You Know What’s Hard?

Okay, I know I am forever coming on here and blogging about what I think is hard.  There are a lot of things I think are hard.  There’s paying attention to life when my medication puts me in a fog of understanding, there’s focusing on my children when the depression or mania are twisting my mind in every direction, there’s leaving my house when I am terrified of the world and that people might talk to me.  And there’s convincing people of the truth.

That’s hard.

I have a truth I desperately need particular people to hear and believe.  I need them to hear my words and know they are said in all honesty.  I need them to know there is even more truth I don’t even know how to express.

The problem is, I have to rely on communication.  And communication itself is flawed.

I remember learning in high school and college how communication is one person, the sender, relaying information to another person, the receiver.  It seems simple and in theory is, but real life is much more complicated.  Each sender and receiver comes to the process with their own thoughts, feelings, assumptions that complicate the process.

Well, I need to find a way to get through all those impediments to express the truth and reality I live in.  Day in and day out.

I’m not sure I know how to do that.  I have 10 days until my first attempt, 13 until the next time I have to get the words out, and ultimately a couple weeks into February to get all the words out perfectly to get three people to understand the truth, understand the life I lead.

That’s really not much time to do all of that.

Survive til you Thrive!

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