Category Archives: kidlets

What a Household

Posted on January 6, 2025 | Leave a comment

I have been writing on this blog off and on since the girls were so little, and now they are quickly moving on to adulthood. Caitlyn is in her second semester at a local university. Sue is already a licensed cosmetologist at barely 17 years old, and Patrice is slugging through 9th/10th grade classwork.

So many great things going on but it is not all easy. The bipolar thought it would be fun to give me the hardest year in a decade. TFG was re-elected president and will continue his destruction of our country. Wars continue to rage.

After the election, I was so angry and disillusioned by the church and God for allowing the results that I determined I would no longer be following Christ. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to attend church in order not to split my family and how to be around people who claim to be Christians but could choose such a horrid man who has blasphemed God as their leader.

I still don’t know how Christians could ever vote for him but I am choosing to accept that they can be so very wrong and still be Christians. I don’t get it. I hate it. I am so angry and gutted and scared. But being a follower of Christ is like breathing to me. I literally don’t know how to live without my faith so I hang on when I don’t know how. I hang on when I don’t want to. I hang on amidst all the anger and failings of myself and others.

I leave the house as little as possible as the anxiety and fear have gotten so bad with the bipolar, it is tough to go places. I am well-medicated and it has helped but it is still so hard. It is also hard having the girls out and doing so much. I am only really truly happy when they are all home and safe.

It is hard to live in this space of fear and anger but here I am, day in and day out, for now.

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Posted in Bipolar Disorder, Faith, kidlets

The Year of the Ox

Posted on February 13, 2021 | Leave a comment

I just went running into my daughters’ room to tell them the one phrase I know in Chinese–Happy New Year. You see, years ago I was engaged to a guy who’s maternal grandparents were originally from China. The relationship with him was a total bust (whew) but I adored his grandmother and I learned how to say Happy New Year.

Man, his family was good to me–but I digress.

Fast forward many years to 2012. Caitlyn and Sue were enrolled at the local elementary school. The school had asked families to unplug for the week. I failed miserably, but the school also sent home some activity ideas. It was this time of year and it was Chinese New Year so I made my first attempt at making Chinese food. I don’t remember the food at all but a tradition was born.

Every year we do our best to make Chinese food for the Lunar New Year.

Caitlyn chose her recipes, I bought the ingredients. She cooked for hours to make us spring rolls, dumplings, and wonton soup. I made beef broccoli (pretty sure that is not authentic but we like it…). Patrice was her assistant in this process. She used carrots and purple cabbage to make the dumplings orange and purple. Making fortune cookies failed us, per usual, but it was fun. Caitlyn wrote little fortunes. Mine was, “You will give Caitlyn money soon”, daddy got, “don’t tell anyone, but I poisoned your food” and Patrice got, “Did you thank Caitlyn for this wonderful food?” Sue also gets to give Caitlyn money…since the cookies failed, I taped everyone’s fortune to a piece of candy.

It was really good and as Caitlyn said, “well, it kept me off my phone all afternoon.” Maybe the school did accomplish something all those years ago… 😉

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Posted in Caitlyn, holidays, kidlets, Patrice, winter

Protecting Me

Posted on August 22, 2018 | Leave a comment

How do you do it? How do you homeschool your kids?

Some days, I don’t know. I love homeschooling my kids and having them with me. That closeness is a lot of why I first considered homeschooling. But I am, at my core, an introvert who requires time to recharge on my own–alone–away from people–quietly–and there is not a lot of that when you are a stay-at-home homeschooling mom of three girls, ages 8, 10, and 12.

And there is the husband who likes to talk. And going to church with people. And I have an amazing tribe of women in my life that I love spending time with.

All of these things are fantastic, and I wouldn’t change them, but I can end up tapped out before the day even begins.

That’s where distance running comes in. Today, I logged 7 miles with Frazier. It was incredible. I waved at a few people and they waved at me, I listened to a book on Intercessory Prayer, told the dog to heel, and ran for over an hour and a half…that’s it. For once, I didn’t wish I were a faster runner, though I am a little embarrassed to say how long my runs take, I just felt the power of being able to put one foot in front of the other for that long. And when I finished, I knew I could have gone farther, likely, much farther.

I am home now, needing to take a shower, but I wanted to process some of this first. The gift that is the time it takes me to run the distances I want to go.

The school year will start the week after next. There will be more in my day and the time to run my distances I love so much will be harder to find, but find them I will, no matter what it takes.

I am blessed to have the time with my girls. I am blessed to have my time to run…one makes the other possible.

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Posted in exercising, Half Marathon, Homeschool, kidlets, running

Writing MoJo

Posted on November 2, 2017 | 2 comments

So every November there is a challenge to write every day, whether that is in completing a novel or blogging every day. I have decided to try to blog every day in November.

And my mind is blank.

I had a post in mind, even written in my mind but now it is gone.

I am not one to write much about current events. I’m actually in good shape concerning my mental health. I haven’t been running much. I seem to have lost my running mojo and my writing mojo.

Sigh.

Life is incredibly good. And busy. So very busy.

I have three kids, each in their own activities. I am trying to get back to running. I am trying to lose a number of pounds by tracking my calories. My house needs a lot of TLC and cleaning. I recently got frustrated with my lack of real cooking so have been attempting to make at least one meal per week from scratch. I have dreams of getting all loads of laundry into the dryer before they have to be rewashed…but let’s not get crazy here folks.

Tonight’s dinner was pot roast

Running my first half marathon

Patrice is amazingly strong in gymnastics

Caitlyn is totally into the rock painting craze

Decked out in my Candy Corn shirt

Second year of cross country

Learning how to make kuba with new friends

Hanging out at a corn maze for a friends birthday shindig

And Sue is in A Christmas Carol so rehearsals are ramping up. In between we do our schooling, church activities, and spent time with friends!!

Life is never dull moment around here!

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Posted in #nablopomo, kidlets

It’s All in Fun

Posted on November 1, 2017 | 2 comments

An hour and a half is all it took us to get all that loot (and you aren’t seeing Caitlyn’s hall). It was fun. But I am not sure how my oldest feels about it. She went door-to-door but she seemed uncomfortable. Candy is good, but I wouldn’t be surprised if next year she decides it is not worth it. It is interesting. You could see she was uncomfortable most of the evening, but Sue, just a year younger was all about ringing bells, knocking on doors and saying trick or treat. Two little girls, so very different.

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Posted in holidays, kidlets

Another Glimpse

Posted on August 22, 2017 | Leave a comment

I don’t think this is the first time, but I thought a glimpse into the hypomania side of bipolar disorder might be an okay idea today.

But first, check out this cute.

My girls are so beautiful and I am so proud of them. They keep me moving literally, mentally, and emotionally.

And lately, I have been moving…non-stop. It started with just busyness. Sue was finishing up practices and launching into performances for Seussical. It was phenomenal.

But it’s done–thing is, I can’t stop keep moving. Yes, life is busy, but I should be capable of slowing down, of stopping. I’m not. Having open time fills me with overwhelming panic and dread, like everything is going to fall apart if I stop for one single minute.

On the upside, there is always a lot to be done. Even hypomania can’t get me on top of all of it, but I am using it as much as possible.

Today included planning and organizing for the upcoming school year, laundry, and a million other little things.

This has been going on for weeks, which is not normal for me, and my thinking is starting to get much harder to control, my anger at things is out of proportion, I am over thinking EVERYTHING, so on and so forth.

Monday, it was time to call the doctor, so I did. He upped a med and I am headed to his office tomorrow.

I know it will get sorted out. Hypomania has always been a strange bedfellow for me, but one that can be helped. I know help is coming.

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Posted in Bipolar Disorder, Caitlyn, Homeschool, hope, kidlets, Patrice, Sue

Sunshine Thoughts

Posted on July 28, 2017 | Leave a comment

Once, sometimes twice, a summer my daughters convince me to take them to the local waterpark. There is a nice big wave pool, a waterslide, a lazy river, and a kids area. And the place is really clean. A dream come true for three little girls.

Unfortunately, their mother does not enjoy water parks. At all. A couple years ago I put them off week after week until we ended up at the water park the last day it was open. Last year we actually went twice.

Then there was this year.

It is nice because besides the wave pool, they can go in by themselves and I just have to watch.

Wednesday was our chosen day. Sue packed the lunches and water willingly and quickly. They each got their suits and towels and did a great job with their sunscreen. I even remembered to put on sunscreen this year.

All was going well. And yet…I was grumpy. And this year, I totally failed at hiding my disdain for the water park. The girls were exemplary and the crowds weren’t even overwhelming, but I was just fit to be tied. But the fun must go on. Sue decided to sit out the water slide and read her new book.

Sue decided to sit out the water slide and read her new book. Caitlyn, on the other hand, went down the slide several times. Patrice even got in on the fun and this year was able to exit the slide without going under.

And we had to have some of their massive, decently priced, snow cones…

Patrice had one too and boy did I hear it when she discovered I didn’t take her picture too!!

The girls obeyed, didn’t beg for a thing, thanked me over and over for taking them and were really…perfect…but I, was not.

I managed to get badly burned even though I put on sunscreen twice and I just acted like a brat all day long. Thing is, I had no reason to. Believe me when I say the girls couldn’t have been on better behavior.

I got home and was just needing some time, so I went upstairs, laid down on my bed and began to pray. And I quickly realized there was something I needed to say to the girls.

“Thank you for being so good today. I know I had a bad attitude about the water park, and the thing is, it had nothing to do with you guys or taking you. I enjoy taking you to fun things. And you guys made it so easy today. You listened, you obeyed, you did what you were supposed to, you didn’t whine or complain, you didn’t beg. None of my unhappiness had to do with you guys. I love seeing you having fun and playing. And you were so sweet today.”

I can’t go back and undo my attitude, but hopefully, I can help them see, I was not at all unhappy with them and how we can handle things when we have a bad attitude.

Hopefully, that will be the memory of this years’ visit to the water park.

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Posted in kidlets, Summer fun

School Never Stops

Posted on July 21, 2017 | Leave a comment

We’ve been having fun this summer. We visit with friends every week, we play with Frazier, we go to parks, we go for a run when it is cool enough, we play with our cousins, we go to play practice, we play games, we skateboard,

we practice our reading, and math. Wait, the girls don’t find that last one fun? I do!!

I love watching them tackle another math lesson or a math game. It is fun to me to see them not losing the skills of what they learned during the school year. I love seeing them add to what they learned from Labor Day to June.

I love seeing them compete against each other to read or do more reading activities for the library “Build a Better World” program. Each of the girls has finished the first booklet of 50 items and has earned a free dinner, a free ice cream treat, and an entry into the big giveaway.

They are about half way through their second giveaway entry. Sue is flying through the Dork Diaries Series. Caitlyn is enjoying lots of different books, print and Audio. Right now she is working on Three Cups of Tea:

The astonishing, uplifting story of a real-life Indiana Jones and his humanitarian campaign to use education to combat terrorism in the Taliban’s backyard

Anyone who despairs of the individual’s power to change lives has to read the story of Greg Mortenson, a homeless mountaineer who, following a 1993 climb of Pakistan’s treacherous K2, was inspired by a chance encounter with impoverished mountain villagers and promised to build them a school. Over the next decade he built fifty-five schools—especially for girls—that offer a balanced education in one of the most isolated and dangerous regions on earth. As it chronicles Mortenson’s quest, which has brought him into conflict with both enraged Islamists and uncomprehending Americans, Three Cups of Tea combines adventure with a celebration of the humanitarian spirit (description taken from Amazon).

Not all of our fun has been that educational. We have spent time watching tv, playing computer games, cooking,

cleaning the house.

It’s a well rounded summer, right?

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Posted in Homeschool, kidlets, Summer fun

Happiness Is

Posted on March 27, 2017 | Leave a comment

We just finished up Sue’s run of “You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown.” The last song is “Happiness is” which fit perfectly with my friend’s post yesterday.

We’ve had lots of happiness lately.

Happiness is… watching your daughter blossom just a bit more in her second play this weekend.

Happiness is…Getting some one-on-one time with Sue to speak to her what is on my heart,

“do you know when I see you the most alive, the most you? When you are at practice or on the stage doing a show. You are amazing. Don’t let anyone tell you any different. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do something, God made you amazing, always be who He made you to be.” She came over to my side and as I hugged her, and blinked back tears, I said, “I know sometimes at home you feel overshadowed by an older sister who is very strong, and a Patrice who is, well, Patrice, but you are strong, smart capable, and amazing. I know there are things that don’t come easy, but there are other things that just make you shine. Walk in them all. Be you, be strong and amazing and beautiful. I had a lot of people tell me what I couldn’t do, what I wasn’t, that I wasn’t strong and here I am, kind of old…some of that I can fix, I can run my butt off, but some I can’t. Don’t let people whether they be family, friends, or random people tell you what you can and can’t do!“