Praying For A Miracle

Last night I went to my 2nd weight watchers meeting.  I drove past the hospital I have been in twice for depression and anxiety.  The treatment there was so-so, but most importantly it kept me safe, from myself.

As I drove past, I looked longingly at the entrance.  And seriously considered skipping my meeting to check myself in.

The last nine days have been so hard.  I wanted to run away a week ago Sunday.  I was all ready to go, but hubby wouldn’t let me have the keys.  He said there was no way I was going to drive in that state.

I wish he would have let me.

But I am still here.  I am still here trying to be a wife.  Trying to be a mother.  Trying to be a human being.

Dude it’s hard.

At the urging of a friend, I called my doctor yesterday, twice.

Those calls got me an appointment today and a plan with the doctor to rework my meds.  We are going to up at least one of them, see if there others that can be adjusted, and see what can be added.  The adjustments may very well, very likely cause more fatigue and make functioning harder, but that is a risk worth taking right now.

I am praying the doctor and I can come up with a miracle medication concoction.