in the picture.
And I loved how I ended up “wrapping” it.  Anyone who knows me knows wrapping gifts is not a strong suit.  But this went together well.  I put a layer of diapers on the bottom of the basket, then a couple cute kids books and the jungle ensemble on top.  I was so pleased with myself, I carried it outside so hubby could see it before I headed off to the shower. 
And while I went to the shower, daddy and girls shoveled dirt.  A lot of dirt.  Apparently we were in need of topsoil, so yesterday morning, 5 yards of it got delivered.  In my driveway.  Too bad we didn’t need it in our driveway.  Daddy and Caitlyn headed out to start moving it.  She had on her boots and was thrilled to be helping daddy. He would put a couple shovel fulls in her wagon and she was pull it all the way to the backyard.  She was really working hard! 
Sue was enjoying a slow morning inside.  She just laid on the floor and watched cartoons.  Then all the sudden she noticed the big ‘ol pile of dirt outside.  That kid can get her clothes FAST when she wants to get them on to go do something!  Wow.  When I left to go to the shower, she was in her ladybug boots pulling a wagon of dirt.  She was about bent over trying to get enough leverage to move the wagon.  It was very funny to watch.  And I must say the three of them did a great job.  There was NO dirt left on my driveway when I got home from the baby celebration.
Today, at least one of us had to make it to church. One of us had to volunteer in Sue’s Sunday School class.  Due to illness and life, we have not been there much.  And this week, like many others, the girls had coughs.  We are thinking maybe allergies, but we just don’t know, so didn’t want to take them to Sunday School.  I hate thinking I am going to be that mom that lets her kids get other kids sick. 
Daddy stayed home with the kidlets.  They did a lesson on Noah and made a craft, a birdfeeder.  And now that I think about it, they actually do go together…after the flood, Noah sent out the birds to see what they could find…anyone else seeing the connection????
They are pine cone feeders.  I saw the idea on Disney Channel and again recently on someone’s blog.  You take pine cones, cover them with peanut butter and roll them in bird seed.  Last weekend when we visited my family, Granny and Papa gave us pine cones.  I finally got bird seed last night.  Put it all together with some fishing line, and here is what they created.
Those are the crafts and projects we have been doing.  What are you working on?

Birth stories continued…can’t leave Sue out of the fun

Last week we started with Caitlyn’s story and this week is Sue’s turn…we’ll have to wait about 79 more days, give or take a few, for baby #3.
Sue is our bonus baby.  I was a little surprised to have Sue coming just 15 1/2 months after Caitlyn.  I got to my pre-baby weight with Caitlyn the day I found out I was expecting the baby who turned out to be Sue.
We again planned a low intervention, midwife attended, birthing center birth.  And I really hoped to get it this time.  I was thrilled to be working with my midwife again.  She was out on her own maternity leave when I found out we would be seeing her again.  I had a “mental” health check appointment scheduled with her before she went out to have her baby, but by the time she came back she said, “wow, I was a little surprised to see you in my OB list today!”  Yup, a little surprised to be in the OB list 🙂
I thought my pregnancy was much easier with Sue.  The morning sickness was again not so much fun, but it seemed a little easier and ended 2 weeks sooner than with Caitlyn!  Yay!!!!
It was a bit shocking at about 26 weeks, to start contracting!  For the next few weeks I went in several times to have the contractions monitored.  There were definitely contractions, but thankfully they were not making any changes.  Whew.  I spent a lot of the pregnancy laying in a warm tub to get my “irritated” uterus to chill out.  
This time around, I did not pass my blood glucose test, so I had to go for the 3 hour test.  I passed all but one of those tests.  I found out I was going to have to test my sugar and follow a diet to make sure things stayed healthy.  I felt very betrayed by my body.  I have spent so much of my life sick and now my body was struggling with staying in-line for pregnancy.
Honestly, the diet was annoying, as it took a lot more thought for what I was going to eat when, making sure I had protein with carbohydrates at each of 6 mini-meals a day.  The one time I saw the OB during my pregnancy, she told me I had to test my sugar all the time and would need to get an ultrasound later in the pregnancy to make sure the baby was not too big.
I knew from other friends experiences that ultrasounds tended to measure babies much larger than they are, and since I was planning a unmedicated birth, I did not want to find out or think ahead of time that I would be birthing a huge baby. 
At my next appointment with my midwife, I asked her if I had to have the ultrasound.  “No way, we wouldn’t do an elective c-section unless the baby was 11 pounds, and you are not having an 11 pound baby!”  So, then I asked about testing my sugar 3 times a day, every day.  “I do not want you testing all the time.  Your sugar is not going crazy and hormones can cause swings that have nothing to do with food.  I don’t want you to obsesss.”
Have I mentioned I love my midwife???
Then, on our wedding anniversary, my blood pressure popped up, really up.  I cried and cried, terrified we were headed toward preeclampsia again. And it did look like that was possible.  I was given strict orders not to go to work if my blood pressure was over certain numbers.  “Can I work from home?”  If you can do so laying on your left side.  Actually I can, so a few days I did.  I took my blood pressure every morning to make sure we were still okay.  I ended up in the hospital to be monitored a few times for that.  Each time the hospital would have me lay on my left side, then take it.  Well, laying on your left side will typically drop it like a rock, so every time I went in, they got a much lower reading.  I at one point told my midwife I was not going in anymore for the blood pressure.  She said, “oh yes you are.  You have to protect your baby.  And they [the hospital] are really cheating because they are having you lay there for a long time, but that is an artificially low reading, because you don’t live your life on your left side.”
Have I mentioned I love my midwife?
So, I was in her office twice a week for a non-stress test.  And almost every time, the baby required waking up.  Which then caused contractions to start up.  So we ended up monitoring both, the babies tolerance of my blood pressure and my level of contraction activity.  At first, I hated being in there so much, but then I realized, this was my time with the baby.  To hear the heartbeat tripping along and to see the contraction activity mapped out….they really were there, I wasn’t crazy.
Along came Thanksgiving.  I had been contracting almost every night for the week before.  Between 4 and 7 each night they would start, and settle into a nice pattern for a few hours, so every night, I would ask hubby if we should take Caitlyn to his parents and head to the birthing center or risk having to wake her up in the middle of the night.  Needless to say, for Thanksgiving, I was not up to being away from home.  I took a nap and hubby made us a beautiful dinner.
It was perfect.
Then my original due date came and went with not a single contraction.  But they were back the next day.
Monday night I contracted all night.  I told hubby on Tuesday I thought he should stay home, just in case.  The contractions, of course, stopped.  But I decided I HAD to make Amish friendship bread.  Right now.  But I was missing a few ingredients.  So asked hubby to head to the store.  He said, “why don’t we all go, see if we can get this baby moving and hav a baby in the produce section.”  So off we went.  No baby in the produce section.  And a few hours later, it was time for another midwife appointment.  Caitlyn and daddy went with me.  Caitlyn was really antsy, so daddy took her out.  My midwife found I was at 5 cm (out of 10 needed).  She said, “you’re one of those women who are going to be at 7 cm before you bother to really go into labor, aren’t you?”  Ummmm….I told her I was ready to get this baby out.  He or she had baked 2 days longer than Caitlyn.  Hotel mommy says to get out!  And my blood pressure was a little crazy and I was spilling some protein, so we agreed to sweep the membranes.  If the body is ready, this will start labor, if not, it will do a whole lot of nothing.  And if that didn’t work, the next morning I was supposed to drink 4 ounces of castor oil. I was really hoping to have a baby before I had to do that.  She did a quick ultrasound because she thought she felt baby’s hand near the head,  but it was just the ear, so she moved baby to get him/her straight.  Wowzers.  That was an experience.
So we headed home.  Hubby called his mom to give her an update.  I thought that was wierd because we didn’t normally do that.  I realized later he was warning his mom in case we needed her to come watch Caitlyn while we had a baby.  Ok, sometimes I am a little slow.
When we got home, I was antsy, just couldn’t settle down.  Finally about 9 pm, I went to bed.  I woke up about 11 and couldn’t get back to sleep so I watched TV until about midnight.  Then woke up again at 2:36 am.  Wow, oh wow.  Something was happening.  I told hubby I needed his help timing contractions.  When he didn’t move, I said, “fine, I’ll time my own stupid contractions.”  In his defense, we had done this a few times in the days leading up, but in my defense, these suckers were DIFFERENT!!!!!
So, I grabbed my laptop, which had a bookmarked website for timing contractions.  I thought I would time them for a while, but soon realized they were coming every 2 minutes and were 1 minute long.  I had thought I would watch a recorded webcast for work while timing contractions, but soon slammed the laptop shut and said, “I can’t do this right now.”  By this time hubby was with me.  I told him to call the midwife on-call line.  He did.  They normally want to talk to the mama, but they heard me yell, “tell them we’re not asking, tell them we’re coming!”  I took a quick shower (useless attempt), told hubby to call the neighbors because I didn’t have time for his mom to get there, they didn’t answer, I told him to run over there because I needed to go now.  But his mom got there really fast, so the neighbors got to sleep.  I yelled at hubby about something, woke up Caitlyn, felt terrible, hugged her and cried that mama was sorry.  Then headed out to the car.  I did not even wait for his mom to get in the house.  She said hello and I growled back, “what was I thinking?”
We started driving and I swear hubby intentionally hit every red light.  Sitting through those was horrible!!!!  I remember thinking, as we passed a hospital to go to the one with the birthing center, “man I wish I was going there, so I could just get out of this car!!!”  (Found out later I actually said that out loud…oooppps)
We got there, they rushed me in, got me up to the birthing center.  I was already at 6 cm.  Tried the labor pool, hated it, tried to lay down.  Hubby had to catch my head before I went under.  Got out.  Staggered to the bed, laid on my left side and that is how I labored the whole time.  Hubby said I would flail around between contractions, but as soon as one hit, I settled right back on my side.  I was really thirsty so hubby got me some water.  His main job was to pull it away when a contraction hit so it did not go all over me. 
I went into my own world.  I was totally unaware of the nurse or midwife being there.  Thought hubby left.  Didn’t care.  Felt like I got above the pain at some point.  Hubby started counting when a contraction would start.  I realized if I could make it to 42, I would not die and would get a break.  Then soon got confused because he would get to 42, and I wouldn’t get my break.  Was aware of my water breaking.  Didn’t know midwife was there so tried to explain it to hubby.  Turns out Sue was born immediately after water breaking, so no one really cared.
She was here. 3 hours and 47 minutes after I first woke up at home.  2 hours and 19 minutes after getting to the birthing center.  An hour after hubby called my mom to let her know to come (ummm, she didn’t quite make it in time for the birth).
She was here.  Natural birth was as amazing and empowering as I had hoped or dreamed it would be.  My body had done it.  I had done it.  She was here!!!!


So what do you think of your birthday?  Do you still get really excited, do you dread them or just think of them as another day?  I must say I love the attention of phone calls and now, since joining facebook, I really love all the greetings.  I love hearing from people from so many parts of my life. 

And the girls get so excited.  They love the balloons, the streamers, the candles on the cake and singing happy birthday, with a rousing, cha, cha, cha at the end.

Sue was just sure my birthday was on Wednesday.   Apparently they did the shopping for my birthday after daycare that day.  So I came home, and she met me with “it’s your birthday!”  So I explained, no tomorrow is mama’s birthday.  She looked at me, “it’s your birthday!”  We had this conversation about 6 times before I gave up…in her world, it was my birthday.

So Thursday my birthday actually came.  I got her up from her crib and I said, “today is mama’s birthday.”  She looked at me very confused and said, “It’s birthday today too?”  Something like that.

She greeted me very happily.  Caitlyn, on the other hand, was not so happy.  She wanted to wear the same shirt she had worn the day before.  I told her no.  She got mad.  She plopped down on the floor and started to cry, scream and kick her feet.  I told her she could wear the shirt (I know, bad parenting…) but she needed to stop throwing a fit.  She looked at me and said, “I didn’t throw anything.”   Ahhh, the things we explain to kids.

After work, I came home to decorations, cake (a huge cake) and wonderful presents. 

Thanks girlies and daddy for a great Birthday.  I am not thrilled with my age, and yesterday I was pregnant (still pregnant today, in case you were wondering) and moody, so I had a bad attitude part of the day, but you guys made it special, in a way only you can.  You mean the world to me and I love you!!!

My blog is not big enough yet for a giveaway in honor of my birthday, but another lady does have a giveaway today.  Check out the Polka Dot Chair for her birthday giveaway.

Biggest or Smallest Winners!

I have had this blog rolling around in my head for a while.  Let me start off by saying no one asked my opinion on this matter and no one is paying me a single cent…

A few seasons back, my hubby and I discovered the tv show “Biggest Loser.”  Now normally, we are not much for “reality” tv.  But this one grabbed our attention and is now the only show we intentionally watch every week. 

Why?  Because in some ways it hits home.  We both carry a few extra pounds, and I am not talking about the current baby pounds…and need motivation and inspiration to do something about it.

I personally have found Biggest Loser to be very motivational.  I feel extremely guilty if I have not exercised and I am watching the show.  Last week, I didn’t make it to the gym due to working late, so I did step aerobics for 30 minutes while I watched the contestants.  Pre-baby, I jogged during the show.  Now, at 28 weeks pregnant, jogging doesn’t have as much appeal…

We love to watch the transformations.  We love to see people go from just barely able to keep up with a 1/2 mile walk on day one, to truly a different person by the final 6…

Yes, we are well aware they are in a situation most of us are not.  Most of us do not have 6 hours a day to workout, or personal trainers, or nutritionists or medical supervision or the opportunity to focus so completely on our physical condition.

And does it happen the contestants go back to their old habits and regain weight? Yes, for some it does.  For all I know, maybe a significant number do.  But there are at least a few who do not.  And for those people, the show truly has made a huge difference.

It also can make a difference for people not on the show.  The Pound for Pound challenge they have started has helped many people, it gives them a goal to work toward while helping someone else.  Last season, I signed up to lose 15 pounds during the pound for pound challenge.  I didn’t quite make goal.  I lost about 10 pounds, but losing it not only helped me, but food was donated to food banks due to my hard work.

Beyond that, my workplace has added a similar program where people can sign up to participate in a weight loss challenge and for every pound lost, the company will donate 25 cents to a food bank, which equals about 1 pound of food.  Again, it benefits many people, those who need to change their eating and those who need the food to eat.  It is a win-win situation!

And again, maybe not everyone keeps the weight they lose off, but a few do.  The show may not solve our obesity problem in America, but if it helps just a few, doesn’t that matter?  It sure does.  We have to start somewhere.  So tonight, like many other Tuesday’s, I will start by making sure I go to the gym before the show and if I am still full of energy, I’ll do a few extra minutes of step aerobics while watching.

Here is me the day I earned my 100 workout shirt at the gym.  I was very proud to have earned it and even more so to be working out while pregnant.  I was almost 16 weeks along in this photo.  At 28 weeks, I can no long fit in the shirt, but I have it for when I can!!!  And will be well on my way to earning my 200 workout shirt.  I did not workout during my first two pregnancies.  I am thrilled to still be going to the gym, even though the intensity of workouts isn’t quite there, I still am!

Birth Stories–I’ve got 2 and a 3rd on the way


I missed the blog hop yesterday hosted by Mama M but I liked the idea, so thought I would share mine today.  (You can head over to her blog to read lots of them where other mama’s shared and linked up.)

Let’s start by saying, I have 87 days until my due date with baby 3.  Thanks, just had to get that out there…

My two stories diverge and merge at various points.

During my first pregnancy, I didn’t know where to even start.  I had never gone to an OB/GYN, just a family doctor, so what to do.  I started by going to my family doctor to confirm there was in fact a new family member coming and then said, what do I do now?  She gave me the name of an OB.  The ladies in the office kept saying how wonderful he was.  No one ever mentioned he had a partner that was, well, nasty and rotten, and probably should be employed in a job that DOES NOT involve people.  Anyway…

I went to my first few appointments.  Sometimes I saw him and he seemed nice enough.  As I began to research labor and deliivery and realized I wanted to go as unmedical as possible, he seemed supportive.  She, on the other hand was not.  I asked once, “what can I do to avoid a C-section?”  “Don’t gain too much weight.”  Helpful, thanks.  Really thought about that answer, huh? 

Then early on I started to swell, a lot.  Not the some that I see other women swell, I mean A LOT!  Each time I asked, they just said, well some women swell more.  Okay, people, I am telling you this was not normal…nope.

It turned out I needed to travel to France for work during my 2nd trimester.  I checked with them right away.  They said it was fine, checked with them again, still fine.  Then had the OB (insert witchy woman) write me a letter for the airlines.  I watched her write it on her script pad.

It was time for me to travel.  I swelled more.  I could not even wear my tennis shoes.  I was getting pretty freaked out.  I had hubby call the OB.  They said, “she’s in France?  We didn’t know she was going there.” 

Yeah, thanks.  I had been thinking about changing to a midwife before that happened.  At that moment I decided to make the switch even if I was 30+ weeks along.  There had to be better care out there.

So as soon as I got home I contacted a midwife I found on-line.  She worked at a local hospital that also had a birthing center.  Things I had dreamed of for my delivery, but seemed impossible, were standard practice for them.  We made the switch.  Best decision we ever made.

All the sudden at 36-37 weeks that swelling every one ignored, became a big issue.  I developed reflex issues, and started spilling protein and my blood pressure went crazy.  At 38 weeks I was put on bedrest.  I went in at 38 weeks 6 days just for a test, and asked them to check my blood pressure since I was there.  All the sudden all heck broke loose.  I went from, can you check my blood pressure to the OB coming in and saying, “we need to get this baby born today.  You need to go to the hospital.”  This was the only appointment hubby did not come to because it wasn’t really an appointment.  I called him hysterical from the parking lot.  “They say I have to be induced. I have to have the baby right now.”  He came and got me.  We came home, cleaned up the house, went to lunch (brilliant) and headed there.

Everything was so different than what I expected.  All the sudden they wanted IVs, monitors, drugs, all the interventions we did not want.  I saw my birthing center birth slipping away.

At 9 pm they started the induction.  Contractions started about 3 hours later.  About 2 hours after that I woke up hubby as I needed help coping through the contractions.  I still wanted to go without an epidural if I could.  I made it 12 hours without meds.  Then I decided to try the Sta-dol as that was a med they even had in the birthing center.  The 45 minutes of relief I got was so nice, I asked hubby if maybe after that wore off I could try an epidural.  He said, “of course you can, why not?”  I said, “but we had planned to go with no meds.” 

Thankfully that Labor and Delivery was known for their “walking epidural” which means you get some relief but still have feeling and know what is going on.

My blood pressure kept going up, even with the magnesium sulfate, but the midwives, who were with me even in labor and delivery, let me keep going since I was still, just barely, in the safe zone.  Apparently I become very inter-focussed when I am in labor.  I did not notice looks or comments between people, I didn’t really care what was going on while I dealt with contractions.

At one point my mom asked the midwife, “when are we in trouble?”  The midwife said, “when that bottom number (of my BP) hits 110, all heck breaks loose.”  It was 107. 

I kept going.  Even when one midwife went off duty telling me I was 9 cm, and the next came in and said I was 6 or 7.  My mom was mad as she said it looked like all the fight went out of me, but honestly, I don’t remember it changing anything.  I argued with the midwife and went back to work.  It seemed to me those 3 cm went by really fast the second time around.

Then all the sudden, it seemed like the contractions changed, like in order to survive them, I needed to push.  But I knew if you pushed too soon it could cause problems.  It just happened at that moment there were no midwives or nurses around.  I tried to tell hubby and my mom to get the midwife because things seemed different, but they didn’t seem to understand.  They just told me I was doing a good job.  So I explained again.  “You need to get the midwife now.  I am telling you, things are different,” so off went hubby.  Turns out it was time to push!!!

So, as discussed beforehand, everyone left, expect hubby, the nurse and midwife…and me of course.

I must say, I hated directed pushing.  There were times I really wanted to push and the midwife would say no, not yet.  But I knew I needed to push.  I thought at one point, they moved me to another bed and I went through a tunnel.  Ummm, later, everyone told me no, no one moved you.  Like I said, I go into my own world when I am having a baby.

I remember asking the nurse once if the baby was almost here.  She said, “well Jessica (the midwife) just went to get her garb on, and that means it is almost time.”  Those were great words.

They offered me a mirror to see my baby being born.  Heck no.

Hubby said he had no idea where I got the strength to continue, but I just kept diggind down inside and giving it a bit more.  I knew I just wanted to find out if my baby was a girl or a boy, and wanted to be done and wanted to have done it without a c-section.

And finally, I was done.  And they were putting a baby on my belly.  And I was asking what it was, a girl or a boy…and the midwife said, “we’re waiting for your hubby to get over here and tell you.”  And then he said beautiful words, “it’s a girl.”  My response, “are you sure?”  Hubby said, “yup.”  Jessica said, “I say it’s a girl.”  The nurse said, “It’s a girl.”  Jessica said, “that’s three of us, it’s a girl.”

“Can we use the name we planned,” I asked.

“Yes, we can.” 

And that is how we finally got Caitlyn here, 25 1/2 hours of labor, but she was here.

And as my precious girl lay on my chest, I said, “we love you and we pray you come to know Jesus as your Savior very young, that’s all that matters.”

This post has ended up being very long, so I think we should save Sue for another day.  My two girls, my wonderful hubby and this baby to come, mean the world to me.  I pray they always, always know that.

Happy Mother’s Day.

Our beautiful girl.

A Touch of Unexpected Sadness

My hubby and I both had dogs before we met each other,  His and her dogs.  He is black lab Misty and my doxie Stuie.  They were our friends and companions.  Stuie (who’s full name is Stuart Little, Mommy’s Dackal) was my baby.  At the time I was very, very sick due to Multiple Sclerosis.  I never thought I would find someone willing to date me and marry me, and if that did happen, I thought I was too sick to have kids, so Stuie was my baby.

And my hubby had his Mistydog.  Truth be told, she was a good teacher for Stuie.  She was quite well trained.

Fast forward a few years.  We got married and now have two little girls, with baby 3 coming very soon (89 days til due date if you were wondering!).

Recently, Misty started to lose weight and hair, so I took her to the vet.  Turns out she had a liver issue.  While hubby and I talked and prayed over the next week about how much to do about/for Misty, she went really down hill, really fast.  Just one week after taking her to the vet it became apparent our dog was really sick and would be leaving us soon. 

So Monday hubby took her in to the vet.  She was so sick and so miserable.  There was no doubt. 

I was shocked at how hard it was to know she would not be here when I came home from work.  To add to the agony, over the weekend Sue and Caitlyn decided they adored Misty.  Sue claimed her as her own.  Great timing, huh?

Daddy got the task of explaining it to the girls.  Misty was old, died and went to doggie heaven.  I have gotten to explain it several more times today, with Caitlyn declaring “I miss Misty, mommy.”  So do I my little girl, more than I ever dreamed I would.

Stuie is cashing in a little bit.  He is getting a lot more attention and time with all of us.  But I think right now he is a little confused and, if possible, a little sad too. 

My mother-in-law said it best though, “we sure open ourselves up to a lot of hurt when we open ourselves up to love with a pet.  But would we have it any other way?”  No, pets are part of our life.  They are part of what makes our family, our family…whether it is one of our 3 fishes or our doggies.

We love them and now one, we miss.  But boy the table scraps are probably pretty awesome in doggie heaven.

Another Day of Random Thoughts and Kid Quotes

When we introduced the idea of another baby to Caitlyn and Sue, we got them the Bearenstain Bears, New Baby book.  In it, Sister Bear punches Brother Bear in the nose the first time he meets his new little sister.  Apparently this idea stuck with Caitlyn.  The other day she leaned against my ever growing pregnant belly to give me a hug, then pulled away and said, “The baby punched me!”

Caitlyn also declared, to Sue, at some point during the day, “You are just the cutest thing!”

Sue, on the other hand, had this to say to Caitlyn, “I can share with you, but not very well.  Not very well.”
At least her self assessment is pretty accurate!

Sue is sometimes a stinker.  One of her newest found joys is to drive her older sister crazy.  Caitlyn is, for the most part, a very careful rule follower.  She takes them to heart and then takes on the responsibility of reminding people of the rules when they break them, and particularly, telling mommy when Sue breaks them.  One such rule is we do not say stupid and we do not say shut up.  Sue glories in breaking these rules.

One day a week or so ago, I found Sue standing in front of an open window that faces the driveway.  There were no people in our driveway, and the neighbors were not even home. But she is standing there saying, “[s]tupid, tupid, tupid, tupid, tupid” over and over.  I smiled and walked away (she did not know I was there or I would have corrected it).  She continued until Caitlyn came in the room.  She stopped as Caitlyn yelled, “Sue is saying stupid out the window to the driveway!”  I smiled again as I went on folding laundry.

Yesterday we went to a festival about 3 hours from our house.  It is one we have been wanting to go to for a few years, but it never worked out.  I know my days of comfortably doing all day outings are getting numbered as I reach the third trimester tomorrow (yay!), so off we went.  The morning started off raining here and at our destination, but it cleared up over there and was perfect, not too hot and not too cold.

We saw lots of flowers–Caitlyn wanted to smell all of them, but tulips don’t really have a smell.
 And we played in the “jump jumps.”
And met “Hat the Cat” (doesn’t Caitlyn look thrilled?).  Sue loved it.  She had to go back to give him high five and cried when we did not go back a 3rd time!
Then we met up with some friends at the beach.  The very cold beach.  It is not quite beach weather here yet.  Oh well, they didn’t seem to mind and it was GREAT visiting our friends.

Daddy and the girls built a sand castle, while mama tried not to freeze. 

We drove back very late last night!  Due to the weather, and concerns over me overdoing it, we did not do the MS walk today.  We will wait on that until after the baby is born.  September 11 is the date, so if you were wanting to donate using my link under important links, there is lots of time for you to help me out!  And incidently, the walk we will do is back in the same town where we visited the beach yesterday!!!!