My girls are young. 7, 6 and 3. That time can be intense. They need a lot. They want a lot. They are around a lot. And that’s okay. I love where I am.
I am keenly aware they will grow up and leave home much too soon. I remember having a panic attack in a store when Caitlyn was about a month old because she was growing up too quickly. Truthfully, she has been leaving me since the midwife first put her on my belly and the cord was cut.
I know people. Trust me I know. When I am full on honest, that is a big part of why I am undertaking homeschooling. God lent me these girls to raise, and I am going to do it.
But I am not always 1000% present. I check in on my phone a lot. I sometimes let daddy read them a book (okay, most of the time). It is not uncommon for them to be watching TV while I am blogging or lesson planning. My house isn’t always clean (or ever) and I can’t blame it on all the wonderful activities the girls and I are doing. I get short tempered on a regular basis and I mourn when I don’t get any time alone.
I am not perfect. I wish I were better. And those darn Facebook Memes don’t help. They so sweetly and cutely remind us how quickly are children are growing up. And serve a big, fat, huge, pretentious helping of guilt and tears. I HATE THEM.
They don’t make me love my kids more, they make me hate myself. They make me cry and tear myself down. None of them give me a single more second of time with my kids. Rather, they make me grumpy. They make me want more space FROM my kids. I HATE THEM.
I really wish the people posting them would stop. Yeah, just quit. I don’t know who you are and I can only assume your kids are grown and gone. I am going to assume you are not looking at the reality of raising small kids, of being needed every moment. I am going to assume how you have forgotten the need for space, the desire for the laundry to stay done for more than an hour, and the nightly dinner fights to get the picky child to take JUST ONE FREAKING BITE! Yup, I am going to assume the years have given you a myopic view of reality.
So I am left with your sappy, syrupy view of life with kids and a big old heaping of guilt. And nobody wins. Lovely.
Please, just please, posting ALL THAT SWEETNESS, and come clean my house instead! And we’ll all be happy.
Survive til you Thrive!
