Our Giggles and Grimaces

We had a Flop Today

Posted on November 4, 2015 | 1 comment

Caitlyn has been reading this fun book, Pie by Sarah Weeks. Each chapter includes a pie recipe. Caitlyn has been bugging me for days to try the Chocolate Cream Pie. So, today we finallllllly did.

1 cup sugar
3 Tbsp cornstarch
2 Tbsp cocoa powder
pinch of salt
3 cups milk
3 egg yolks
1 tsp vanilla
1 Tbsp butter

combine cornstarch, sugar, cocoa powder and salt in a suacepan. Beat egg yolks and milk in a separate boil then mix into saucepan. Cook over medium heat, stirring until mixture thickens. Remove from heat. Stir in vanilla and butter. Pour mixture into bakes pie shell, cool and refrigerate. Serve with whipped topping.

All sounds great. And pretty easy, right? Dang thing won’s set up. I don’t know if we didn’t stir over heat long enough or maybe we needed to let it cool before it went in the fridge. All I do know is, I have chocolate soup pie in my fridge.

1 Comment

Posted in #nablopomo, Caitlyn

All the Pretties

Posted on November 3, 2015 | 3 comments

3 Comments

Posted in #nablopomo, Caitlyn, kidlets, Patrice, Sue

They Showed Us Up

Posted on November 2, 2015 | 3 comments

Saturday hubby and I stepped way out of our comfort zone. We volunteered to decorate our trunk and pass out candy at our churches’ inaugural trunk or treat.

We pulled out the girls stuffed animals and made a jungle. I bought three big bags of candy. Certainly that would be enough.

Alas, it was not. We, and the church, ran out of candy in the first 20 minutes. People from the planning team were immediately sent to get more candy, but what to do with the kids there now?

The girls had gone around to the trunks at the beginning of the trunk or treat and ended up with lots of candy. As you know, candy is a precious commodity for kids, but ours pulled out the candy they had collected and gave it away as we waited for candy reinforcements.

Talk about being proud of my girls! I knew they were amazing but they really showed it Saturday. I was so proud of them. I still am. I told some sweet neighbors down the street, and yesterday, they showed up with this.

They were touched by our girls too and wanted to gift them with this to show when we bless God, He blesses us.

Now, do we need all that candy? Heavens no, trust me, I’ve already eaten too much of it, but the message behind it is worth every last piece.

3 Comments

Posted in #nablopomo, giving, habits, holidays, memories

Two of My Three Daughters

Posted on November 1, 2015 | 2 comments

I know you are not supposed to compare your kids to other peoples’ or each other. But it is hard not to.

Can I get an amen?!

I have three girls, ages 9, almost 8, and 5. My nine year old is uber responsible. My third one is still the clueless, cute 5 year old. My 7 year old. My dear 7 year old. She’s just on another planet. She is clueless on how to do many things her sister was doing at her age, she is struggling in areas Caitlyn sailed through without a pause. She is still working on learning to read and Dear Lord, you can just assume she is going to lose anything you put money into and keep anything that is righteous garbage.

I am not sure what to do. Now to be fair, she did decide last week to start doing the laundry (not including folding) without prompting and did a great job. I am hoping this continues into next week. I can forgive a lot for a kid who does the laundry.

In the meantime, I feel like I am always yelling at her. Always scolding her, always correcting her. I worry she will see the difference between her and her sisters when it comes to my fussing. I hate how frustrated it makes me feel. And how frustrated it must make her.

I have to bite my tongue often to stop myself from saying, “why can’t you be more like your sisters?” I know, no matter how tempting it is, I must refrain from ever saying that to her. Not only because it would not feed her spirit, but also because I don’t want to change her spirit. I don’t want to change her. I just want to know how to get through all the glorious fun chatter, dancing, singing, and merry making that is Sue in order to teach her skills and behaviors she needs to know.

So I will keep trudging along saying,

“I will not compare.”

2 Comments

Posted in #nablopomo, Caitlyn, kidlets, Sue

What Does Grace Look Like?

Posted on October 29, 2015 | 3 comments

This is what grace looks like:

Grace is 5 years ago this little bundle screaming her head off as we put her up to the slide (not down the slide), while her very sick mama battled postpartum depression, anxiety and psychosis in the background.

Grace is a mama still be here, homeschooling, her three beautiful daughters that 5 years ago today she tried to surrender them to her midwife during a psychotic break.

Grace, grace, Gods’ grace is this little girl, who was screaming on that slide 5 years ago while her mama battled for her mind, now wrapping her arms around her mama and telling her she’s the best mama ever.

3 Comments

Posted in baby 3, Bipolar Disorder, kidlets, memories, midwife, Patrice, Postpartum Depression

The Recipe Within

Posted on October 19, 2015 | Leave a comment

I remember very clearly when my friend go married. We were in college. I loved making the trips to her hometown for bridal showers, getting together to help, and finally, on the morning of her wedding, helping her color her hair. It was the first and last time I ever applied hair dye.

On the day of her wedding. Yup.

I remember playing games at her bridal shower. I won one of them and got this great cookbook from the dollar store. All these years later, it is still one of my favorite cookbooks.

Here is the recipe I use most from it:

2 Pie Crusts

1 cup vegetable shortening
3 cups white flour
1 1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup ice water

Mix shortening, flour and salt together. Slowly add ice water until the dough forms a ball. Split dough and roll out into 2 crusts.

What is your favorite recipe? Is there a story behind it?

The Decision

Posted on October 9, 2015 | 1 comment

The decision to homeschool is an intensely personal one to make. Everyone homeschools for the reasons that fit their family.

Each family brings their own reasons and their own skills to the world of homeschooling.

For many, it is the desire to be the one who is there when their kids make a new discovery. For others, it is the opportunity to instill their faith or beliefs in their kids. For still others, it is because of bullying in the schools. For some it is the desire to tailor curriculum and teaching methods to their child’s way of learning. For most, I think it is a combination of reasons.

For me, I wanted to be home with my kids, I wanted to be there for the learning breakthroughs. I wanted to teach them in the way they best learned and I wanted to teach our faith to them every day.

I love seeing them sprawled out on a chair or with a pom pom over their head while reading a book or doing math. I love knowing we can learn in this relaxed environment while still knowing how to sit quietly in a sit and raising our hand to be called upon in a group setting. I love having them run over to give me a hug or sitting on my lap while we read our math lesson. I love seeing them start their independent work early in the morning, without being told. I love being able to add in special art projects or history lessons based on the day or our curriculum. I love adding in our faith throughout each day, in every subject.

These are many, not all, of my reasons.

1 Comment

Posted in Homeschool

The Apple of Our Eyes

Posted on October 2, 2015 | Leave a comment

Lived Out Loud

Posted on October 1, 2015 | Leave a comment

Over the last 5 years, I have shared a lot. About fun stuff. About confusing stuff. And about hard stuff. Sometimes, really hard stuff.

Mental illness, first as postpartum depression, anxiety and psychosis and then as bipolar disorder II has been something I have talked a great deal about. I often walk away from various blog posts raw, wondering what I am thinking sharing so much of myself. Most of the time, I continue on with the post.

Sometimes, things get held in tight.

So, why do I do this? Why do I share the hard? Why don’t I just stop whining and move on?

Today, I was reminded why.

Someone in my day-to-day life noticed a change in me, noticed that I seem to be moving slower. And she’s right. I feel like I am often in a dream, stuck in slower motion. I told her it was because of medication I was on. She surprised me by asking what medication–so I told her, bipolar disorder. She took it in stride and didn’t totally weird out on me.

But I walked away wondering why I had told her so bluntly. Why did bare a part of me that many people would hold in close. I puzzled over it awhile. And then it hit me.

It’s the only way to get rid of stigma. I have to be able to show that I function and live well with mental illness if I want people to some day accept it as okay, as not quite normal, but not a monster to be feared. If I want that day to come, I have to do my part of usher it in.

I have to live it out loud.

One Foot In Front of the Other

Posted on September 28, 2015 | 2 comments

The last week has been hard. The dark has been dark and the noise in my head has been loud. It has been a struggle and a few times I have been scared.

Every time I go through a downturn like this and come out the other side, my therapist asks what did I do that helped. That question is harder to answer than you might think.

What did I do?

I exercised.

I prayed.

I reached out to key people I knew would love and support me no matter what words I said.

It isn’t just any one thing. It is everything.

I put one foot in front of the other.

2 Comments

Posted in Bipolar Disorder