Bipolar Disorder is Stupid

Catchy title, huh?  It’s about all I have right now.

The last few days have been a blur of too many thoughts, extra medication, and too much sleep.  I am so frustrated to be back here again.  Fighting the same demons, the same evil thoughts.  I am tired and the battle has just begun.

I am already tired of platitudes.  I understand it is because people don’t know what to do or say, but telling me to be happy and it will change my thoughts, yeah no.  Bipolar doesn’t work that way.

Bipolar chips away at your thought processes until there is either only one thought in your mind, or hundreds of thoughts going much too quickly to be anything constructive.

I can’t stand all the thoughts so I take an extra Xanax (it’s okay to do that, it is prescribed for as needed) and I become so tired and move so slow.  My thoughts don’t really slow down, but I become too tired to try and sort them out.

And sometimes, that is what I need–that is enough.