Two Years Later

Okay so 2 years ago, my postpartum depression and anxiety got to be too much.  I could no longer cope.  All I could think was, get Patrice to my midwife, she can take her home and love her; daddy can handle the other two.  So I packed the diaper bag, got the kids in the van and headed to my midwife’s office.  I waited for her, then begged her to take Patrice.  As I sobbed.  That was the end of October, almost 2 years ago.

I wish I could tell you those thoughts are all gone.  Most of the time I am okay.  But my flight feeling is still strong.

Today, I desperately want to run.  I want to call my midwife and escape.

If only people knew what kind of horrible mom I am.

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