Monthly Archives: February 2012

Little Bit of Progress–Disappointed it Wasn’t More

I lost 1 pound last week, which put me within 1 pound of losing 10 percent of my body weight.  I really thought I would do it…but my body did not allow me to hit the goal.

I will admit, I was very disappointed when I lost .4.  I did not succeed in hiding my disappointment from the lady who had to give me the mixed news.  I mean, I lost weight.  Who can be upset about that?  But it was less than 1/2 of what I thought I would hit. 

Have you ever lost weight and been disappointed?  How did you regroup?  Part of my process of regaining was realizing I wore a single digit blazer to work for the second day in a row.  It has been a long time since I did that. 

I felt really cute today so I had hubby take a picture…I thought one picture made me look horribly fat so I made him take another…


Linking up with the lovely Alicia!

This Week, More Thanks 360-381

This week has to be better than last.  It just has to.  The crying and hiding at work is getting old.  The praying no one talks to me is getting old.

The last few days have been better.  We are almost done raising my medication dose and the last couple days seemed easier with that.  I am praying that is still the case when I am at work and trying to sit still!

In the midst of it all, there is much to be thankful for:


360 (90).  A clean basement.  Brought about by a flood, but it is clean now.

361 (91).  Weather warm enough for running outside.

362 (92).  Girls having fun at a birthday party.

363 (93).  Smiles and giggles from Patrice.

364 (94).  The girls sleeping with their light off at night.

365 (95).  A good sale on some new work clothes.

366 (96).  Being able to buy a size smaller in tops, even a single digit size dress jacket!

367 (97).  A redesigned blog (Thank you Lauren)

368 (98).  Girls being sweet as we volunteered at the food bank.

369 (99).  Husband willing to give time consistently to volunteer.

370 (100).  A good chiropractor.

371 (101).  Headphones to listen to music at work.

372 (102).  Pretty snow.

373. (103).  A car that does well in the snow.

374 (104).  Doctor teaching me how to deal with Caitlyn’s tattling.

375 (105).  Caitlyn asking to spell, I am thankful for my family and our walk.

376 (106).  Sue telling me Friday was a special day because it was loving and caring day.

377 (107).  Cuddles with Sue before work.

378 (108).  Dewy morning smiles from Patrice.

379 (109).  P!ink

380. (110).  Dance parties with my girls.

381 (111).  Mornings that do not include yelling at the girls.

Please come see my guest post

I am guest posting today at NAMI Massachusetts, National Alliance on Mental Illness. Please come visit!

Let me know if you are interested in having me do a guest post or if you would like to write one here. My blog is Faith, Family, Mental Health.

Helping as a Family–Gleaners Food Bank

I grew up in a rural area.  There was no place for people to be begging.  I was in my 30s before I saw my first beggar.  I was out for a girls’ night when I was several months pregnant with Sue.  The group of us had gone to dinner and were walking around the city area.  Everybody decided to get some ice cream.  I didn’t really want any, but I got a small dish.  Baby said there was no room for it.  So I started to throw it away.  I had taken 1-2 bites.  A guy, grabbed it as it fell and said “can I have it?”  I stuttered yes and was changed forever.

I have always been a giver when it comes to food drives, toy drives, book drives.  You name it.  I grew up very poor.  We benefited from people’s generosity more than once.  But the ice cream experience was different.  How do I get truly involved now?

Hubby and I talked about it more than once.  I wish for anything I could go back to that night and take the guy to get a real meal rather than eating my leftovers.  I’ve known since that day our family would be getting involved.  We just had to wait a bit for the girls to get old enough.

I volunteered at Gleaners Food Bank right before Christmas for a few hours through work.  I talked to the volunteer coordinator and found ot my girls were now old enough.  She has worked with kids as young as 20 months!

This last week we made up fliers for the neighborhood asking for food donations to take with us.  The girls were thrilled to find a few bags for us to take.

Yesterday we loaded them up and off we went.

Miss Sarah taught us that food insecurity affects 1 in 5 people. And that the people aren’t all on the street. They can look just like us. Last year Gleaners distributed 40,000 million pounds of food to food banks, schools, senior centers, soup kitchens.

The 943 bags we packed will go to kids throughout the metro area who are food insecure. The box of cereal, cans of veggies, fruit and ravioli will go home with them so they can eat when school isn’t in session.

If you are looking for a volunteer opportunity contact Sarah Blight at at the Gleaners Oakland Distribution Center.

Sue really loved her job!

Faith is Hard–Secret Mommyhood Confessions

As I recently talked about, I am worth fighting the depression for, and I am worth Jesus dying for, but that last part is hard.

Faith is not easy.  We have to choose to believe things we can’t explain completely.  Faith in God is not the only time we do that, we actually do every single day.  I can’t explain gravity, but I know it is true.

But faith is different in that it is a relationship with God.  It is opening ourselves and trusting Him.  Again, faith is not the only time we do this, we do it with friendships, spouses, children, but those we can see and understand.  We understand people being sad, failing, being angry.  We get that.  But God?  We can’t see Him.  We can’t read His facial expressions.  We can’t feel His arms around us.  It is hard to trust someone you never see or hear.

It’s even harder when your soul hurts.

I’ve dealt with various illnesses.  All of them drain you, but none has sapped the soul like depression.  None have every taken my ability to pray.  None have made me scared of church.

Depression does that.

How do you go to church when you are just going to cry?  How do you pray when you have no words?  How do you believe God can love you when you hate yourself?

Depression is hard and it steals the faith that could make it easier.

Linking up with Secret Mommyhood Confessions. and Things I Can’t Say.


What To Do With Emotion

As I mentioned before, the therapist correctly identified that I get overwhelmed by my emotions and attempt to turn them off.  The Good, the bad, the ugly.

A large part of that comes from rejecting emotions that aren’t founded in reason or have a good explanation.

This week, twice, I have experienced irrational anger.  Over the top and without true cause.  I don’t know what to do with it, so I tell myself it is wrong, illogical or doesn’t make sense and force myself to push it away.

Personally, it has always seemed logical to me.  The doctor thinks it is where a lot of my depression comes from.  He says, the anger is real and it has to go somewhere, and the way I am dealing with it is to pull it internal.  And for my effort, I get depression and anxiety.

Okay, y’all…do you agree with the doctor’s assessment in general?  What do you do with anger that is not based in an actual situation or in a situation that can be changed or improved?  I really could use some input here.  I *think* he’s right, but I don’t know what to do from here.


I need to figure this out for me, my girls and my hubby.

Linking up for Thought Provoking Thursday.


Weight Loss Wednesday–Dinner

First, for the good news…I lost another pound this week for a total of 13 lbs.  I am so close to 10% lost (go ahead do the math on about how much I’ve been carrying on my 4 ft. 9 inch frame).  My wedding ring now spins on my finger.  I’m going to have to do something to keep it on while I continue to lose.  My gift to me will be sizing my ring–down!

Dinner is definitely my failure in each day.  My hubby cooks and is wonderful cook.  But he, and the girls, are not doing weight watchers.  So my plan each day is to track my breakfast and lunch and try to eat a sensible dinner.  Right now, it is working okay, but I am sure as I get closer to my goal, I will have to sort out my dinners.

One way I try to influence it more, is by doing meals in the crockpot.  It helps out hubby and gives me a little more control.  This last week I cooked a whole chicken in the crockpot.  It was super easy.

1 whole chicken, frozen or thawed.


Put whole chicken in crockpot, season as desired.  Cook 5-8 hours.  Remove.  It will come apart very easily.

We ate it first as baked chicken, the second night we made chicken soup.

I also recently made Chicken Fajita Stirfry and Crockpot Lasagna.

I could use more ideas.  What are your go tos for cooking?  I am definitely going to be checking out some of Alicia’s ideas.

Tired, Angry and Thankful 350-359

I got the best night sleep last night I’ve had in weeks.  Yet, I am so tired I was falling asleep at work.  I wanted to exercise so desperately tonight, but there was too much to be done.  My emotions got the best of me and I became irrationally irate and angry.  I am so thankful for the friends who talked me down.

350 (80). Watching little girls write their names

351 (81).  Little girl tennis shoes

352 (82).  Music, both by professionals and by my hubby and kids practicing the piano

353 (83).  Patrice curled up froggy style on daddy’s chest

354 (84).  Feeling emotion, both good and bad

355 (85).  Calming stretches

356 (86).  Watching daddy play with little girls

357 (87).  Guest posting at new blog homes

358 (88).  Doctors who return phone calls

359 (89).  Clean bedrooms


Guest Posting for Mental Health Mondays

Please join me at

As I tell part of my journey with postpartum depression and where I am now…learning, growing, surviving til I’m thriving.

Let me know if you are looking for guests posts.  I am working on getting the message out there about depression, but also have cute kids to share, crafts, projects, and recipes.


I Actually Made Dinner!

Follow Me on Pinterest
Pinterest and blogging has made me want to be a better homemaker and wife.  I think I have stayed away from guilt, but I try to make more time to do crafts with the girls, clean the house and actually cook.  My motives aren’t 100% pure, because part of my goal is to have things to post and pin, but the results are a positive, so it’s a win-win, right?

I made dinner last night.  I saw a pin on pinterest for fajitas.  I decided we should have those.  And I even had chicken strips in the freezer.  Lo and behold, they were even fajita seasoned.

So I headed off to pick some stuff up for the week at the grocery store.  I just had to get corn tortillas, and more peppers.

Daddy was understandably concerned the girls would not eat them, so we added rice to the mix.  Turns out that wasn’t enough, they still didn’t eat it and ended up with peanut butter and jelly, so dinner was served with a nice dose of anxiety and stress, but beyond that, we ended up with a fajita stir fry.  It was yummy!

The ingredients included:

  • 20 oz package of fajita seasoned chicken strips
  • 2 handfuls of mini sweet peppers
  • 1 can of black beans
  • Brocolli
  • 1 cup of water.
  • Mix it all together and simmer.

Separately make white (or brown) rice.  Serve all together on fajita size corn tortillas.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!